Random

#345
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[03:19:15] <Loki> ten aftershocks so far
[03:19:47] <Ten> are you saying I'm fat
[03:21:56] <Loki> I'm saying you rocked my world for at least a minute and a half, with several breaks in the middle
[03:23:20] <Ten> that's what I'm known for
[03:23:25] <Ten> a minute and a half with several breaks
#242
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[11:49:01] <Squall_Chitose> I asked my friend if his mom was a sewer....
[11:49:05] <Squall_Chitose> I meant somebody who sews.
#147
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[12:46:00] <+Samuel_York> I downloaded a movie for my dad, 28 weeks later, and he's complaining that the captions are in French
[12:47:19] <+Hal_Kinda_Away> Bonjour. Je m'appelle Zombie. Vous est petit dejeuner, oui?
[12:47:40] <Ji`vani> Cerveaux! Cerveaux!
#132
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[22:53:42] <Cherokee> if i had a dollar for every time someone called me ugly , id be broke because im perfect, lol later losers
[22:53:45] * Cherokee (tcherokee77@HULK) has left #swc-members
#8
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[17:27:06] <Phryss> Oh!
[17:27:07] <Phryss> Keir!
[17:27:15] <Phryss> I saw a girl today that reminded me of you.
[17:27:20] <Keir|NEW-GNS|Crap> !
[17:27:26] <Phryss> She had these ice packs on her shoulders
[17:27:32] <Keir|NEW-GNS|Crap> ^.-
[17:27:42] <Phryss> And they were being held in place by, like, saran wrap.
[17:27:49] <Keir|NEW-GNS|Crap> ...
[17:28:08] <Phryss> And the saran wrap wrapped tightly around her chest so her boobs were all squashed and invisible.
[17:28:15] <Phryss> The end.
#410
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<@Loki-cell> She only plays AI mode in heroes of the storm so she's not worth my time
#306
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[20:01:45] <@Mikel> I put peanut butter on my brown sugar
[20:01:56] <@Mikel> but her name is Sholonda
[20:02:01] <Kilian> Oh my
#189
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[11:22:15] <Loki> hello how can we help you
[11:22:46] <Luke_Whitelock> did you send me mail I get maill with no name ?
[11:24:13] <Luke_Whitelock> I can't find out who it is
[11:24:19] <Jevon> screenshot it
[11:24:52] <Loki> are you talking about a darkness message
[11:25:39] <Luke_Whitelock> yes
[11:25:54] <Jevon> THere has to be a name, as there are no anonymous messages
[11:25:56] <Luke_Whitelock> I can't do screenshot
[11:26:03] <Jevon> Why not
[11:26:17] <Luke_Whitelock> its off
[11:26:25] <Jevon> WHats off
[11:26:45] <Luke_Whitelock> screenshot you can have it off
#63
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[02:25:42] <Ten> The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware.
#289
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[08:23:48] <Deric_Adams> wtf are you reading?
[08:24:04] <@Superman> nothing go away
[08:24:10] <Deric_Adams> guys, erek is reading 50 shades of grey
[08:24:17] <Deric_Adams> lets all laugh and point at him
[08:24:41] <@Superman> 50 Shades of Grey is a book not a series
[08:24:44] <@Superman> I think
[08:24:46] <@Superman> To google!
[08:24:48] <Deric_Adams> wrong
[08:24:53] <Deric_Adams> there is like 3 books
[08:25:10] <@Superman> ew
[08:25:17] <@Superman> there are three-...
[08:25:24] <@Superman> How'd you know that...
[08:26:06] <Deric_Adams> I um
[08:26:08] <Deric_Adams> uhh
[08:26:13] <Deric_Adams> gotta go!
[08:26:15] * Quits: Deric_Adams (Deric_Adam@swc-irc.cp2.4m6.k0aau8.IP) (Quit: <DA->I saw Srota today, suicide sounds very good right now)
#54
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[03:02:42] <Thirteen> the mosquito I whacked out of the sky with a sponge is drunk walking toward me
[03:03:08] <Thirteen> and no, that's not a fall out boy song title
#50
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[15:41:32] <Thirteen> well, I skipped my chemical romance
[15:42:42] <Jenos> Skipping's for girls or boxers. Are you a girl or a boxer?
[15:42:57] <Mikel> I wear boxers, does that count?
[15:43:01] <Light> Only if you're a girl.
[15:43:06] <Thirteen> I dated a girl boxer once
[15:43:13] <Light> Like, a female dog?
[15:43:23] <Thirteen> no, like a human female that boxes
[15:43:34] <Jenos> worked in a warehouse?
#215
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[19:15:48] <mikelsewhere> The Jewish kids at my school were always the teachers favourites. No one else got given gold stars.
#44
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[03:17:23] <Light> That's pretty much my favorite part of SWC. Something completely insignificant and random occurs and e-people start psychologically profiling you.
