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#372
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[16:39] <@Ten> https://cdn15.acloudimages.com/36d/f74/389/300x250_30.gif she just keeps typing D:
[16:41] <blackhole> she probably wants to propose you for sex but she is scared of being so direct
[16:42] <blackhole> ignore her. unsecure females are not too good in bed
[16:42] <blackhole> ..or insecure
[16:43] <@Ten> have you had much experience with insecure females in bed?
[16:43] <blackhole> i'm always the insecure female in bed
[16:44] * blackhole is typing...
[16:44] * blackhole is typing...
[16:44] * blackhole is typing...
[16:45] <blackhole> hi?
[16:45] * @Ten is typing...
[16:46] * blackhole is typing...
#405
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[19:11:55] * Superman considers outing Syn
[19:15:34] <selatos> as what
[19:15:56] <selatos> a vampire? a homosexual? a tortured teenage soul?
[19:16:07] <selatos> a falleen?
[19:23:04] <Superman> even worse
[19:23:11] <Superman> a german speaker
#166
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[18:04:47] <mikel> What is the difference between a woman and a man
[18:04:50] <mikel> er
[18:04:55] <mikel> What is the difference between a wombat and a man
[18:04:58] <Thor> ...
#46
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[13:49:01] <£> Humph.
[13:49:08] <£> I was expecting a picture of your nipple.
[13:49:13] <£> You disappoint me.
[13:49:15] <Ayatollah_Khomo> Do you want one?
[13:49:20] <Mikel> I have one
[13:49:21] <Ayatollah_Khomo> I have one somewhere
[13:49:32] <£> You should have two.
[13:49:39] <£> And the location is pretty standard across all models.
#341
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[16:11:55] <Kilian> Lee Lee, Keth is our local night walker
[16:12:30] <Keth> bleh!
[16:12:34] * Keth avoids garlic
[16:12:49] <Kilian> no I meant male prostitue
[16:13:49] <Keth> bleh!
[16:13:54] * Keth avoids the popo
#224
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[11:08:45] <Mikel> I don't bake a lot but when i do I try to find a recipe that goes by weight
[11:08:52] <Mikel> a cup of flour can vary immensely
[11:08:53] <Azarin> To me, cup means "grab whatever cup from the cupboard which is too small to drink from"
[11:09:10] <Mikel> Well that's just stupid, a cup is a defined measurement
[11:09:17] <Mikel> but it's only good for liquids
[11:09:43] <Mikel> Then you have BS like "a cup of brown sugar (loosely/tightly) packed"
[11:10:12] <Claven> You say that, but is it a coffee cup, or one of those little cappuchino cups, or a world cup? It doesn´t say! *kitchenfire*
[11:11:44] <Azarin> Haha, "use your 1994 world cup to measure the sugar. If you weren't part of the Brazil national team in that year, use a replica"
#21
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[15:17:26] * Vlash_Kimer yawns
[15:19:51] * Sidakin][Vos throws a golf ball into Vlash's mouth
[15:20:11] * Vlash_Kimer cock
[15:20:22] <syn> cock?
[15:20:24] <Vlash_Kimer> *chocks
[15:20:42] <Sidakin][Vos> ...........
[15:20:47] * Vlash_Kimer (~dolittle2@SWC-IRC.C54E5EC8A37450.TR) Quit (Quit: )
[15:20:47] <Sidakin][Vos> its chokes*
[15:20:48] <syn> It's okay, that's my first thought when someone is getting something shoved in their mouth, too.
[15:20:49] <Sidakin][Vos> xD!!!!!!!!!
[15:20:56] <Sidakin][Vos> He got embrassed
#285
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[10:31:15] <@Twelve> Medical procedures performed in ancient Africa before they were performed in Europe include vaccination, autopsy, limb traction and broken bone setting, bullet removal, brain surgery, skin grafting, filling of dental cavities, installation of false teeth, what is now known as Caesarean section, anesthesia and tissue cauterization (3).
[10:31:21] <@Twelve> bullet removal
[10:31:31] <@Twelve> ancient africa was advanced as fuck
[10:31:48] <@Twelve> they were shooting black people long before ferguson
#36
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[03:01:42] <Bresarr_The_Hutt> Your character is not in the physical condition to perform any actions.
