Random

#13
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[00:01:01] <Keir> I was hanging out with a bunch of tough black thugs, and I was trying to fit in and be one of them, but I was really nervous and when I tried to call them "mai homies", I think I said homos :(
[00:01:13] <Keir> I'm now in a bodycast
[00:01:44] <Keir> For those who couldn't tell, the above story was an obvious fabrication. It is a well-known fact Canada doesn't have black people.
#28
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[18:10:15] <Keir> If it's "sick" to chain your eldest daughter in the basement, tell your wife she ran away, then use her as a brood mother for you to raise speechless mutants underground, then I guess we're all a little "sick"
#286
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[11:08:58] <%Hudson> Starting build 5075 for job hoth (previous build: STILL FAILING -- last SUCCESS #4690 4 mo 3 days ago)
[11:09:52] <Brand> If you wanted something to tell you that you're a failure and that your last success was months ago, why not just get married?
#64
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[16:33:31] <Talor> Awesome, I still has 20x8,8%x0,33cl beer left
[16:34:13] <Cherokee[w]> Why does your beer have coordinates?
#289
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[08:23:48] <Deric_Adams> wtf are you reading?
[08:24:04] <@Superman> nothing go away
[08:24:10] <Deric_Adams> guys, erek is reading 50 shades of grey
[08:24:17] <Deric_Adams> lets all laugh and point at him
[08:24:41] <@Superman> 50 Shades of Grey is a book not a series
[08:24:44] <@Superman> I think
[08:24:46] <@Superman> To google!
[08:24:48] <Deric_Adams> wrong
[08:24:53] <Deric_Adams> there is like 3 books
[08:25:10] <@Superman> ew
[08:25:17] <@Superman> there are three-...
[08:25:24] <@Superman> How'd you know that...
[08:26:06] <Deric_Adams> I um
[08:26:08] <Deric_Adams> uhh
[08:26:13] <Deric_Adams> gotta go!
[08:26:15] * Quits: Deric_Adams (Deric_Adam@swc-irc.cp2.4m6.k0aau8.IP) (Quit: <DA->I saw Srota today, suicide sounds very good right now)
#258
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[22:21:08] <Loki> Over the past few days I learned that I have a lot in common with Sel's cat
[22:21:13] <selatos> it's true
[22:21:18] <Ten> you both guard selatos, and what else?
[22:21:20] <TembreFell> thick black fur
[22:21:31] <Ten> unkept fingernails
[22:21:32] <TembreFell> long tail
[22:21:37] <selatos> whiskers
[22:21:37] <blackhole> if you pull their tails they scratch your face
[22:21:41] <TembreFell> mange
[22:21:41] <Ten> syn can't fall on his back
[22:21:42] <Loki> The only real difference is I'm not quite as housebroken
[22:21:53] <selatos> true, my cat never pissed on the floor
[22:22:03] <Loki> I only did it one time
#94
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[21:37] <Squall_Chitose> I'm going to write a story about my Dong, Jenos.
[21:37] <Quetzalxochitl> you called your dong jenos?
[21:37] <%Jenos-Laptop> :P
[21:37] <Guinar> Short story, right?
[21:37] <%Jenos-Laptop> bastards
#409
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[10:57:42] <Baugrems> Kay you just shattered my view of your perfection and robotic nature
[10:58:04] <+Kay_Dallben> Oh that explains why you kept trying to cyber with me - you thought I was a robot.
#61
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[01:35:22] * Squall_Chitose (~jedimaste@SWC-IRC.2930AC62555A87.SWC) has joined #swc-members
[01:35:45] <Cherokee> No.
[01:35:47] <Cherokee> Get out.
[01:38:17] * Rick_Unnis (Rick_Unnis@SWC-IRC.28D46D33E3A7E2.SWC) Quit (Quit: )
[01:38:46] * Squall_Chitose (~jedimaste@SWC-IRC.2930AC62555A87.SWC) Quit (Quit: * Goran_Skirata is now away - Reason : Squall has an unhealthy and disconcerting interest in me)
[01:40:28] * Vussek_Kaos (~vussek@SWC-IRC.E4B5D168BCDB9.SWC) Quit (Quit: <.Gavin> somewhere there is a 1 armed man who is beatin off with one hand, and using his nose to type and surf the sites)
[01:40:35] * Geno (~Geno@SWC-IRC.635C21F8A454C.SWC) Quit (Ping timeout)
[01:41:06] <Cherokee> I didn't mean all of them, just Squall.
