Random

#76
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<Keir> I have enough terrorists and their families on my cellphone that I'm sure I'm on a watchlist myself somewhere.
<Dante> Impressive, though I'm not sure why you would want to have terrorists in your contacts.
<Daktal> I bet it impresses girls.
<Lisa_Dent> "Hey baby what's your number, I'll put it right beneath Muqtada al-Sadr. Yeah, we club, s'cool."
#382
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[23:49:21] <Kivan_Hamner> Twas the night before Christmas and all throughout the house
[23:49:29] <Kivan_Hamner> the AC was blowing, cause I live in the South
#150
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<|||Ashlyana|||> In California you can always find a party, in Soviet Russia, party can always find you.
#44
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[03:17:23] <Light> That's pretty much my favorite part of SWC. Something completely insignificant and random occurs and e-people start psychologically profiling you.
[03:17:46] <Pozz> it's phrases like that that get you branded a corpse-banger
[03:17:48] <Sleek> yeah, i agree with the rapist
#131
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[23:12:12] <Selatos> var why are you being emo
[23:12:35] <Varfarius> I've got the heart break blues selatos. Sadly, it's not from my girlfriend.
[23:12:53] <Varfarius> Is it bad I feel more betrayed by a server than my own girlfriend when she won't put out?!
[23:13:24] <Selatos> if your server isn't putting out, i feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems, but a misconfig ain't one
#168
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[21:18:32] <@Zhao> Life must have been hard growing up south of the Mississipi
[21:18:33] <@Zhao> >.>
[21:18:37] <@Zhao> Or however the fuck it's spelt
[21:18:52] <&Selatos> dude the mississippi runs north-south
[21:19:03] <&Selatos> you grow up either east or west of it :P
#28
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[18:10:15] <Keir> If it's "sick" to chain your eldest daughter in the basement, tell your wife she ran away, then use her as a brood mother for you to raise speechless mutants underground, then I guess we're all a little "sick"
#125
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[12:56:44] * [A]Nuroudo is now known as Nuroudo
[12:56:53] <Deric_Adams> Nuroudo!
[12:56:59] <Deric_Adams> how are you my friend?
[12:57:20] <Thirteen> yes, how is it that you are deric's friend
[12:58:46] <Deric_Adams> :(
#106
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[16:09] <Pozz_Umgee> if I had a nickel for everytime Ten tried to get me to talk about my penis, I'd have like a buck twenty
[16:09] <.Syn> That's oddly specific
[16:09] <Pozz_Umgee> you don't keep track?
[16:09] <Pozz_Umgee> I'm keeping it in my online rape journal
#39
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[21:23:43] <Cherokee> In addition to wooden shoes, the Netherlands is also famous for their wooden socks.
#64
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[16:33:31] <Talor> Awesome, I still has 20x8,8%x0,33cl beer left
[16:34:13] <Cherokee[w]> Why does your beer have coordinates?
#10
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[19:02:00] <Keir|MST3K> Squall
[19:02:13] <Squall_Chitose> yes?
[19:02:26] <Keir|MST3K> If you get shot in Iraq, promise me you'll scream either "Fucking camping bitch!" or "omg, he rolled a natural 20!" ?
#288
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[19:36:37] <Brand> My dad gave me a birthday card that was signed 'Happy Birthday, please recycling this card, love pop'
[19:37:04] <Brand> So i crossed out Birthday and wrote 'x-mas' and crossed out Pop and wrote 'son'
#11
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[19:13:21] <Phryss> Does anyone else get really paranoid when you email people that you have never emailed before? I always fear getting marked as spam, so I end up writing really weird emails that don't include any URL and that read funny in an attempt not to sound like a spambot.
#146
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[23:16:15] <Banquo> I'll pretend to be a Tylger.
[23:18:32] <Banquo> Seriously, you come out blasting, and I'll smoke a cigar and act like I'm rich.
#163
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<Guinar> Only you would bring a penis to a car fight, Squall.
#68
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[03:15:03] <Ten> I just realized something strange
[03:15:19] <DvD> You DONT have a vachina?
[03:15:30] <Ten> I don't know what a vachina is
[03:15:37] <Ten> so, probably not that
[03:16:00] <Ten> no, I just woke up to the realization that I've been talking out loud to my computer in a transformers voice
[03:17:59] <Ten> where did everyone go?!
[03:18:38] <Light> I went to poop
[03:19:20] <dorothy> I was smoking
[03:19:35] <Ten> phew
[03:19:44] <Ten> for a moment it was like my fourth birthday all over again
[03:19:52] <dorothy> lol
[03:20:08] <DvD> lol
[03:20:42] <Ten> we were playing hide and seek, my family, class mates, house staff
[03:20:44] <Ten> I was it
[03:20:54] <Ten> when I finished counting to ten, everyone was gone
#38
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[18:16:40] <Xavian> is self enslavery allowable?