[03:01:49] <Bresarr_The_Hutt> Son of a bitch...the combine just called me fat...
[03:02:04] <Orphaea_Imperium> you're not fat, you're big flubbed
[03:02:32] <Light> You're not fat, you're ugly.
[03:03:11] <Bresarr_The_Hutt> Well...next time I think about slitting my wrists, I'm coming here to get the extra morale boost
#309
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[23:15:47] <Cherokee> I've invented the double wink
[23:22:39] <Cherokee> k
[23:22:48] <Cherokee> turns out that's just a blink
[23:22:52] <Cherokee> back to the drawing board
#359
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[08:05:01] <selatos> new server, yo
[08:05:45] * Loki strokes it
[17:31:16] <selatos> i only stroke it in private
[17:31:28] <selatos> maybe you need to be more discreet
[17:53:18] <Loki> this is private! It's just me and two other dudes
[18:37:09] <Superman> Did you just assume my gender?
[18:53:45] <Loki> sorry what are your preferred pronouns
[18:54:04] <Loki> I just kinda went by the "man" part of your name but now I realize that was foolish of me and it could simply be a surname
[18:58:31] <Superman> I prefer the guttural sound of man, but my preferred pronouns include 'phi' and 'phur'
[18:58:43] <Superman> My preference of the sound of the word man does not denote my gender
#380
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[00:28:28] <Loki> whoa whoa dont go spreading around to everyone that I'd fuck literally anyone
[00:29:11] <Kez> If you didnt want ppl thinking that then you shouldnt be showing up at swap meets with yours hands full of booty
[00:29:28] <Loki> I showed up with my hands almost empty, but then people kept putting things in them, like drinks, and their asses
[00:29:52] <Kez> I saw plenty of grabbing Syn
[00:29:55] <Kez> you little cheater
[00:30:04] <Loki> It's not cheating if I lie about it and pretend like it didn't happen
[00:30:27] <Kez> Man, that just hits every form of corruption and rules breaking this game has seen
[00:30:32] <Loki> I like to be efficient
#136
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[14:20:25] * Daemon_Anderson (~JohnyRi42@SWC-IRC.2CAAF03E7FABC8.SWC) has joined #SWC-Members
[14:22:00] <Daemon_Anderson> ¯\(º_o)/¯ ?(-??~-~) ?(?????)? ?(????~?•~?)? ?(-??~•~)? ??[????]? __?i????? ??l _?i????? ??l??? ??l?*?? ??i???
[14:22:59] <Geno> Let me get this straight, you're new to the Combine and you don't know what to do?
#215
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[19:15:48] <mikelsewhere> The Jewish kids at my school were always the teachers favourites. No one else got given gold stars.
#7
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[21:19] <Mikel> Want a secure place to keep that monthly paycheck? Need a loan? Want a bank built in that new city of yours? Think Universal Network Bank for all your banking needs! Visit #cmg-unb .
[21:20] <Keir> I want a loan! :D
[21:20] <Keir> As much money as I can get on no collateral :D
[21:21] <Mikel> What is cullatoral?
[21:21] <Keir> that's my type of bank!
#288
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[19:36:37] <Brand> My dad gave me a birthday card that was signed 'Happy Birthday, please recycling this card, love pop'
[19:37:04] <Brand> So i crossed out Birthday and wrote 'x-mas' and crossed out Pop and wrote 'son'
#82
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[03:27] <Bryce> SWC is my facebook!
[03:28] <.Light> and just like on facebook, you have no friends
#240
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[23:28:44] <Selatos> yo ucan milk anything with nipples
[23:28:58] <Twelve> I've never tried milking anyone with my nipples
#242
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[11:49:01] <Squall_Chitose> I asked my friend if his mom was a sewer....
[11:49:05] <Squall_Chitose> I meant somebody who sews.
#17
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[04:16:59] <Edward-Dalen> anyone know about the movement to redesign the keyboard?
[04:17:30] <Edward-Dalen> apparently qwerty is designed to make us type slow
[04:17:40] <Edward-Dalen> because it was designed for typewriters
[04:17:41] <Cypher_Diaz> convert to dvorak then ..
