Random

#62
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[04:19:28] <Guinar> Claim you have to visit South Dakota on a matter of national security?
[04:19:32] <Light> haha
[04:19:39] <Light> Who visits SD?!
[04:19:43] <Light> especially for national security!
[04:19:45] <Cherokee> Only the dutch.
[04:19:49] <Guinar> Indeed.
[04:20:01] <Guinar> When they're not frothing at the mouth.
[04:20:12] <Cherokee> They're so impressed that we have land above sea level that we don't want to live on, that they just have to see what's wrong with it for themselves.
#163
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<Guinar> Only you would bring a penis to a car fight, Squall.
#409
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[10:57:42] <Baugrems> Kay you just shattered my view of your perfection and robotic nature
[10:58:04] <+Kay_Dallben> Oh that explains why you kept trying to cyber with me - you thought I was a robot.
#377
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[23:31:48] * Loki offers a lindor ball
[23:31:48] <Superman> I don't like you.
[23:31:51] <Superman> That much.
[23:31:54] <Loki> oh
[23:31:56] * Loki retracts lindor ball
[23:32:09] <Superman> ... what the hell, at least give me a KISS
[23:32:13] <Loki> I don't have any!
[23:32:14] <Loki> I only have balls
[23:32:23] <Loki> You will take my balls and like it!
[23:32:29] <Superman> ... fine, I'll take one of your balls
[23:32:33] <Loki> they're creme filled
[23:32:38] <Loki> hold on I already put one in my mouth
[23:32:48] <Superman> But I want one in mine D:
[23:32:56] <Loki> ok this one is really white
[23:33:02] <Superman> kk
[23:33:19] * Loki inserts into Superman's mouth
[23:33:41] * Superman starts
[23:33:48] <Coleman> so you each have a ball in your mouths?
[23:33:50] * Loki finishes
[23:33:55] <dot> This is the worst cyber I've ever read
#337
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[13:25:42] <Altair> and grammatically its good nuff?
[13:25:55] <@Ten> depends on what you consider good enough
[13:26:26] <Altair> I spelled enough as nuff.
#434
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<@Klinger> It took me half the day to get those RM's back to that person :P
<.selatos> not bad
<@Klinger> It would have taken me less if I knew I could just spawn them :P
<@Baugrems> What were you doing? Mining for it
<@Baugrems> ??
<@Sidway> He purchased them from DEEPCORE
<@Sidway> And then flew them all the way back in his hyper 10 Acclamator
#71
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[02:36] <Cherokee> I don't go to the beach anymore. Not since the last time they succeeded in "rescuing" me by pushing me into the water.
[02:37] <Nalah> Who are they?
[02:37] <Seele> Greenpeace.
#57
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[19:13:03] <blackhole> alright, crtl+q quits
[19:13:54] <blackhole> i better won't keep trying to find text styles like crtl+b by trial and error just so i don't find some crtl combo to dcc all my goat porn to all server users
#30
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[15:43:05] <Laz|away> and by the way, what prompted this war in the first place?
[15:44:43] <Keir> Frezt's refusal to sign a treaty and grant Eidola one planet in Kathol space
[15:45:23] <Laz|away> and what did you need a planet in Kathol space for?
[15:45:57] <Keir> raising tauntauns
[15:46:57] <Laz|away> wouldn't one normally do that on Hoth.....in Churba?
[15:47:33] <Keir> We capture them in Hoth, and raise them in Kathol
[15:47:41] <Laz|away> and what happened to that story of a bridge between your territories?
[15:47:53] <Keir> lies concocted by our enemies to discredit us
[15:47:59] <Keir> we are simple tauntaun farmers
#424
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<Loki> I put my pants on like anybody else: when I absolutely have to and not always then
#9
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[16:16:08] <Keir> Post-vasectomy pain syndrome. This is a very rare condition (approximately 1 in 10,000) where you get some dropping of the testicles after surgery (a few millimeters not meters) and an associated chronic pain, like someone continually pulling on your testicles. If this happens your days of boxers shorts are over and you will need good, supportive underwear.
[16:16:09] <Keir> hot
[16:16:50] <Phryss> I like the second parenthetical.
[16:17:05] <Phryss> As though someone would expect his testicles to drop a number of meters.
[16:17:49] <Phryss> "Oh, don't mind that. My scrotum just drags along the floor behind me since my vasectomy. Sometimes I trip over it. >: /"
#404
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[18:20:15] <Loki> I'm a little disappointed, I wanted to go to auschwitz but apparently that will not be an option
[18:20:27] <selatos> why not?
