Random

#409
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[10:57:42] <Baugrems> Kay you just shattered my view of your perfection and robotic nature
[10:58:04] <+Kay_Dallben> Oh that explains why you kept trying to cyber with me - you thought I was a robot.
#294
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[14:39:12] <blackhole> well, i was almost eaten by a grua if that counts
[14:39:27] <blackhole> but i guess i should add grua means crane
[14:39:35] <.selatos> the bird or the construction vehicle
[14:40:01] <blackhole> construction
[14:40:08] <blackhole> i always preemptively hide from birds
#295
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[17:09:55] <Keth> So you're saying that there are currently no laws in elysia?
[17:10:24] <Loki|Arrow> well it's called elysia for a reason, of course there are no laws
[17:10:36] <Dagaro> But it has a King?
[17:10:43] <Loki|Arrow> i didn't vote for him
[17:11:01] <Dagaro> He was chosen by the Lady of the Maw
[17:11:27] <Rev[a]n> Some fancy tart throwing swords out a blackhole is no basis for a government
#374
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[23:17:22] <Ten> voldemort would've had a lot fewer problems if he wasn't such an asshole #SoRelatable
#89
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[14:53:00] <Cherokee> i bit myself in a retarded way now there is a piece of meat hanging from my mouth
#199
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[23:13:45] <Ten> well, I always say the macklemore the macklemerrier
#121
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(Kyle Rainer, who recently returned from a multi-year hiatus from SWC..)
[15:18:48] <Zhao> I feel like everyone should have me on colored in their address book
[15:18:54] <Zhao> Everything I say is super important
[15:20:03] * Kyle|Away is now known as Kyle
[15:20:22] <Kyle> somehow your ego has grown since I left
[15:20:37] <Jevon> Its had a long time to grow
[15:20:43] <Loki> I've been a good influence
[15:20:58] <Kyle> I mean in the like 40 minutes I was away
#301
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<Minty_Cream> dress shirts never go out of fashion
<Loki> http://puu.sh/gDg13/104f7d4f59.jpg THIS WAS A DRESS SHIRT ONCE
<Loki> IT WENT OUT OF FASHION
<Loki> QED.
<Chermobyl> It was never.
<Loki> well then what the fuck did i wear it to my uncle's funeral for
<Chermobyl> Never end a sentence with a preposition
<Loki> well then what the fuck did i wear it to my uncle's funeral for, bitch
#113
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[01:35:25] <G`no> If the days comes when we all go to prison for downloading music 'illegally', I hope they seperate us by genre.
[02:22:59] <G`no> The first two guys thought SUperman was a bird or a plane... why the heck were they excited?
[02:48:48] <G`no> I;m going to district 9 and 3 quarters.
[16:49:25] <G`no> If you took all the Twilight fans and laid them end to end around the equator, a lot of them would drown, get run over, or eaten by lions, so it's a really good idea.
[17:45:39] <G`no> Whenever a bird craps on my car, I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my porch to let them know what I'm capable of.
[21:59:04] <G`no> I hate it when I'm singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong
[00:06:37] <G`no> If you take a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back?
[00:06:43] <G`no> I NEED AN ANSWER MUCH FASTER!!!
[20:01:13] <G`no> i can't wait to go back to england and open a time capsule i buried when i was 10
[20:01:25] <G`no> i wanna see how big my puppy got
[20:13:30] <G`no> Ugh, I hate bragging about my financial status, but I have to say, my credit card company keeps calling me to tell me my balance is outstanding!
#38
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[18:16:40] <Xavian> is self enslavery allowable?
[18:18:52] <£> That isn't even a word, let alone a question that's specific enough to be answerable. >: /
[18:24:35] <Xavian> you know what I mean :P
[18:24:41] <Xavian> can I enslave myself
[18:26:10] <Xavian> hmm
[18:30:35] <£> I have no idea what you mean.
[18:30:46] <Xavian> I mean
[18:30:49] <Xavian> Sell myself
[18:30:50] <Xavian> :D
[18:31:04] <£> It sounds more like a philosophical question than a tech support one.
[18:31:09] <£> Sell yourself in what way?