[04:17:44] <Edward-Dalen> that would jam
[04:17:58] <Vip_Fortuna> we need new words that do match better with the current keyboard setting.
[04:18:06] <Jaxom_Sky> ^
[04:18:12] <Jaxom_Sky> redesign words not the keyboard!
[04:18:15] <Cypher_Diaz> lol
[04:18:17] <Contabile_Quetzalxochitl> agreed
[04:18:20] <Cypher_Diaz> the obvious solution.
#347
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[11:03] <@Twelve> It's hard to parse incoming tactical information when someone is reading you literotica featuring your mother
#286
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[11:08:58] <%Hudson> Starting build 5075 for job hoth (previous build: STILL FAILING -- last SUCCESS #4690 4 mo 3 days ago)
[11:09:52] <Brand> If you wanted something to tell you that you're a failure and that your last success was months ago, why not just get married?
#52
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[14:54:01] * EthanW tries to set chin on fire
[14:54:21] * Chin is made out of asbestos
[14:54:27] * Chin hugs Ethan
[14:54:39] <Chin> DIE!
[14:54:40] <EthanW> :'(
[14:54:43] <Chin> in 30 years or so!
#59
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[16:40:33] <Apoch_Rhine> I have a question as a new player.
[16:40:41] <Crog> shoot
[16:40:43] <Arthur> Ask and thou shalt recieve
[16:40:52] <Apoch_Rhine> I can not seem to select a starting location
[16:40:57] <Arthur> you need a gun
[16:40:59] <Arthur> to shoot
[16:41:03] <Crog> shoot
[16:41:06] <Arthur> pew pew
[16:41:15] <Crog> what was the question again?
[16:41:18] <Apoch_Rhine> screen comes up blank
[16:41:30] <Crog> you sure its combine
[16:42:10] <Apoch_Rhine> I have also selected possition and it does nothing as well
[16:42:11] <Crog> REFRESH REFRESH
[16:42:28] <Apoch_Rhine> yes I tired that
[16:42:35] <Crog> DO NOT hold a piece of paper before the screen and press print screen DO NOT
[16:42:53] <Crog> log off and login again
[16:43:04] <Arthur> close the window and open again
[16:43:05] <Crog> do not drink while doing that
[16:43:11] <Light> did you check to see that your computer is turned on
[16:43:12] <Arthur> and shut down and shut on again
[16:43:25] <Arthur> do not smoke when you do that either
[16:43:30] <Arthur> the computer does not like smoke
[16:43:30] <Crog> log of rom combine , shut it al off and then sart up again
[16:43:36] <Apoch_Rhine> great now I am talking to India
#56
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[23:06:56] <Light> It's just words!
[23:07:03] <£> You're just words.
[23:07:06] <Light> )`:
[23:07:21] <Light> I'm only one word technically
[23:07:39] <£> I can think of at least three.
[23:07:48] <Light> asshole
[23:07:52] <£> okay, four
#87
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* ThomasRed is now known as Thomas
* Thomas is now known as ThomasRed
* ThomasRed is now known as Thomas
<Thomas> Sh*t
<Thomas> Itw ont let me do ThomasRed afk
<Thomas> \It
<Thomas> wont
* Thomas is now known as ThomasRed
* ThomasRed is now known as Th{o}masRed
* Th{o}masRed is now known as Tho{masRed}
<Tho{masRed}> That means I am afk
<Tho{masRed}> :O
<Tho{masRed}> F*ck it
<Tho{masRed}> FIt wont let me o my nick the way I want
* Tho{masRed} is now known as ThomasRed_afk
<ThomasRed_afk> better
* ThomasRed_afk is now known as ThomasRed_going
* ThomasRed_going is now known as ThomasRed_afk
<Kun> he must have a 0 in computer operations...
#430
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[16:53:26] <selatos> this isn't like sex
[16:53:34] <selatos> the faster you finish the more you can do it
[16:53:48] <Loki> how is that not like sex
[16:54:18] <selatos> everyone is happier when sex is not the shortest possible
[16:54:27] <Loki> but you can still do it more the faster you finish!