[03:17:46] <Pozz> it's phrases like that that get you branded a corpse-banger
[03:17:48] <Sleek> yeah, i agree with the rapist
#77
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[13:51] * Veynom is Sim Master.
[13:51] * ChanServ sets mode: +o Veynom
[13:52] <Veynom> Holy shit, 1616 emails, what did you do guys !!!
[13:53] <Kyle> um there is an email from orion you should look at Vey
[13:53] <Togan> it's hidden within those 1616 mails
#166
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[18:04:47] <mikel> What is the difference between a woman and a man
[18:04:50] <mikel> er
[18:04:55] <mikel> What is the difference between a wombat and a man
[18:04:58] <Thor> ...
#375
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[22:40:03] <blackhole> when i was a child, i had a lazy eye but then it spreaded to my whole person. that's why i'm so lazy now
#222
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<@Twelve> did you just compare my anus to hitler?!
<+Loki> I .. didn't not compare your anus to hitler
<@Twelve> bloody heil, that pisses me off
<+Loki> ann frankly you shouldn't stand for it
<@Twelve> I won't, I'm fuhrious
<+Loki> I did nazi that coming
<@Twelve> nazi jokes are reich up your alley, eh
<+Loki> they're hitlerious!
<@Twelve> I can only gas at the amount of time you spend thinking these up
<+Loki> I can do it from mein kampfy bed
<@Twelve> well, this won't be goring anywhere productive
<+Loki> Don't lie, you know you goebbel these up
<@Twelve> I do, but I don't want jew to burn yourself out
<+Loki> Relax, I know dietrich to all of this. God of cryptic lols and all
<@Twelve> I suppose you ARE the reich person for this job
<+Loki> I will not stand führ you recycling your previous puns!
<@Twelve> what puns?! I do nazi what jew are talking about
* Loki serenades Ten with "don't jewish your boyfriend was hot like me"
<@Twelve> jew should probably gestappo listening to that pop music, step out of your kampfort zone once in a while
<+Loki> Auschwitz, I forgot to eat again. I'm gonna go make some luftwaffles. Guess I don't need the oven for that
#403
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[18:03:06] <@Superman> I regularly regret letting people know I have freetime within moments of hitting send
[18:03:57] <.selatos> oh perfect you have some free time
[18:04:05] <.selatos> i need you to collate 1000 information packets for this business meeting
[18:04:13] <.selatos> they're in a heap, in random order, in the copy room
[18:05:28] <@Superman> do I get CPs?
[18:05:55] <.selatos> sure same amount as i pay for everything else you do
[18:07:07] <@Superman> ...touché...
#92
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[13:18] <Light> oh, and don't handle jalapeno peppers then touch your asshole.
[13:19] <Crog> why
[13:19] <Light> it hurts
[13:19] <Crog> why
[13:19] <Squall_Chitose> BURNS SO BAD
[13:19] <Teyacapan> yes, don't handle peppers with your asshole
#124
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[04:15:29] <dot> Captcha read "How are you" and I typed good >_<
#401
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[23:34:42] <Loki> Speaking of creepy animal behaviors, Cherokee
[23:34:57] <Loki> My dog sometimes stands right next to my chair (like right now) and stares at the same spot of blank white wall (like right now)
[23:35:08] <Loki> just stands there for several minutes staring, his ears pricked
[23:35:14] <Loki> sometimes he ventures slowly closer and sniffs a little
[23:35:17] <Ten> oh, I have that problem in morrowind
[23:35:19] <Loki> sometimes he just stares
[23:35:31] <Ten> it occurs when there isn't an AI path defined
[23:35:44] <Ten> just adjust your room's pathing and it'll be fine
#184
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[20:14] <Squall_Chitose> I only let people in my clan that I like.
[20:14] <Squall_Chitose> :D
[20:15] <Squall_Chitose> except deric, he got in on sexual talent.
[20:15] <DA> I give good head
[20:15] <Varlathotep> It's true, he does.
[20:15] <Varlathotep> Squall doesn't know this but I was in the closet as Deric gave him head.
[20:16] <DA> oh yeah
[20:16] <Varlathotep> I will say it was quite glorious.
[20:16] <DA> I can suck a garden hose through golfball
[20:16] <DA> wait
[20:16] <DA> i said that wrong
[20:16] <Varlathotep> ...
[20:16] <Uli> LOL
[20:16] <Varlathotep> That is some sucking talent
[20:16] <DA> or did I?
[20:16] <Uli> I...
[20:16] <Samantha_Umbra> :o
[20:17] <Varlathotep> If you managed to such a hose through a solid object that is fucking impressive.