[18:31:15] <Xavian> like
[18:31:19] <Xavian> ok
[18:31:27] <Xavian> you know NPCs?
[18:31:30] <Xavian> like that
[18:31:37] <Xavian> but I cost money!
[18:31:43] <Xavian> its foolproof
[18:31:52] <Xavian> seriously though
[18:31:59] <Xavian> its hard to explain
[18:32:02] <Xavian> hmmm
[18:32:05] <Xavian> aha
[18:32:07] <Xavian> its like
[18:32:09] <Xavian> labour
[18:32:15] <Xavian> but they have to pay
[18:32:23] <Xavian> but it has rp options
[18:32:54] <£> So...you want a job.
#160
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[12:00:11] <Var> I see you're still pretending that your phone adds a period after words, Primun.
[12:01:09] <Primun> I turned off all autocorrect shit
[12:01:23] <Var> Then how is that period getting in there?!
[12:01:46] <Primun> Because the period is right beside the fucjing period button for fucks sake.
[12:01:52] <Primun> Wait
[12:01:53] <Primun> What
[12:01:56] <Primun> Hold on
#244
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[11:54:02] <Deric_Adams> who else is playing?
[11:56:57] * Kelmanis_Vaan (Kelmanis@super.soldier) has joined #SWC-Members
[11:57:09] <Clark_Kent> Uh
[11:57:15] <Clark_Kent> Me and three random dudes
[11:57:22] <Kelmanis_Vaan> Go on.
[11:57:34] <Kelmanis_Vaan> Is this a story or request?
#51
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[15:44:11] <Mikel> I wear boxer-briefs so you can see the outline of my massive package
[15:44:24] <Jenos> Mikel, you're a postman?
[15:44:25] <Thirteen> the spare socks?
[15:44:47] <Thirteen> it was a good idea, but really, four socks?
[15:44:50] <Mikel> The best 4 inches you've ever seen, baby
[15:45:02] <Mikel> I mean... more than that?
#184
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[20:14] <Squall_Chitose> I only let people in my clan that I like.
[20:14] <Squall_Chitose> :D
[20:15] <Squall_Chitose> except deric, he got in on sexual talent.
[20:15] <DA> I give good head
[20:15] <Varlathotep> It's true, he does.
[20:15] <Varlathotep> Squall doesn't know this but I was in the closet as Deric gave him head.
[20:16] <DA> oh yeah
[20:16] <Varlathotep> I will say it was quite glorious.
[20:16] <DA> I can suck a garden hose through golfball
[20:16] <DA> wait
[20:16] <DA> i said that wrong
[20:16] <Varlathotep> ...
[20:16] <Uli> LOL
[20:16] <Varlathotep> That is some sucking talent
[20:16] <DA> or did I?
[20:16] <Uli> I...
[20:16] <Samantha_Umbra> :o
[20:17] <Varlathotep> If you managed to such a hose through a solid object that is fucking impressive.
[20:17] <DA> I can't breath right now im laughing so hard
[20:17] <Varlathotep> Someone has to quote that >.>
[20:17] <.Loki|starkphone> That's not all that's hard
#49
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[20:10:43] <Cherokee> Melik, does your fiancee know about your swine clap?
[20:11:09] <Squall_Chitose> I have bovine chlamydia.
[20:15:37] <Melik_Tafari> no but you can suck your mother and find out if she has it
[20:16:06] <Cherokee> that makes no sense
[20:17:09] <Melik_Tafari> in deh islands where i live, it would be said as "suck ur mumma ras hole"... is that better?
[20:21:02] <Cherokee> no, but if you're implying my mother has pet rats in holes in the wall, its quite true. We keep them there to deter visitors who want to use the guest room, exercise room, home theater, game room, great room, captains roost, or poolside cabana deck.
#41
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[22:44:51] <Away> We don't need Combat!
[22:45:00] <Away> SWCoders trading card game!
[22:45:37] <Sin> The Dreighton Card awards your side with an unfair advantage
[22:45:58] <Sin> The Syn card removes any card in play from the game >.>
[22:46:11] <Alex_Track> lol
[22:46:17] <Alex_Track> what about the Alex Card?
