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#147
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[12:46:00] <+Samuel_York> I downloaded a movie for my dad, 28 weeks later, and he's complaining that the captions are in French
[12:47:19] <+Hal_Kinda_Away> Bonjour. Je m'appelle Zombie. Vous est petit dejeuner, oui?
[12:47:40] <Ji`vani> Cerveaux! Cerveaux!
#13
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[00:01:01] <Keir> I was hanging out with a bunch of tough black thugs, and I was trying to fit in and be one of them, but I was really nervous and when I tried to call them "mai homies", I think I said homos :(
[00:01:13] <Keir> I'm now in a bodycast
[00:01:44] <Keir> For those who couldn't tell, the above story was an obvious fabrication. It is a well-known fact Canada doesn't have black people.
#28
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[18:10:15] <Keir> If it's "sick" to chain your eldest daughter in the basement, tell your wife she ran away, then use her as a brood mother for you to raise speechless mutants underground, then I guess we're all a little "sick"
#32
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[23:43:27] * Naast has learned to stop clicking Keir's links now
[23:44:51] <Samuel_Flagg> I think I learned to not click on Keirs pictures back in about '02?
[23:45:31] <Keir> pfft, the hate
[23:45:38] <Meesis_Meeso> of???
[23:45:55] <Keir> fecal matter molded into interesting shapes with cookie cutters, in Flagg's case
#339
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[09:20:02] <Dante_Erinith> Also, there usually so few people on IRC this time of the day? I remember there being a hell of a lot more a few years ago.
[09:20:29] <.selatos> Current Local Users: 182 Max: 312
[09:20:29] <.selatos> Current Global Users: 190 Max: 320
[09:20:40] <@Thirteen> irc was more active a few years ago
[09:20:44] <.selatos> i suppose it is a bit lower than max, but mostly people just don't like -members
[09:20:53] <.selatos> because of ten, mostly
[09:20:59] * .selatos stares
[09:21:01] <Dante_Erinith> Damn ten.
[09:21:02] <Dante_Erinith> Who's ten?
[09:21:15] <@Thirteen> he goes by Loki nowadays
[09:21:21] * @Thirteen stares
[09:21:22] <Dante_Erinith> Damn ten.
[09:21:25] * Dante_Erinith stares
#19
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[18:35:12] <Keir|Spying> "I gots me a watermelon" is not *bad* English, it is *alternative* English
#400
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< blackhole> i don't even know what the avian flu feels like because the separatist catalonains are keeping it all for themselves
#145
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[17:22:20] <+Kevin||Sleep> I type with my penis
[17:22:33] <@Banquo> In other words, he can barely reach the keyboard.
#146
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[23:16:15] <Banquo> I'll pretend to be a Tylger.
[23:18:32] <Banquo> Seriously, you come out blasting, and I'll smoke a cigar and act like I'm rich.
#403
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[18:03:06] <@Superman> I regularly regret letting people know I have freetime within moments of hitting send
[18:03:57] <.selatos> oh perfect you have some free time
[18:04:05] <.selatos> i need you to collate 1000 information packets for this business meeting
[18:04:13] <.selatos> they're in a heap, in random order, in the copy room
[18:05:28] <@Superman> do I get CPs?
[18:05:55] <.selatos> sure same amount as i pay for everything else you do
[18:07:07] <@Superman> ...touché...
#409
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[10:57:42] <Baugrems> Kay you just shattered my view of your perfection and robotic nature
[10:58:04] <+Kay_Dallben> Oh that explains why you kept trying to cyber with me - you thought I was a robot.
#442
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<blackhole> that sounds like one hell of a bday party
<Twelve> YOU would say that
<blackhole> not every child gets visited by spiderman on his birthday party!
<blackhole> ..
<blackhole> well...
<blackhole> not every child gets molested by spiderman on his birthday party!
<Twelve> yeah, this is one of the kids who didn't get molested by spiderman on his birthday party
<Twelve> spiderman wouldn't have fallen to his death!
#448
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<Twelve> You have declined: Mad Manny
<Twelve> mad lad
<Manny> hi
<Anax> Hi
<Manny> not sure if I'min the rigth place but Im' having problems with my handle
#458
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<Mikel> yeah my surface is literally as thin as my Galaxy S6
<Mikel> 2 pounds I think
<Jic> pounds are a measure of force, not thinness
<Rawth> He means how many hammer pounds it can survive
#49
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[20:10:43] <Cherokee> Melik, does your fiancee know about your swine clap?
[20:11:09] <Squall_Chitose> I have bovine chlamydia.
[20:15:37] <Melik_Tafari> no but you can suck your mother and find out if she has it
[20:16:06] <Cherokee> that makes no sense
[20:17:09] <Melik_Tafari> in deh islands where i live, it would be said as "suck ur mumma ras hole"... is that better?
[20:21:02] <Cherokee> no, but if you're implying my mother has pet rats in holes in the wall, its quite true. We keep them there to deter visitors who want to use the guest room, exercise room, home theater, game room, great room, captains roost, or poolside cabana deck.
#395
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< blackhole> iirc, simplified chinese appears too simplified, though... like empty boxes
#11
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[19:13:21] <Phryss> Does anyone else get really paranoid when you email people that you have never emailed before? I always fear getting marked as spam, so I end up writing really weird emails that don't include any URL and that read funny in an attempt not to sound like a spambot.
#16
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[18:15:32] <Phryss> I use HTML as a masturbatory aid.