[18:20:53] <Baugrems> Founders are not allowed back on the property
#87
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* ThomasRed is now known as Thomas
* Thomas is now known as ThomasRed
* ThomasRed is now known as Thomas
<Thomas> Sh*t
<Thomas> Itw ont let me do ThomasRed afk
<Thomas> \It
<Thomas> wont
* Thomas is now known as ThomasRed
* ThomasRed is now known as Th{o}masRed
* Th{o}masRed is now known as Tho{masRed}
<Tho{masRed}> That means I am afk
<Tho{masRed}> :O
<Tho{masRed}> F*ck it
<Tho{masRed}> FIt wont let me o my nick the way I want
* Tho{masRed} is now known as ThomasRed_afk
<ThomasRed_afk> better
* ThomasRed_afk is now known as ThomasRed_going
* ThomasRed_going is now known as ThomasRed_afk
<Kun> he must have a 0 in computer operations...
#89
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[14:53:00] <Cherokee> i bit myself in a retarded way now there is a piece of meat hanging from my mouth
#20
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[22:23:21] <blackhole> i think i'm gonna stop drinking one way or another some time soon
[22:32:20] <blackhole> gonna give it a try this oct
[22:32:51] <blackhole> if i stay sober for more than 2 months you owe me a beer
#103
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[16:31] <Eldrwyn_D`Auvergne> big sadness face, engage
[16:31] <Eldrwyn_D`Auvergne> >: OOOOOO(
#432
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[23:07:59] <Loki> Alternate between swiveling both wrists in opposite directions and stroking your hands upward, twisting your wrists when you reach his head as though you are turning a doorknob. Rub your thumb in a tiny figure-eight pattern over his frenelum... Or try the windshield-wiper move; glide your thumb from side to side along the rim where his head begins, then move your thumb up and over the top of the head several times.
[23:08:14] <Loki> yeah im gonna need a diagram here
[23:08:19] <Russ> That is a lot of detail
[23:08:20] <Twelve> yes, turn that doorknob
[23:08:29] <Russ> Either you are copying this straight or you have attempted this
[23:08:57] <Loki> I'm sitting here with my hands making motions that are disappointingly not obscene but look like I'm trying to summon a demon
[23:09:41] <Russ> And you're not getting anything out of this?
[23:09:55] <Loki> Not even a lesser demon
#350
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<@Thirteen> what about dre?
<Kilian_Delmarco> People act like they forgot about dre.
<PRE_Kynnovan> Who is Dre?
<@Thirteen> motherfucker, acting like you forgot about dre
<Kilian_Delmarco> Shame.
<@Thirteen> he's still the same OG, he's just been low key!
<PRE_Kynnovan> Well, in my defense I've only been around for 10 months
#56
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[23:06:56] <Light> It's just words!
[23:07:03] <£> You're just words.
[23:07:06] <Light> )`:
[23:07:21] <Light> I'm only one word technically
[23:07:39] <£> I can think of at least three.
[23:07:48] <Light> asshole
[23:07:52] <£> okay, four
#80
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[11:14] <@Dac_Kain> I paid for a bribe once, 7 days later I got a mail order russian lady at my door. Boy do I need glasses
#252
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[23:07:47] <Keth> beating the emu sounds like it would be australian slang for jacking off
#33
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[15:34:12] <Keir> The most trusted name in violence is now the most trusted name in banking! Eidola investments offers you a guaranteed 400% profit on your investments through one of our dedicated branch managers. Speak to us today, to ensure a brighter future!
[15:34:34] <Cesodevo> ...
[15:34:56] * Keir is now known as Person_in_Crowd
[15:35:01] <Person_in_Crowd> "Hey, these guys look legit!"
#370
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[19:06:04] <Loki> I dont know
[19:06:06] <ETJ> How fast can you talk german.
[19:06:14] <ETJ> We did it out of order.
[19:06:15] <ETJ> Try again.
[19:06:17] <ETJ> How fast can you talk german.
[19:06:25] <Loki> yeah but they go bad so quickly
[19:06:38] <ETJ> You're out of phase.
[19:06:40] <Loki> oops
[19:06:42] <ETJ> Your time machine broke
[19:06:45] <ETJ> Lets do this again
[19:06:47] <Loki> write that down for a few days from now
[19:06:47] <ETJ> How fast can you talk german.
[19:06:51] <Loki> I dont know
[19:06:55] <ETJ> Damn.
#24
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[13:29:59] <Kast_Derrnon> Like they say in the hood... you best protect ya turf, smurf.
[13:30:43] <Chin> somehow that doesn't sound really like a tough guy line
[13:31:06] <Kast_Derrnon> Well then, obviously you nothing of urban culture.
#150
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<|||Ashlyana|||> In California you can always find a party, in Soviet Russia, party can always find you.
#102
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[10:31:33] <Cherokee> I've eaten 14 boxes of Thin Mints...
[10:31:39] <Cherokee> but I haven't gotten any thinner :(
#415
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[22:19:24] <Thresk> Guys
[22:19:26] <Thresk> Save ne
[22:19:27] <Thresk> Me
[22:20:07] <Thresk> Save me
[22:21:19] <Thresk> Guys make me feel better
[22:21:42] <Twelve> if guys make you feel better then you should just go find some guys..