[18:18:52] <£> That isn't even a word, let alone a question that's specific enough to be answerable. >: /
[18:24:35] <Xavian> you know what I mean :P
[18:24:41] <Xavian> can I enslave myself
[18:26:10] <Xavian> hmm
[18:30:35] <£> I have no idea what you mean.
[18:30:46] <Xavian> I mean
[18:30:49] <Xavian> Sell myself
[18:30:50] <Xavian> :D
[18:31:04] <£> It sounds more like a philosophical question than a tech support one.
[18:31:09] <£> Sell yourself in what way?
[18:31:15] <Xavian> like
[18:31:19] <Xavian> ok
[18:31:27] <Xavian> you know NPCs?
[18:31:30] <Xavian> like that
[18:31:37] <Xavian> but I cost money!
[18:31:43] <Xavian> its foolproof
[18:31:52] <Xavian> seriously though
[18:31:59] <Xavian> its hard to explain
[18:32:02] <Xavian> hmmm
[18:32:05] <Xavian> aha
[18:32:07] <Xavian> its like
[18:32:09] <Xavian> labour
[18:32:15] <Xavian> but they have to pay
[18:32:23] <Xavian> but it has rp options
[18:32:54] <£> So...you want a job.
#112
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[07:28:49] <Cherokee> ARE YOUR LEGS STILL TIRED SYN
[07:29:07] <Italian_Stallion_Loki> OH MY YES
[07:29:14] <Cherokee> WHY YOU YELLING
[07:29:18] <Italian_Stallion_Loki> YOU STARTED IT
[07:29:34] <Cherokee> YES BECAUSE YOU HAVE BAD INTERNET CONNECTION , WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU HEAR ME
#258
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[22:21:08] <Loki> Over the past few days I learned that I have a lot in common with Sel's cat
[22:21:13] <selatos> it's true
[22:21:18] <Ten> you both guard selatos, and what else?
[22:21:20] <TembreFell> thick black fur
[22:21:31] <Ten> unkept fingernails
[22:21:32] <TembreFell> long tail
[22:21:37] <selatos> whiskers
[22:21:37] <blackhole> if you pull their tails they scratch your face
[22:21:41] <TembreFell> mange
[22:21:41] <Ten> syn can't fall on his back
[22:21:42] <Loki> The only real difference is I'm not quite as housebroken
[22:21:53] <selatos> true, my cat never pissed on the floor
[22:22:03] <Loki> I only did it one time
#130
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[15:32] * Lilly smiles at Stephy, the best woman.
[15:32] <@Horley_Cyan> Scott take the ring and place it in Lilly's finger
[15:32] <@Horley_Cyan> On Lilly's finger :)
[15:33] * Neria gigle
[15:33] <.Neria> s
[15:33] * Chin suppresses a laugh by coughing politely
[15:33] * Scott_Hood takes the ring and places it on Lilly´s finger ( http://custom.swcombine.com/static/12/225/1-1196055-1347999164-large.jpg )
[15:33] * Django slap chin on the back to help him cough
[15:34] * Rus_Pendragon said ssshh to chin
[15:34] <@Horley_Cyan> Lilly can u please take the ring and place it on Scott's finger
[15:34] * Finar_the_Hutt shifts slightly (a large movement for a hutt)
[15:34] * Lilly gently holds Scott's hand and slides the ring onto his finger.
[15:35] * Stonewall_Lee takes a swig from his flask
[15:37] * var (var@swc-irc.n57.837.v1n9rq.IP) has joined #House_Derycke
[15:37] <@Horley_Cyan> Your lives before this day were but small streams running down a hillside, today you have become one and together are a force that can accomplish great tasks. Always remember this and few things will ever become a hindrance to u
[15:38] * var walks into the building, into the isle and looks about for a brief moment. He promptly drops his drawers, squats and takes a shit, then turns and walks back out with his trousers still around his ankles.
[15:38] * var (var@swc-irc.n57.837.v1n9rq.IP) has left #House_Derycke
[15:38] * Neria sets mode +b *!var@swc-irc.n57.837.v1n9rq.IP for #House_Derycke
[15:38] <Leebri_Chelski> O.O
[15:38] <Leebri_Chelski> Seriously
[15:39] <Leebri_Chelski> ****
[15:39] * Lilly God modes badly
[15:39] * Anax sipps his beer
[15:39] * Stonewall_Lee cleans up the Dug excrement
[15:39] <+Rus_Pendragon> ****
[15:39] <@Stephy> sssh...