[22:46:27] <Sin> -5 Charisma
#305
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[14:07:31] <.selatos> good news mikel
[14:07:36] * Ming (Ming@swc-irc.g50.hj7.njvhe5.IP) has joined #swc-members
[14:07:42] <.selatos> taint checking is a standard part of software development; you're clearly in the wrong profession
[14:08:03] * Ming (Ming@swc-irc.g50.hj7.njvhe5.IP) has left #swc-members ("")
#382
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[23:49:21] <Kivan_Hamner> Twas the night before Christmas and all throughout the house
[23:49:29] <Kivan_Hamner> the AC was blowing, cause I live in the South
#445
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[17:18:07] <swcdiscord1> <Ho Ho Honest Jic> listen, I'm not going to drive across america to go to my godmothers house just whip out my dick in front of her dog for scale
#288
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[19:36:37] <Brand> My dad gave me a birthday card that was signed 'Happy Birthday, please recycling this card, love pop'
[19:37:04] <Brand> So i crossed out Birthday and wrote 'x-mas' and crossed out Pop and wrote 'son'
#186
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<DA> haha pornhub tweeted "Don't try and upload the superbowl game, we don't allow rape"
<Azarin> Ahahahaha
<@Superman> haha
<Squall_Chitose> I'm disturbed that you follow pornhub on twitter, Deric.
<Squall_Chitose> Disturbed, but not surprised.
#100
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[02:49:24] <Dan_Goulet> how does voice work?
[02:49:30] <Dan_Goulet> dont see a button or anything
[02:49:42] <Ten> http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_do_people_make_sound
#347
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[11:03] <@Twelve> It's hard to parse incoming tactical information when someone is reading you literotica featuring your mother
#98
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[05:02:41] <blackhole> why do i know how to spell cthulhu and not jirafee?
#107
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[13:40:47] <blackhole> still, it would be cool to be up to the communication level :p
[14:00:00] <blackhole> hehe, drunken labia wrong, drunken loquacity right
[14:00:07] <Syn> ..
[14:00:07] <blackhole> it's good i use the dictionary sometimes before saying something
[14:00:40] <blackhole> i assumed labia refered to the lips like in spanish
[14:00:48] <Syn> hahaha
[14:00:54] <blackhole> as used to mean verbosity when talking
[14:01:02] <blackhole> but no
[14:01:52] * blackhole removes "prayse my huge drunken labia" from his fb status >.<
#3
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[15:38:27] <Nalah> My mother marks the English national exams. She was marking one creative writing paper today, and she got to the bottom of the page of one that read "the doctor knelt down beside her and raped her" - she turned the page and it finished "leg in a bandage". Hehe.
#410
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<@Loki-cell> She only plays AI mode in heroes of the storm so she's not worth my time
#212
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<blackhole> good. cat's back, i can poop again
<Squall_Chitose> was he hogging the litter box?
#147
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[12:46:00] <+Samuel_York> I downloaded a movie for my dad, 28 weeks later, and he's complaining that the captions are in French
[12:47:19] <+Hal_Kinda_Away> Bonjour. Je m'appelle Zombie. Vous est petit dejeuner, oui?
[12:47:40] <Ji`vani> Cerveaux! Cerveaux!
#248
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[00:47:36] <blackhole> oh, ukrania dissolved the gov too
[00:48:10] <blackhole> man, the re-enablement of member requirements is screwing everyone
#64
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[16:33:31] <Talor> Awesome, I still has 20x8,8%x0,33cl beer left
[16:34:13] <Cherokee[w]> Why does your beer have coordinates?
#6
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[17:32:25] <Jerev> Million Man March!
[17:32:33] * Nalah (Nalah@SWC-IRC.454356B93E278.SWC) Quit (Ping timeout)
[17:33:37] <Jerev> How come everytime I say something, someone leaves?
[17:34:08] * Ed|uni (~Ed@SWC-IRC.AFDE1B3B8D90.SWC) Quit (Quit: ~ <RobertDerr> Az, I'm going to try to dock in you | Can't beat a good whack :P ~)
[17:36:47] <Jerev> Owned!
[17:36:55] * Cherokee (~tcherokee@SWC-IRC.BE173B7E3EF991.SWC) Quit (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
[17:37:01] <Jerev> Dammit!!