[16:54:29] <Loki> its efficient
[16:54:32] <Loki> if your goal is as many sex as possible
[16:54:41] <Loki> the refractory period starts earlier, but it also ends earlier!
[16:54:52] <Loki> or as I like to call it, the global cooldown
[16:54:53] <selatos> but then your girl gets annoyed and leaves
[16:55:04] <selatos> so total time spent sexing is shorter
[16:55:05] <Loki> that just means you didnt secure the handcuffs well enough
#199
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[23:13:45] <Ten> well, I always say the macklemore the macklemerrier
#130
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[15:32] * Lilly smiles at Stephy, the best woman.
[15:32] <@Horley_Cyan> Scott take the ring and place it in Lilly's finger
[15:32] <@Horley_Cyan> On Lilly's finger :)
[15:33] * Neria gigle
[15:33] <.Neria> s
[15:33] * Chin suppresses a laugh by coughing politely
[15:33] * Scott_Hood takes the ring and places it on Lilly´s finger ( http://custom.swcombine.com/static/12/225/1-1196055-1347999164-large.jpg )
[15:33] * Django slap chin on the back to help him cough
[15:34] * Rus_Pendragon said ssshh to chin
[15:34] <@Horley_Cyan> Lilly can u please take the ring and place it on Scott's finger
[15:34] * Finar_the_Hutt shifts slightly (a large movement for a hutt)
[15:34] * Lilly gently holds Scott's hand and slides the ring onto his finger.
[15:35] * Stonewall_Lee takes a swig from his flask
[15:37] * var (var@swc-irc.n57.837.v1n9rq.IP) has joined #House_Derycke
[15:37] <@Horley_Cyan> Your lives before this day were but small streams running down a hillside, today you have become one and together are a force that can accomplish great tasks. Always remember this and few things will ever become a hindrance to u
[15:38] * var walks into the building, into the isle and looks about for a brief moment. He promptly drops his drawers, squats and takes a shit, then turns and walks back out with his trousers still around his ankles.
[15:38] * var (var@swc-irc.n57.837.v1n9rq.IP) has left #House_Derycke
[15:38] * Neria sets mode +b *!var@swc-irc.n57.837.v1n9rq.IP for #House_Derycke
[15:38] <Leebri_Chelski> O.O
[15:38] <Leebri_Chelski> Seriously
[15:39] <Leebri_Chelski> ****
[15:39] * Lilly God modes badly
[15:39] * Anax sipps his beer
[15:39] * Stonewall_Lee cleans up the Dug excrement
[15:39] <+Rus_Pendragon> ****
[15:39] <@Stephy> sssh...
[15:39] <%Count_Ketwol> (hes Kaleesh now)
#159
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[16:59:14] <.Loki|starkphone> I don't support spousal abuse
[16:59:28] <.Loki|starkphone> I had a bad experience with a horse
#244
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[11:54:02] <Deric_Adams> who else is playing?
[11:56:57] * Kelmanis_Vaan (Kelmanis@super.soldier) has joined #SWC-Members
[11:57:09] <Clark_Kent> Uh
[11:57:15] <Clark_Kent> Me and three random dudes
[11:57:22] <Kelmanis_Vaan> Go on.
[11:57:34] <Kelmanis_Vaan> Is this a story or request?
#54
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[03:02:42] <Thirteen> the mosquito I whacked out of the sky with a sponge is drunk walking toward me
[03:03:08] <Thirteen> and no, that's not a fall out boy song title
#174
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[01:12:34] <Tembre_Fell> pretty sure I have brain damage
[01:12:45] <Loki> pretty sure brain damage is actually a prerequisite for joining this room
[01:15:11] <Raptor-Cardel> How's Tembre?
[01:15:19] <Loki> who are you asking?!
[01:15:22] <Tembre_Fell> I dunno, lemme ask him!
[01:15:35] <Raptor-Cardel> Get back to me when you know! :D
[01:15:40] <Tembre_Fell> say hello to the nice people, Tembre
[01:15:48] <Loki> can we get back to the brain damage thing now
[01:16:00] <Tembre_Fell> I think in a way we never left
[01:16:05] <Geno> a short pencil is better than a long noodle
[01:16:10] <Loki> ..