#160
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[12:00:11] <Var> I see you're still pretending that your phone adds a period after words, Primun.
[12:01:09] <Primun> I turned off all autocorrect shit
[12:01:23] <Var> Then how is that period getting in there?!
[12:01:46] <Primun> Because the period is right beside the fucjing period button for fucks sake.
[12:01:52] <Primun> Wait
[12:01:53] <Primun> What
[12:01:56] <Primun> Hold on
#3
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[15:38:27] <Nalah> My mother marks the English national exams. She was marking one creative writing paper today, and she got to the bottom of the page of one that read "the doctor knelt down beside her and raped her" - she turned the page and it finished "leg in a bandage". Hehe.
#89
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[14:53:00] <Cherokee> i bit myself in a retarded way now there is a piece of meat hanging from my mouth
#32
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[23:43:27] * Naast has learned to stop clicking Keir's links now
[23:44:51] <Samuel_Flagg> I think I learned to not click on Keirs pictures back in about '02?
[23:45:31] <Keir> pfft, the hate
[23:45:38] <Meesis_Meeso> of???
[23:45:55] <Keir> fecal matter molded into interesting shapes with cookie cutters, in Flagg's case
#97
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[16:15:10] <Quetzalxochitl> 17. The idea of verbally dominating/humiliating (name calling, dictating orders, etc.) during sexual activity is exciting to me
[16:15:31] <Quetzalxochitl> sure, but I always hit a writer's block after the first "you like it, slut"
[16:16:10] <Quetzalxochitl> GIMME ALL YO YENS YIP YIP YAP
#395
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< blackhole> iirc, simplified chinese appears too simplified, though... like empty boxes
#125
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[12:56:44] * [A]Nuroudo is now known as Nuroudo
[12:56:53] <Deric_Adams> Nuroudo!
[12:56:59] <Deric_Adams> how are you my friend?
[12:57:20] <Thirteen> yes, how is it that you are deric's friend
[12:58:46] <Deric_Adams> :(
#49
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[20:10:43] <Cherokee> Melik, does your fiancee know about your swine clap?
[20:11:09] <Squall_Chitose> I have bovine chlamydia.
[20:15:37] <Melik_Tafari> no but you can suck your mother and find out if she has it
[20:16:06] <Cherokee> that makes no sense
[20:17:09] <Melik_Tafari> in deh islands where i live, it would be said as "suck ur mumma ras hole"... is that better?
[20:21:02] <Cherokee> no, but if you're implying my mother has pet rats in holes in the wall, its quite true. We keep them there to deter visitors who want to use the guest room, exercise room, home theater, game room, great room, captains roost, or poolside cabana deck.
#186
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<DA> haha pornhub tweeted "Don't try and upload the superbowl game, we don't allow rape"
<Azarin> Ahahahaha
<@Superman> haha
<Squall_Chitose> I'm disturbed that you follow pornhub on twitter, Deric.
<Squall_Chitose> Disturbed, but not surprised.
#68
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[03:15:03] <Ten> I just realized something strange
[03:15:19] <DvD> You DONT have a vachina?
[03:15:30] <Ten> I don't know what a vachina is
[03:15:37] <Ten> so, probably not that
[03:16:00] <Ten> no, I just woke up to the realization that I've been talking out loud to my computer in a transformers voice
[03:17:59] <Ten> where did everyone go?!
[03:18:38] <Light> I went to poop
[03:19:20] <dorothy> I was smoking
[03:19:35] <Ten> phew
[03:19:44] <Ten> for a moment it was like my fourth birthday all over again
[03:19:52] <dorothy> lol
[03:20:08] <DvD> lol
[03:20:42] <Ten> we were playing hide and seek, my family, class mates, house staff
[03:20:44] <Ten> I was it
[03:20:54] <Ten> when I finished counting to ten, everyone was gone
#434
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<@Klinger> It took me half the day to get those RM's back to that person :P
<.selatos> not bad
<@Klinger> It would have taken me less if I knew I could just spawn them :P
<@Baugrems> What were you doing? Mining for it
<@Baugrems> ??