#2
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[22:16:05] <Keir> Honestly, if I send Dreighton an eMail with a bug, you know something like "Faction Creation seems to be down", I don't expect it fixed for a good 3 months in the fucking first place, I hardly need a "I'm going grocery shopping, I'll check my eMails when I get back" announcement
[22:16:08] * Phryss is afk: Peeing. Logging: [on] Pager: [on]
#19
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[18:35:12] <Keir|Spying> "I gots me a watermelon" is not *bad* English, it is *alternative* English
#63
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[02:25:42] <Ten> The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware.
#23
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[17:17:48] <Adam_Zad> "While skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad."
#224
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[11:08:45] <Mikel> I don't bake a lot but when i do I try to find a recipe that goes by weight
[11:08:52] <Mikel> a cup of flour can vary immensely
[11:08:53] <Azarin> To me, cup means "grab whatever cup from the cupboard which is too small to drink from"
[11:09:10] <Mikel> Well that's just stupid, a cup is a defined measurement
[11:09:17] <Mikel> but it's only good for liquids
[11:09:43] <Mikel> Then you have BS like "a cup of brown sugar (loosely/tightly) packed"
[11:10:12] <Claven> You say that, but is it a coffee cup, or one of those little cappuchino cups, or a world cup? It doesn´t say! *kitchenfire*
[11:11:44] <Azarin> Haha, "use your 1994 world cup to measure the sugar. If you weren't part of the Brazil national team in that year, use a replica"
#400
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< blackhole> i don't even know what the avian flu feels like because the separatist catalonains are keeping it all for themselves
#403
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[18:03:06] <@Superman> I regularly regret letting people know I have freetime within moments of hitting send
[18:03:57] <.selatos> oh perfect you have some free time
[18:04:05] <.selatos> i need you to collate 1000 information packets for this business meeting
[18:04:13] <.selatos> they're in a heap, in random order, in the copy room
[18:05:28] <@Superman> do I get CPs?
[18:05:55] <.selatos> sure same amount as i pay for everything else you do
[18:07:07] <@Superman> ...touché...
#379
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[13:28] <Greyson> i've never lost my virginity because I never lose
#145
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[17:22:20] <+Kevin||Sleep> I type with my penis
[17:22:33] <@Banquo> In other words, he can barely reach the keyboard.
#102
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[10:31:33] <Cherokee> I've eaten 14 boxes of Thin Mints...
[10:31:39] <Cherokee> but I haven't gotten any thinner :(
#399
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[19:34:01] <Arjuna> Genital jousting is on sale, and my grandma gave me a card for christmas with steam wallet money
[19:34:12] <Arjuna> I... think she just bought me this game....
#138
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[14:25:31] <CPL_Goerke> I'm in A-school for the Navy, I got out of boot camp about 2 days ago
[14:25:43] <Deric_Adams> sweet
[14:25:50] <Deric_Adams> what job?
[14:27:48] <CPL_Goerke> Cryptology
[14:28:14] <Mesh`la> that's so fun, I love studying Crypts
#114
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[18:37:11] <Eldrwyn_D`Auvergne> I can almost always tell if a movie doesn't use real dinosaurs
#91
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[14:16:05] <Panda_Prime> We only converse breifly and in short bursts! That's not knowing someone!
[14:16:36] <Ten> that's the internet equivalent of having shared a bed!
#11
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[19:13:21] <Phryss> Does anyone else get really paranoid when you email people that you have never emailed before? I always fear getting marked as spam, so I end up writing really weird emails that don't include any URL and that read funny in an attempt not to sound like a spambot.
#1
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[04:30:00] <Ran> Any Dungeon Master's or D&D/RPG players lurking around?
[04:30:22] <@Ten> syn is a pro dungeon master
[04:30:35] <.Loki> different kind of dungeon
#110
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[10:21:03] <blackhole> man my last clorophorm date was awful
[10:59:59] <Cherokee> colored prom?
[11:00:17] <Cherokee> you took a black girl to her prom? Aren't you a little old for that?
[11:01:41] <blackhole> geez man, you're making it sound like if i colored her myself
#65
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[01:30:04] <Wool> And one morning I woke up with so much blood in my mouth I thought I went down on a vampire.