[15:39] <%Count_Ketwol> (hes Kaleesh now)
#98
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[05:02:41] <blackhole> why do i know how to spell cthulhu and not jirafee?
#15
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[17:44:06] * Cherokee[p] puts on his dress uniform and goes to the bingo hall
[17:44:36] <Cherokee[p]> I'm so lonely
[17:44:39] * Cherokee[p] sniffs
[17:44:46] * Cherokee[p] dabs as numbers are called
[17:44:58] <syn> You could hire Jackson for company
[17:45:11] <syn> He'd look a dashing trophy wife on your arm
[17:45:19] <Cherokee[p]> Tempting.
[17:45:37] <tgr316> I dont wear underwear. That way, you can tell when I poo
[17:45:43] <syn> I rescind my remark.
[17:45:55] <Cherokee[p]> Not as tempting any longer.
#21
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[15:17:26] * Vlash_Kimer yawns
[15:19:51] * Sidakin][Vos throws a golf ball into Vlash's mouth
[15:20:11] * Vlash_Kimer cock
[15:20:22] <syn> cock?
[15:20:24] <Vlash_Kimer> *chocks
[15:20:42] <Sidakin][Vos> ...........
[15:20:47] * Vlash_Kimer (~dolittle2@SWC-IRC.C54E5EC8A37450.TR) Quit (Quit: )
[15:20:47] <Sidakin][Vos> its chokes*
[15:20:48] <syn> It's okay, that's my first thought when someone is getting something shoved in their mouth, too.
[15:20:49] <Sidakin][Vos> xD!!!!!!!!!
[15:20:56] <Sidakin][Vos> He got embrassed
#16
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[18:15:32] <Phryss> I use HTML as a masturbatory aid.
#413
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[10:03:42] <Loki-cell> My phone informs me I'm driving right now.
[10:03:46] * Loki-cell sits motionless
[10:05:22] <Twelve> that's usually how it works when you're driving
[10:07:03] <Loki-cell> But I'm not moving at all! Except for how the planet is moving
[10:07:09] <Loki-cell> Like through space
[10:07:16] <Loki-cell> But relative to the planet I am motionless
[10:08:05] <Twelve> everyone looks like they're motionless when you zoom out far enough
#37
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[02:11:30] <JackTLadd> So catch the fishie, catch the fishie, catch the fishie, catch the fishie, catch the fishie, catch the fishie, catch the fishie, Howww?
[02:11:30] <JackTLadd> nab him! jab him! tab him! grag him! catch that fishie now!
[02:12:01] * Admiral_Ackmin scatters
#88
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[00:11] <Asa> pretty sure my in character daddy is dead
[00:11] <@JohnnyFox> Luke thought the same thing.
#25
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[17:10:01] <Ezekiel> Ha, just found the book everyone signed when we finished high school
[17:10:17] <Ezekiel> Ahh... the memories
[17:11:57] <Saint_Tidus> The Sex Offender's Watch List?
#14
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[23:50:43] <Phryss> My family has this odd habit of not distinguishing between inlaws and...outlaws.
#286
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[11:08:58] <%Hudson> Starting build 5075 for job hoth (previous build: STILL FAILING -- last SUCCESS #4690 4 mo 3 days ago)
[11:09:52] <Brand> If you wanted something to tell you that you're a failure and that your last success was months ago, why not just get married?
#129
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[10:46:31] <Selatos> D: doctor's office was uncomfortable, but productive i suppose
[10:48:06] <Selatos> two words: prostate exam
[10:48:16] <Selatos> maybe three, surprise prostate exam
#12
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[19:34:58] <Mr_Tel> I'll even dip my balls in marinara sauce just so those bastards can have a taste of home while they're at it!
[19:35:19] <Asa> ...
[19:36:03] <Mr_Tel> c'mon guess what movie that's from!
[19:37:51] <Shado> The Papa John's training video?
#114
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[18:37:11] <Eldrwyn_D`Auvergne> I can almost always tell if a movie doesn't use real dinosaurs
#339
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[09:20:02] <Dante_Erinith> Also, there usually so few people on IRC this time of the day? I remember there being a hell of a lot more a few years ago.
[09:20:29] <.selatos> Current Local Users: 182 Max: 312
[09:20:29] <.selatos> Current Global Users: 190 Max: 320
[09:20:40] <@Thirteen> irc was more active a few years ago
[09:20:44] <.selatos> i suppose it is a bit lower than max, but mostly people just don't like -members
[09:20:53] <.selatos> because of ten, mostly
[09:20:59] * .selatos stares
[09:21:01] <Dante_Erinith> Damn ten.