[20:17] <DA> I can't breath right now im laughing so hard
[20:17] <Varlathotep> Someone has to quote that >.>
[20:17] <.Loki|starkphone> That's not all that's hard
#14
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[23:50:43] <Phryss> My family has this odd habit of not distinguishing between inlaws and...outlaws.
#27
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[18:31:19] <blackhole> ya, cher leaves his impronta deep in me
[18:32:22] <Cherokee> I left what in you?! o_O
[18:33:32] <blackhole> aight, sometimes i should use the dictionary
[18:33:42] <blackhole> specially when it's followed by stuff like 'deep in me'
#229
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[13:46:14] <.Loki-> Don't be jealous of the golden nightmare
[13:46:19] <.Loki-> And my nocturnal assassin
[13:46:26] * .Loki- urinates aggressively
[13:46:28] <.Loki-> ..
[13:46:43] <.Loki-> My phone is automatically filling in "aggressively" after I urinate
[13:46:45] <.Loki-> Sweet
#305
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[14:07:31] <.selatos> good news mikel
[14:07:36] * Ming (Ming@swc-irc.g50.hj7.njvhe5.IP) has joined #swc-members
[14:07:42] <.selatos> taint checking is a standard part of software development; you're clearly in the wrong profession
[14:08:03] * Ming (Ming@swc-irc.g50.hj7.njvhe5.IP) has left #swc-members ("")
#380
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[00:28:28] <Loki> whoa whoa dont go spreading around to everyone that I'd fuck literally anyone
[00:29:11] <Kez> If you didnt want ppl thinking that then you shouldnt be showing up at swap meets with yours hands full of booty
[00:29:28] <Loki> I showed up with my hands almost empty, but then people kept putting things in them, like drinks, and their asses
[00:29:52] <Kez> I saw plenty of grabbing Syn
[00:29:55] <Kez> you little cheater
[00:30:04] <Loki> It's not cheating if I lie about it and pretend like it didn't happen
[00:30:27] <Kez> Man, that just hits every form of corruption and rules breaking this game has seen
[00:30:32] <Loki> I like to be efficient
#400
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< blackhole> i don't even know what the avian flu feels like because the separatist catalonains are keeping it all for themselves
#43
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[00:03:00] <Maw|BUSY-BRB> The other day even in southern Alberta there are hardly any I think I saw 5 two days ago... and -40 for 2 weeks is not "cool" -20 is cool :P
[00:04:02] <Cherokee> Your choice in structuring that sentence leads me to make the preliminary diagnosis that you've recently suffered a stroke.
#40
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[13:45:43] <Kevin> How cold does it generally get there in the winter?
[13:45:54] <Skye_Varn> -20 to -30 up here
[13:46:12] <Skye_Varn> -35 if you're really lucky
[13:46:39] <Kevin> I used to live in New York, and it would easily get to single digits F with no wind chill during the winter
[13:46:50] <Ten> we're not talking F!
[13:46:53] <Kevin> So?
[13:46:55] <Skye_Varn> We're talking C
[13:47:01] <Ten> so you can F off
#129
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[10:46:31] <Selatos> D: doctor's office was uncomfortable, but productive i suppose
[10:48:06] <Selatos> two words: prostate exam
[10:48:16] <Selatos> maybe three, surprise prostate exam
#404
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[18:20:15] <Loki> I'm a little disappointed, I wanted to go to auschwitz but apparently that will not be an option
[18:20:27] <selatos> why not?
[18:20:53] <Baugrems> Founders are not allowed back on the property
#409
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[10:57:42] <Baugrems> Kay you just shattered my view of your perfection and robotic nature
[10:58:04] <+Kay_Dallben> Oh that explains why you kept trying to cyber with me - you thought I was a robot.
#131
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[23:12:12] <Selatos> var why are you being emo
[23:12:35] <Varfarius> I've got the heart break blues selatos. Sadly, it's not from my girlfriend.
[23:12:53] <Varfarius> Is it bad I feel more betrayed by a server than my own girlfriend when she won't put out?!
[23:13:24] <Selatos> if your server isn't putting out, i feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems, but a misconfig ain't one
#108
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[07:46:47] <blackhole> i can't eat a whole pie in a day! it's like 50cmx50cm big
[07:51:55] <Cherokee> thats crazy , no one measures things in cm
[07:52:00] <Cherokee> how many inches is?
[07:56:50] <blackhole> not sure. inches are short enough to accumulate too much error
[07:56:57] <blackhole> but in cocks should be like 3
[07:57:04] <Syn> wait what
[07:58:08] <Cherokee> ..
[07:58:16] <Syn> cocks is now a unit of measurement
[07:58:27] <Cherokee> what's the cock length?!
[07:58:30] <blackhole> i work with what i have!
[07:58:42] <Cherokee> WHY ARE YOU MEASURING PIES WITH YOUR COCK
[07:58:53] <blackhole> i swear i tried to measure it with my inches but it looked inaccurate
[07:58:56] <Cherokee> PEOPLE HAVE TO EAT THAT
[07:58:58] <blackhole> haha
[07:59:04] <blackhole> i'm not measuring depth!