[01:16:12] <Tembre_Fell> what
#248
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[00:47:36] <blackhole> oh, ukrania dissolved the gov too
[00:48:10] <blackhole> man, the re-enablement of member requirements is screwing everyone
#432
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[23:07:59] <Loki> Alternate between swiveling both wrists in opposite directions and stroking your hands upward, twisting your wrists when you reach his head as though you are turning a doorknob. Rub your thumb in a tiny figure-eight pattern over his frenelum... Or try the windshield-wiper move; glide your thumb from side to side along the rim where his head begins, then move your thumb up and over the top of the head several times.
[23:08:14] <Loki> yeah im gonna need a diagram here
[23:08:19] <Russ> That is a lot of detail
[23:08:20] <Twelve> yes, turn that doorknob
[23:08:29] <Russ> Either you are copying this straight or you have attempted this
[23:08:57] <Loki> I'm sitting here with my hands making motions that are disappointingly not obscene but look like I'm trying to summon a demon
[23:09:41] <Russ> And you're not getting anything out of this?
[23:09:55] <Loki> Not even a lesser demon
#433
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[16:54:29] <Cherokee> the trick to not cry when chopping onions is to not form an emotional bond
#83
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[20:53] <Crog> feed me melon slices.
[20:53] <Alex_Truman> I am no longer your man slave.
[20:53] <Ten> not since his operation
#345
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[03:19:15] <Loki> ten aftershocks so far
[03:19:47] <Ten> are you saying I'm fat
[03:21:56] <Loki> I'm saying you rocked my world for at least a minute and a half, with several breaks in the middle
[03:23:20] <Ten> that's what I'm known for
[03:23:25] <Ten> a minute and a half with several breaks
#191
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[20:40:57] <Luke_Whitelock> I was a pilot for some people but I was stuck in a Y-wing
[20:41:07] <Luke_Whitelock> so I drop my guy
[20:41:31] <Sol_Savrek> Why did you lock yourself in a Y-Wing?
[20:41:48] <Luke_Whitelock> I did not I was attack in hyper space
[20:41:59] <Loki> ah yes with ship combat
[20:42:02] <Sol_Savrek> No you werent
[20:42:07] <Loki> and was your ship damaged in the attack
[20:42:10] <Sol_Savrek> You cant battle in hyperspace
[20:42:18] <Sol_Savrek> I call lies!
[20:42:45] <Luke_Whitelock> I was attack by pirates
[20:42:49] <Loki> which pirates?
[20:43:00] <Luke_Whitelock> they had a integrator gravity wall
[20:43:27] <Luke_Whitelock> no clue just said pirates
[20:44:37] <Luke_Whitelock> so I was stuck in space
[20:45:05] <Luke_Whitelock> had no were to go could not see where I was
[20:45:20] <Loki> How do you know you were attacked then
[20:45:22] <Mephiston> This sounds exciting, I want to play the game this guy is playing.
#198
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[08:31:36] <Xjan> Democracy = corporations running the nation
[08:49:32] <@Ten> yeah, I remember that from my history books
[08:49:38] <@Ten> corporations running all of ancient greece
#219
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[19:46:28] <@mikelsewhere> Boy Sentenced to Jail Because of Large Penis
[19:46:29] <@mikelsewhere> A Russian court tried a 13-year-old as an adult based on the size of his genitals
[19:46:37] <Sigmund_von_Ismay> Well shit.
[19:46:46] <Sigmund_von_Ismay> I'm going to be tried like a black man.
[19:47:10] <@mikelsewhere> Presumed guilty and murdered on the street it is, then
#125
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[12:56:44] * [A]Nuroudo is now known as Nuroudo
[12:56:53] <Deric_Adams> Nuroudo!
[12:56:59] <Deric_Adams> how are you my friend?
[12:57:20] <Thirteen> yes, how is it that you are deric's friend
[12:58:46] <Deric_Adams> :(
#423
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[22:58:39] <Dalovan_Lombardo> How was the race Blackhole?