#106
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[16:09] <Pozz_Umgee> if I had a nickel for everytime Ten tried to get me to talk about my penis, I'd have like a buck twenty
[16:09] <.Syn> That's oddly specific
[16:09] <Pozz_Umgee> you don't keep track?
[16:09] <Pozz_Umgee> I'm keeping it in my online rape journal
#407
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[19:18:02] <Loki> home is where you fully understand how the shower works
[19:20:54] <Kez> home is where everyone vacates because you don't properly shower and bathe yourself
[19:21:17] <Loki> That's most rooms, isn't it? Or do I just live everywhere
[19:22:03] <Kez> You may be homeless.
#129
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[10:46:31] <Selatos> D: doctor's office was uncomfortable, but productive i suppose
[10:48:06] <Selatos> two words: prostate exam
[10:48:16] <Selatos> maybe three, surprise prostate exam
#63
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[02:25:42] <Ten> The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware.
#101
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[16:03:50] * Galdayo_Everstar (Mibbit@swc-irc.52l.oeg.s3gket.IP) has joined #swc-members
[16:04:23] <Galdayo_Everstar> Hello
[16:04:30] <Eldrwyn_D`Auvergne> Hallo fair maiden
[16:04:43] <Galdayo_Everstar> I'm a guy
[16:04:51] <Eldrwyn_D`Auvergne> im sorry we're full
#285
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[10:31:15] <@Twelve> Medical procedures performed in ancient Africa before they were performed in Europe include vaccination, autopsy, limb traction and broken bone setting, bullet removal, brain surgery, skin grafting, filling of dental cavities, installation of false teeth, what is now known as Caesarean section, anesthesia and tissue cauterization (3).
[10:31:21] <@Twelve> bullet removal
[10:31:31] <@Twelve> ancient africa was advanced as fuck
[10:31:48] <@Twelve> they were shooting black people long before ferguson
#179
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[09:12:26] <Loki|starkphone> Penis you die of exhaustion or something
[09:12:27] <Loki|starkphone> ..
[09:12:31] <Loki|starkphone> Or if*
[09:13:01] <Loki|starkphone> I don't have toilette syndrome
[09:13:07] <Loki|starkphone> Yeah my phone don't know that word
#212
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<blackhole> good. cat's back, i can poop again
<Squall_Chitose> was he hogging the litter box?
#288
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[19:36:37] <Brand> My dad gave me a birthday card that was signed 'Happy Birthday, please recycling this card, love pop'
[19:37:04] <Brand> So i crossed out Birthday and wrote 'x-mas' and crossed out Pop and wrote 'son'
#1
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[04:30:00] <Ran> Any Dungeon Master's or D&D/RPG players lurking around?
[04:30:22] <@Ten> syn is a pro dungeon master
[04:30:35] <.Loki> different kind of dungeon
#210
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[22:44:21] <Mikel> Electronic Exercise 2-C: Proceeds and Such
[22:44:25] <Mikel> "and Such"!?!?
[22:44:31] <Mikel> the fuck kind of textbook is this
[22:44:37] <Mikel> "like, the law, or whatever"
#395
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< blackhole> iirc, simplified chinese appears too simplified, though... like empty boxes
#214
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[00:38:58] <blackhole> good news everyone. i can communicate with my cat via morse farting
#111
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[22:54:21] * Wool (soan@swc-irc.7rf.nm9.rjksk9.IP) has joined #anime
[22:54:25] * Cherokee (tcherokee77@swc-irc.00v.p8l.ulteai.IP) has joined #anime
[22:54:26] <Cherokee> WOOL
[22:54:28] <Wool> CHEROKEE
[22:54:29] <Cherokee> WOOL
[22:54:31] <Wool> CHEROKEE
[22:54:33] <Cherokee> WOOL WOOL WOOL WOOL WOOL
[22:54:35] <Wool> CHEROKEE CHEROKEE CHEROKEE CHEROKEE CHEROKEE
[22:54:37] <Cherokee> DO THE WOOLY BULLY
[22:54:38] <Cherokee> DO IT
[22:54:39] * Wool DOES IT
[22:54:40] <Cherokee> YATAA
[22:54:42] * Cherokee (tcherokee77@swc-irc.00v.p8l.ulteai.IP) has left #anime
[22:54:45] <Wool> big success
[22:54:54] <Wool> back to work
[22:54:59] * Wool (soan@swc-irc.7rf.nm9.rjksk9.IP) has left #anime
[22:55:54] <Kilian> o_o
#458
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<Mikel> yeah my surface is literally as thin as my Galaxy S6
<Mikel> 2 pounds I think
<Jic> pounds are a measure of force, not thinness
<Rawth> He means how many hammer pounds it can survive
#40
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[13:45:43] <Kevin> How cold does it generally get there in the winter?