#7
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[21:19] <Mikel> Want a secure place to keep that monthly paycheck? Need a loan? Want a bank built in that new city of yours? Think Universal Network Bank for all your banking needs! Visit #cmg-unb .
[21:20] <Keir> I want a loan! :D
[21:20] <Keir> As much money as I can get on no collateral :D
[21:21] <Mikel> What is cullatoral?
[21:21] <Keir> that's my type of bank!
#97
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[16:15:10] <Quetzalxochitl> 17. The idea of verbally dominating/humiliating (name calling, dictating orders, etc.) during sexual activity is exciting to me
[16:15:31] <Quetzalxochitl> sure, but I always hit a writer's block after the first "you like it, slut"
[16:16:10] <Quetzalxochitl> GIMME ALL YO YENS YIP YIP YAP
#10
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[19:02:00] <Keir|MST3K> Squall
[19:02:13] <Squall_Chitose> yes?
[19:02:26] <Keir|MST3K> If you get shot in Iraq, promise me you'll scream either "Fucking camping bitch!" or "omg, he rolled a natural 20!" ?
#175
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[15:22:05] <Dac> oh I cant type but if you like that better then smootciekins we can run with it
[15:23:42] * Quits: Dac (Dac@swc-irc.5af.m34.j8fubj.IP) (Connection closed)
[15:23:54] <.Loki|starkphone> Dad I will definitely take the pet name loke over smoochiekins
#169
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[16:24:13] <minty_sadness> this is bullshit
[16:24:37] <minty_sadness> if you can't launch bottle rockets from someone's anus then what's the fucking point of pledging to a fraternity?
#52
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[14:54:01] * EthanW tries to set chin on fire
[14:54:21] * Chin is made out of asbestos
[14:54:27] * Chin hugs Ethan
[14:54:39] <Chin> DIE!
[14:54:40] <EthanW> :'(
[14:54:43] <Chin> in 30 years or so!
#32
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[23:43:27] * Naast has learned to stop clicking Keir's links now
[23:44:51] <Samuel_Flagg> I think I learned to not click on Keirs pictures back in about '02?
[23:45:31] <Keir> pfft, the hate
[23:45:38] <Meesis_Meeso> of???
[23:45:55] <Keir> fecal matter molded into interesting shapes with cookie cutters, in Flagg's case
#138
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[14:25:31] <CPL_Goerke> I'm in A-school for the Navy, I got out of boot camp about 2 days ago
[14:25:43] <Deric_Adams> sweet
[14:25:50] <Deric_Adams> what job?
[14:27:48] <CPL_Goerke> Cryptology
[14:28:14] <Mesh`la> that's so fun, I love studying Crypts
#102
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[10:31:33] <Cherokee> I've eaten 14 boxes of Thin Mints...
[10:31:39] <Cherokee> but I haven't gotten any thinner :(
#41
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[22:44:51] <Away> We don't need Combat!
[22:45:00] <Away> SWCoders trading card game!
[22:45:37] <Sin> The Dreighton Card awards your side with an unfair advantage
[22:45:58] <Sin> The Syn card removes any card in play from the game >.>
[22:46:11] <Alex_Track> lol
[22:46:17] <Alex_Track> what about the Alex Card?
[22:46:27] <Sin> -5 Charisma
#399
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[19:34:01] <Arjuna> Genital jousting is on sale, and my grandma gave me a card for christmas with steam wallet money
[19:34:12] <Arjuna> I... think she just bought me this game....
#178
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[10:23:59] <@Ten> go cry your white tears elsewhere
[10:24:35] <.Loki|starkphone> My tears aren't white, you are thinking of my semen
#342
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[18:27:39] <%blackhole> that was some nice interracial homoerotic historical dream
[18:29:30] <DK> stop dreaming with hutts
[18:31:15] <%blackhole> it did take place in butt space
[18:33:13] <DK> :O
[18:33:19] <DK> Nal Butta?
[18:42:08] <%blackhole> 55 days at Nal Butta
[18:42:39] <%blackhole> it was a strange setting for a dream... i'm not even sure if i ever finished watching that (at pekin) movie
[18:42:59] <%blackhole> peking*
[18:50:08] <%blackhole> so anyway, the awkward moment was when i was exploring a black soldier's body for leechs in an oriental sauna in the middle of a desert town
[18:50:30] <Keth> well did you find any
[18:56:01] <%blackhole> yea! \o/
[18:56:23] <%blackhole> and i pretty much woke up there, which was sad
[18:56:31] <%blackhole> it was being a great adventure before the leeches check up
#381
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[12:34:41] <@Thirteen> fetishism of turdkin is problematic