<@Sidway> He purchased them from DEEPCORE
<@Sidway> And then flew them all the way back in his hyper 10 Acclamator
#82
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[03:27] <Bryce> SWC is my facebook!
[03:28] <.Light> and just like on facebook, you have no friends
#401
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[23:34:42] <Loki> Speaking of creepy animal behaviors, Cherokee
[23:34:57] <Loki> My dog sometimes stands right next to my chair (like right now) and stares at the same spot of blank white wall (like right now)
[23:35:08] <Loki> just stands there for several minutes staring, his ears pricked
[23:35:14] <Loki> sometimes he ventures slowly closer and sniffs a little
[23:35:17] <Ten> oh, I have that problem in morrowind
[23:35:19] <Loki> sometimes he just stares
[23:35:31] <Ten> it occurs when there isn't an AI path defined
[23:35:44] <Ten> just adjust your room's pathing and it'll be fine
#138
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[14:25:31] <CPL_Goerke> I'm in A-school for the Navy, I got out of boot camp about 2 days ago
[14:25:43] <Deric_Adams> sweet
[14:25:50] <Deric_Adams> what job?
[14:27:48] <CPL_Goerke> Cryptology
[14:28:14] <Mesh`la> that's so fun, I love studying Crypts
#29
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[19:03:30] <blackhole> i heard so many wonderful stories about everywhere-butspain conn
[19:03:46] <blackhole> buttspain
[19:03:52] <blackhole> ah nm hehe
#55
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[11:43:21] * Riad_Sertage (~chatzilla@SWC-IRC.113BB7FF48F335.SWC) has joined #Help
[11:45:35] <Riad_Sertage> I never see any chatting is this a coinsidence or do you have to do something special to view the chat?
[11:47:19] <Riad_Sertage> Wait, If I can't see the chat Ican't see your answers... crap
[11:48:57] * Riad_Sertage (~chatzilla@SWC-IRC.113BB7FF48F335.SWC) Quit (Quit: ChatZilla 0.9.85 [Firefox 3.5.2/20090729225027])
#398
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[14:33:56] <Hank> how you get testes if your force
[14:34:12] <Raidan> Most guys are born with testes
[14:34:20] <Raidan> Doesn't need the force :S
[14:34:56] <Hank> test***
[14:34:58] <Hank> sorry lol
#445
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[17:18:07] <swcdiscord1> <Ho Ho Honest Jic> listen, I'm not going to drive across america to go to my godmothers house just whip out my dick in front of her dog for scale
#184
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[20:14] <Squall_Chitose> I only let people in my clan that I like.
[20:14] <Squall_Chitose> :D
[20:15] <Squall_Chitose> except deric, he got in on sexual talent.
[20:15] <DA> I give good head
[20:15] <Varlathotep> It's true, he does.
[20:15] <Varlathotep> Squall doesn't know this but I was in the closet as Deric gave him head.
[20:16] <DA> oh yeah
[20:16] <Varlathotep> I will say it was quite glorious.
[20:16] <DA> I can suck a garden hose through golfball
[20:16] <DA> wait
[20:16] <DA> i said that wrong
[20:16] <Varlathotep> ...
[20:16] <Uli> LOL
[20:16] <Varlathotep> That is some sucking talent
[20:16] <DA> or did I?
[20:16] <Uli> I...
[20:16] <Samantha_Umbra> :o
[20:17] <Varlathotep> If you managed to such a hose through a solid object that is fucking impressive.
[20:17] <DA> I can't breath right now im laughing so hard
[20:17] <Varlathotep> Someone has to quote that >.>
[20:17] <.Loki|starkphone> That's not all that's hard
#14
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[23:50:43] <Phryss> My family has this odd habit of not distinguishing between inlaws and...outlaws.