[22:59:03] <blackhole> i finished it and didn't end the 8000th so that's great
[22:59:22] <Dalovan_Lombardo> Good good
[23:00:03] <blackhole> and how are you? tell me about yourself
[23:00:06] * blackhole (blackhole@swc-irc.7do.9pm.1cvv54.IP) Quit (Quit: <Loki> past. Help! My scientist friend showed me his time machine, which keeps sending me three seconds into the)
[23:01:43] * blackhole (blackhole@swc-irc.7do.9pm.1cvv54.IP) has joined #SWC-Members
[23:01:58] <Dalovan_Lombardo> Why do he keep leaving :-(
[23:02:49] <blackhole> it's called conceptual art
[23:03:23] <Dalovan_Lombardo> Hmm
[23:03:26] <Mora> It is called fatherhood
[23:03:28] <blackhole> also, this way, i never know if you are pregnant
#138
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[14:25:31] <CPL_Goerke> I'm in A-school for the Navy, I got out of boot camp about 2 days ago
[14:25:43] <Deric_Adams> sweet
[14:25:50] <Deric_Adams> what job?
[14:27:48] <CPL_Goerke> Cryptology
[14:28:14] <Mesh`la> that's so fun, I love studying Crypts
#398
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[14:33:56] <Hank> how you get testes if your force
[14:34:12] <Raidan> Most guys are born with testes
[14:34:20] <Raidan> Doesn't need the force :S
[14:34:56] <Hank> test***
[14:34:58] <Hank> sorry lol
#38
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[18:16:40] <Xavian> is self enslavery allowable?
[18:18:52] <£> That isn't even a word, let alone a question that's specific enough to be answerable. >: /
[18:24:35] <Xavian> you know what I mean :P
[18:24:41] <Xavian> can I enslave myself
[18:26:10] <Xavian> hmm
[18:30:35] <£> I have no idea what you mean.
[18:30:46] <Xavian> I mean
[18:30:49] <Xavian> Sell myself
[18:30:50] <Xavian> :D
[18:31:04] <£> It sounds more like a philosophical question than a tech support one.
[18:31:09] <£> Sell yourself in what way?
[18:31:15] <Xavian> like
[18:31:19] <Xavian> ok
[18:31:27] <Xavian> you know NPCs?
[18:31:30] <Xavian> like that
[18:31:37] <Xavian> but I cost money!
[18:31:43] <Xavian> its foolproof
[18:31:52] <Xavian> seriously though
[18:31:59] <Xavian> its hard to explain
[18:32:02] <Xavian> hmmm
[18:32:05] <Xavian> aha
[18:32:07] <Xavian> its like
[18:32:09] <Xavian> labour
[18:32:15] <Xavian> but they have to pay
[18:32:23] <Xavian> but it has rp options
[18:32:54] <£> So...you want a job.
#126
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[18:12:50] <Gav> My cat smelt something
[18:14:02] <Cyan> your cat can't work a forge!
#258
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[22:21:08] <Loki> Over the past few days I learned that I have a lot in common with Sel's cat
[22:21:13] <selatos> it's true
[22:21:18] <Ten> you both guard selatos, and what else?
[22:21:20] <TembreFell> thick black fur
[22:21:31] <Ten> unkept fingernails
[22:21:32] <TembreFell> long tail
[22:21:37] <selatos> whiskers
[22:21:37] <blackhole> if you pull their tails they scratch your face
[22:21:41] <TembreFell> mange
[22:21:41] <Ten> syn can't fall on his back
[22:21:42] <Loki> The only real difference is I'm not quite as housebroken
[22:21:53] <selatos> true, my cat never pissed on the floor
[22:22:03] <Loki> I only did it one time
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[22:44:51] <Away> We don't need Combat!
[22:45:00] <Away> SWCoders trading card game!
[22:45:37] <Sin> The Dreighton Card awards your side with an unfair advantage
[22:45:58] <Sin> The Syn card removes any card in play from the game >.>
[22:46:11] <Alex_Track> lol
[22:46:17] <Alex_Track> what about the Alex Card?
[22:46:27] <Sin> -5 Charisma
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[13:28] <Greyson> i've never lost my virginity because I never lose

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