[09:21:02] <Dante_Erinith> Who's ten?
[09:21:15] <@Thirteen> he goes by Loki nowadays
[09:21:21] * @Thirteen stares
[09:21:22] <Dante_Erinith> Damn ten.
[09:21:25] * Dante_Erinith stares
#215
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[19:15:48] <mikelsewhere> The Jewish kids at my school were always the teachers favourites. No one else got given gold stars.
#99
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[01:55:59] <Squall_Chitose> I'd be like "Hey 16 year old slut, you want an A? You gotta earn it"
[01:56:08] <Squall_Chitose> thats why they won't let me be a teacher.
[01:56:12] <Selatos> "... by getting all of the answers correct on this test."
#252
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[23:07:47] <Keth> beating the emu sounds like it would be australian slang for jacking off
#87
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* ThomasRed is now known as Thomas
* Thomas is now known as ThomasRed
* ThomasRed is now known as Thomas
<Thomas> Sh*t
<Thomas> Itw ont let me do ThomasRed afk
<Thomas> \It
<Thomas> wont
* Thomas is now known as ThomasRed
* ThomasRed is now known as Th{o}masRed
* Th{o}masRed is now known as Tho{masRed}
<Tho{masRed}> That means I am afk
<Tho{masRed}> :O
<Tho{masRed}> F*ck it
<Tho{masRed}> FIt wont let me o my nick the way I want
* Tho{masRed} is now known as ThomasRed_afk
<ThomasRed_afk> better
* ThomasRed_afk is now known as ThomasRed_going
* ThomasRed_going is now known as ThomasRed_afk
<Kun> he must have a 0 in computer operations...
#145
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[17:22:20] <+Kevin||Sleep> I type with my penis
[17:22:33] <@Banquo> In other words, he can barely reach the keyboard.
#306
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[20:01:45] <@Mikel> I put peanut butter on my brown sugar
[20:01:56] <@Mikel> but her name is Sholonda
[20:02:01] <Kilian> Oh my
#36
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[03:01:42] <Bresarr_The_Hutt> Your character is not in the physical condition to perform any actions.
[03:01:49] <Bresarr_The_Hutt> Son of a bitch...the combine just called me fat...
[03:02:04] <Orphaea_Imperium> you're not fat, you're big flubbed
[03:02:32] <Light> You're not fat, you're ugly.
[03:03:11] <Bresarr_The_Hutt> Well...next time I think about slitting my wrists, I'm coming here to get the extra morale boost
#89
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[14:53:00] <Cherokee> i bit myself in a retarded way now there is a piece of meat hanging from my mouth
#103
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[16:31] <Eldrwyn_D`Auvergne> big sadness face, engage
[16:31] <Eldrwyn_D`Auvergne> >: OOOOOO(
#294
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[14:39:12] <blackhole> well, i was almost eaten by a grua if that counts
[14:39:27] <blackhole> but i guess i should add grua means crane
[14:39:35] <.selatos> the bird or the construction vehicle
[14:40:01] <blackhole> construction
[14:40:08] <blackhole> i always preemptively hide from birds
#340
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[21:23:02] <%Lan> Everytime I write a line of code
[21:25:12] <&selatos> do you think about whether i would judge you for it?
[21:28:31] <%Lan> Yes :'(
[21:28:45] <&selatos> perfect :p
#174
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[01:12:34] <Tembre_Fell> pretty sure I have brain damage
[01:12:45] <Loki> pretty sure brain damage is actually a prerequisite for joining this room
[01:15:11] <Raptor-Cardel> How's Tembre?
[01:15:19] <Loki> who are you asking?!
[01:15:22] <Tembre_Fell> I dunno, lemme ask him!
[01:15:35] <Raptor-Cardel> Get back to me when you know! :D
[01:15:40] <Tembre_Fell> say hello to the nice people, Tembre
[01:15:48] <Loki> can we get back to the brain damage thing now
[01:16:00] <Tembre_Fell> I think in a way we never left
[01:16:05] <Geno> a short pencil is better than a long noodle
[01:16:10] <Loki> ..
[01:16:12] <Tembre_Fell> what
#415
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[22:19:24] <Thresk> Guys
[22:19:26] <Thresk> Save ne
[22:19:27] <Thresk> Me
[22:20:07] <Thresk> Save me
[22:21:19] <Thresk> Guys make me feel better
[22:21:42] <Twelve> if guys make you feel better then you should just go find some guys..
#63
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[02:25:42] <Ten> The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware.
#247
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[21:17:49] <TembreFell> my soda exploded, but with my quick reflexes I was able to contain it to my arms, shirt, pants, and the chair I was sitting on. Phew!