#433
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[16:54:29] <Cherokee> the trick to not cry when chopping onions is to not form an emotional bond
#229
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[13:46:14] <.Loki-> Don't be jealous of the golden nightmare
[13:46:19] <.Loki-> And my nocturnal assassin
[13:46:26] * .Loki- urinates aggressively
[13:46:28] <.Loki-> ..
[13:46:43] <.Loki-> My phone is automatically filling in "aggressively" after I urinate
[13:46:45] <.Loki-> Sweet
#380
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[00:28:28] <Loki> whoa whoa dont go spreading around to everyone that I'd fuck literally anyone
[00:29:11] <Kez> If you didnt want ppl thinking that then you shouldnt be showing up at swap meets with yours hands full of booty
[00:29:28] <Loki> I showed up with my hands almost empty, but then people kept putting things in them, like drinks, and their asses
[00:29:52] <Kez> I saw plenty of grabbing Syn
[00:29:55] <Kez> you little cheater
[00:30:04] <Loki> It's not cheating if I lie about it and pretend like it didn't happen
[00:30:27] <Kez> Man, that just hits every form of corruption and rules breaking this game has seen
[00:30:32] <Loki> I like to be efficient
#226
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[16:11:12] <Chermobyl> Don't spray like an anal.
[16:11:13] <Chermobyl> ...
[16:11:13] <Selatos> you're basically a nighttime prowler though
[16:11:15] <Chermobyl> Animal
[16:11:19] <blackhole> haha
[16:11:23] <Minty_Cream> don't spray like an anal either though
[16:11:33] <blackhole> please, spray like an anal
[16:12:09] <Loki-> Fuck you all for making me laugh in a dead silent room filled with people
[16:12:09] <Chermobyl> You can't handle the poop
[16:12:09] <blackhole> hahaha
[16:12:24] <Clark_Kent> Hahaha
[16:12:49] <Minty_Cream> keep us updated as the situation develops
#35
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[23:16:55] <Wool> just dropped my container with all the cashews in it
[23:17:06] <Wool> now I've got bits and pieces of cashews all over the floor :(
[23:17:09] <Keir> for the last fucking time, pick your nuts up off the ground
#131
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[23:12:12] <Selatos> var why are you being emo
[23:12:35] <Varfarius> I've got the heart break blues selatos. Sadly, it's not from my girlfriend.
[23:12:53] <Varfarius> Is it bad I feel more betrayed by a server than my own girlfriend when she won't put out?!
[23:13:24] <Selatos> if your server isn't putting out, i feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems, but a misconfig ain't one
#110
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[10:21:03] <blackhole> man my last clorophorm date was awful
[10:59:59] <Cherokee> colored prom?
[11:00:17] <Cherokee> you took a black girl to her prom? Aren't you a little old for that?
[11:01:41] <blackhole> geez man, you're making it sound like if i colored her myself
#441
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[08:42:14] <Kez> this bot is like the greatest relevent fox provider I've ever seen
[08:43:02] <Lokitty> How many relevant fox providers have you seen, kez?
[08:43:09] <Lokitty> Because I feel that might be a low bar
[08:43:20] <Kez> I drink to forget the former fox providers
[08:43:33] <Kez> Highly let down by the misleading Fox News
[08:43:41] <Kez> barely provides any foxes!
[08:43:50] <Lokitty> Ah that was your first mistake, expecting fox news to provide you with foxes, or news
#63
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[02:25:42] <Ten> The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware.
#124
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[04:15:29] <dot> Captcha read "How are you" and I typed good >_<
#71
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[02:36] <Cherokee> I don't go to the beach anymore. Not since the last time they succeeded in "rescuing" me by pushing me into the water.
[02:37] <Nalah> Who are they?
[02:37] <Seele> Greenpeace.
#326
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<Minty_Cream> : clearly
<Minty_Cream> : anyone can post about books in general talk
<Minty_Cream> : AND THEY CAME EN MASSE
<Minty_Cream> : if you build it they will come, indeed
<Sadatsu> : I knew a girl who came in Mass once. It was....awkward.