[13:45:54] <Skye_Varn> -20 to -30 up here
[13:46:12] <Skye_Varn> -35 if you're really lucky
[13:46:39] <Kevin> I used to live in New York, and it would easily get to single digits F with no wind chill during the winter
[13:46:50] <Ten> we're not talking F!
[13:46:53] <Kevin> So?
[13:46:55] <Skye_Varn> We're talking C
[13:47:01] <Ten> so you can F off
#159
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[16:59:14] <.Loki|starkphone> I don't support spousal abuse
[16:59:28] <.Loki|starkphone> I had a bad experience with a horse
#468
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[21:17:23] <Loki> I'm pretty sure I'm just utterly incapable of eating spaghetti without getting more of it on my chin than into my mouth.
[21:17:58] <Squall_Chitose> funnest part of eatin' sketti!
[21:18:20] <Squall_Chitose> just slam your face down into a bowl and suck your way to freedom.
[21:18:37] <Loki> Now explain how to eat spaghetti, Squall!
[21:18:52] <Squall_Chitose> much the same way, but with less dicks.
#400
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< blackhole> i don't even know what the avian flu feels like because the separatist catalonains are keeping it all for themselves
#342
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[18:27:39] <%blackhole> that was some nice interracial homoerotic historical dream
[18:29:30] <DK> stop dreaming with hutts
[18:31:15] <%blackhole> it did take place in butt space
[18:33:13] <DK> :O
[18:33:19] <DK> Nal Butta?
[18:42:08] <%blackhole> 55 days at Nal Butta
[18:42:39] <%blackhole> it was a strange setting for a dream... i'm not even sure if i ever finished watching that (at pekin) movie
[18:42:59] <%blackhole> peking*
[18:50:08] <%blackhole> so anyway, the awkward moment was when i was exploring a black soldier's body for leechs in an oriental sauna in the middle of a desert town
[18:50:30] <Keth> well did you find any
[18:56:01] <%blackhole> yea! \o/
[18:56:23] <%blackhole> and i pretty much woke up there, which was sad
[18:56:31] <%blackhole> it was being a great adventure before the leeches check up
#190
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[10:39:33] <Luke_Whitelock> you said park not me
[10:39:40] <Loki> If I can drive 2 hours you can walk 10 minutes.
[10:40:16] <Luke_Whitelock> I can't go into town that why I said here
[10:40:33] <Loki> ..Why not?
[10:40:39] <Squall_Chitose> Your mommy won't let you leave?
[10:40:40] <Varlathotep> Because his family that surprised him is there!
[10:40:44] <Varlathotep> Pay attention Loki!
[10:40:47] <Ten> gps anklet tracker
[10:40:48] <Luke_Whitelock> last time I did I was close to being hit by a truck
[10:40:53] <Ten> ...
[10:40:56] <Loki> hahah
[10:41:10] <Ten> and there was a black cat
[10:41:15] <Ten> and it rained
[10:41:32] <Luke_Whitelock> they were on the side walk
[10:41:40] <Loki> oh no now you can never go on the sidewalk again
[10:42:06] <Luke_Whitelock> yes so I can't go into town
[10:42:11] <Loki> not ever again
[10:42:14] <Loki> you're stuck inside forever
[10:42:23] <Luke_Whitelock> yes
[10:42:26] <Ten> he can go in the yard
[10:42:28] <Ten> no trucks there
[10:42:32] <Varlathotep> You never know.
[10:42:38] <Varlathotep> Those fire engines are wild man.
[10:42:52] <Loki> man its a good thing you live in the middle of nowhere so you can hide from all of the scary things in the world like people and cars and sunlight
[10:43:04] <Loki> and very small rocks
[10:47:11] <Luke_Whitelock> just because you like to be hit by cars don't mean I want to
[10:47:32] <Loki> I have eyes, so like, usually I look at the street to make sure I'm not stepping in front of one
[10:47:35] <Loki> maybe you should try that
[10:47:51] <Loki> life advice right here, cars are not ants, you can actually see them coming
[10:48:10] <Luke_Whitelock> I don't walk on the road loki
[10:48:16] <Loki> You dont walk at all from the sounds of it
[10:48:22] <Squall_Chitose> Dude, even chickens cross the road.
#333
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[13:56:24] <Dwajon__Tuckcrac> Idoit
[13:56:47] * Dwajon__Tuckcrac stairs at the idiot
#84
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[23:02] <Clarr> I do, but first admit you're talking out of your ass
[23:02] <Clarr> go on, I'm waiting
[23:02] <Bane> Is that physically possible?
[23:03] <Keir> I admit that I am talking out of my ass, though it seems my ass has outwitted you