#382
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[23:49:21] <Kivan_Hamner> Twas the night before Christmas and all throughout the house
[23:49:29] <Kivan_Hamner> the AC was blowing, cause I live in the South
#374
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[23:17:22] <Ten> voldemort would've had a lot fewer problems if he wasn't such an asshole #SoRelatable
#179
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[09:12:26] <Loki|starkphone> Penis you die of exhaustion or something
[09:12:27] <Loki|starkphone> ..
[09:12:31] <Loki|starkphone> Or if*
[09:13:01] <Loki|starkphone> I don't have toilette syndrome
[09:13:07] <Loki|starkphone> Yeah my phone don't know that word
#21
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[15:17:26] * Vlash_Kimer yawns
[15:19:51] * Sidakin][Vos throws a golf ball into Vlash's mouth
[15:20:11] * Vlash_Kimer cock
[15:20:22] <syn> cock?
[15:20:24] <Vlash_Kimer> *chocks
[15:20:42] <Sidakin][Vos> ...........
[15:20:47] * Vlash_Kimer (~dolittle2@SWC-IRC.C54E5EC8A37450.TR) Quit (Quit: )
[15:20:47] <Sidakin][Vos> its chokes*
[15:20:48] <syn> It's okay, that's my first thought when someone is getting something shoved in their mouth, too.
[15:20:49] <Sidakin][Vos> xD!!!!!!!!!
[15:20:56] <Sidakin][Vos> He got embrassed
#117
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<Mikel> Anyone happen to be selling 12 sets of IRG?
<Mikel> or am I going to have to steal them from wherever I assume we're storing like 5000 sets
* Mikel eyeshifts.
<Ellias> you mean you don't steal your factions equipment ofr personal use?
<Ellias> waste of powers if you ask me
<Mikel> Seele would probably get mad and spank me
<Mikel> related: the NPC fit out I'm creating is stupidly complicated
<Mikel> IRG armor needs a belt
<Mikel> otherwise my NPCs will be mismatched
<Mikel> and that would be a FASHION DISASTER
<Mikel> bandits would be talking shit about me on Bravo
<Mikel> "Did you see that bitch? Had the NERVE to come up on our camp in his last-season Imperial Munitions shit. Amateur."
#99
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[01:55:59] <Squall_Chitose> I'd be like "Hey 16 year old slut, you want an A? You gotta earn it"
[01:56:08] <Squall_Chitose> thats why they won't let me be a teacher.
[01:56:12] <Selatos> "... by getting all of the answers correct on this test."
#432
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[23:07:59] <Loki> Alternate between swiveling both wrists in opposite directions and stroking your hands upward, twisting your wrists when you reach his head as though you are turning a doorknob. Rub your thumb in a tiny figure-eight pattern over his frenelum... Or try the windshield-wiper move; glide your thumb from side to side along the rim where his head begins, then move your thumb up and over the top of the head several times.
[23:08:14] <Loki> yeah im gonna need a diagram here
[23:08:19] <Russ> That is a lot of detail
[23:08:20] <Twelve> yes, turn that doorknob
[23:08:29] <Russ> Either you are copying this straight or you have attempted this
[23:08:57] <Loki> I'm sitting here with my hands making motions that are disappointingly not obscene but look like I'm trying to summon a demon
[23:09:41] <Russ> And you're not getting anything out of this?
[23:09:55] <Loki> Not even a lesser demon
#57
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[19:13:03] <blackhole> alright, crtl+q quits
[19:13:54] <blackhole> i better won't keep trying to find text styles like crtl+b by trial and error just so i don't find some crtl combo to dcc all my goat porn to all server users
#301
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<Minty_Cream> dress shirts never go out of fashion
<Loki> http://puu.sh/gDg13/104f7d4f59.jpg THIS WAS A DRESS SHIRT ONCE
<Loki> IT WENT OUT OF FASHION
<Loki> QED.
<Chermobyl> It was never.
<Loki> well then what the fuck did i wear it to my uncle's funeral for
<Chermobyl> Never end a sentence with a preposition
<Loki> well then what the fuck did i wear it to my uncle's funeral for, bitch