#75
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[01:32] <.Keir|Away> Hint: Never let your planets go uncontrolled, even for ten hours, when Keir is in-sector with a hyper 14 ship
[01:32] * .Keir|Away eyes faction about to lose two planets to hidden cities :D
[01:38] <+T`losk|Away> zomgish. :O
[01:53] <+Orphaea_Imperium> not any of mine? >_>
[01:55] * .Keir|Away waves, smirking at Orph
[01:55] <+Orphaea_Imperium> you go hell
[01:55] <+Orphaea_Imperium> >:/
[01:55] <+Orphaea_Imperium> although I only have one planet...
[01:56] <.Keir|Away> Did it go uncontrolled recently?
[01:56] <+Orphaea_Imperium> recent-ish
[01:56] <+Orphaea_Imperium> for about ten hours
[01:56] <+Orphaea_Imperium> >_>
#333
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[13:56:24] <Dwajon__Tuckcrac> Idoit
[13:56:47] * Dwajon__Tuckcrac stairs at the idiot
#78
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[21:43:58] <Cherokee[worb]> That's right. I take steroids. It's not for muscles. It's just to shrink my testicles to a manageable size.
#447
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<Cherokee> Ejaculation
<Cherokee> Love explosion on your face
<Cherokee> eat up, fridge empty
#450
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[12:42:17] <@ArjunAway> how can I be hot and cold at the same time?
[12:42:23] <@ArjunAway> I'm shivering and sweating
[12:42:41] <@Sid> Meth is a hell of a drug
#14
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[23:50:43] <Phryss> My family has this odd habit of not distinguishing between inlaws and...outlaws.
#22
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[13:22:27] <Bryce> If we break up, I am going to look for something more then 2 boobs and a vagina next time.
[13:23:02] <Togan> like what, three boobs and two vaginas?
#47
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[03:47:59] <Nash> howd the interview go?
[03:48:07] <Aikinar|> Good actually :D
[03:48:58] <Aikinar|> I was not so nervous as i would have thought
[03:50:03] <Ten> or maybe you didn't notice your own nervousness
[03:50:12] <Aikinar|> nah, i know when i'm nervous
[03:50:34] <Aikinar|> and i didn't sweat as a pig :D
[03:54:26] <Ten> maybe you were so nervous that your body couldn't even sweat!
[03:59:40] <Nash> have you checked your pants yet? Like make sure instead of sweating, you didn't accidentally soil yourself and the interview only went well because the interviewer felt he was in the presense of an unstable individual?
#71
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[02:36] <Cherokee> I don't go to the beach anymore. Not since the last time they succeeded in "rescuing" me by pushing me into the water.
[02:37] <Nalah> Who are they?
[02:37] <Seele> Greenpeace.
#340
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[21:23:02] <%Lan> Everytime I write a line of code
[21:25:12] <&selatos> do you think about whether i would judge you for it?
[21:28:31] <%Lan> Yes :'(
[21:28:45] <&selatos> perfect :p
#94
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[21:37] <Squall_Chitose> I'm going to write a story about my Dong, Jenos.
[21:37] <Quetzalxochitl> you called your dong jenos?
[21:37] <%Jenos-Laptop> :P
[21:37] <Guinar> Short story, right?
[21:37] <%Jenos-Laptop> bastards
#163
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<Guinar> Only you would bring a penis to a car fight, Squall.
#305
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[14:07:31] <.selatos> good news mikel
[14:07:36] * Ming (Ming@swc-irc.g50.hj7.njvhe5.IP) has joined #swc-members
[14:07:42] <.selatos> taint checking is a standard part of software development; you're clearly in the wrong profession
[14:08:03] * Ming (Ming@swc-irc.g50.hj7.njvhe5.IP) has left #swc-members ("")
#65
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[01:30:04] <Wool> And one morning I woke up with so much blood in my mouth I thought I went down on a vampire.
#84
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[23:02] <Clarr> I do, but first admit you're talking out of your ass
[23:02] <Clarr> go on, I'm waiting
[23:02] <Bane> Is that physically possible?
[23:03] <Keir> I admit that I am talking out of my ass, though it seems my ass has outwitted you
#85
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[08:46:29:429] <SWC_Member380> dont trip on me im new finding clues ok think lady left clues for me followed cookie crum no im here if your here im here thinking hoo dont no th i now a lady in this leage ssskkk in time only can sa you been a showdow one my ass fill its a girl not in to men so if you like games im down still like it if you say ha whats up if friends no someing let her no if this sounds lioke some one you have herd about please
#103
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[16:31] <Eldrwyn_D`Auvergne> big sadness face, engage
[16:31] <Eldrwyn_D`Auvergne> >: OOOOOO(
#117
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<Mikel> Anyone happen to be selling 12 sets of IRG?
<Mikel> or am I going to have to steal them from wherever I assume we're storing like 5000 sets
* Mikel eyeshifts.
<Ellias> you mean you don't steal your factions equipment ofr personal use?
<Ellias> waste of powers if you ask me
<Mikel> Seele would probably get mad and spank me
<Mikel> related: the NPC fit out I'm creating is stupidly complicated
<Mikel> IRG armor needs a belt
<Mikel> otherwise my NPCs will be mismatched
<Mikel> and that would be a FASHION DISASTER
<Mikel> bandits would be talking shit about me on Bravo
<Mikel> "Did you see that bitch? Had the NERVE to come up on our camp in his last-season Imperial Munitions shit. Amateur."
#374
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[23:17:22] <Ten> voldemort would've had a lot fewer problems if he wasn't such an asshole #SoRelatable
#445
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[17:18:07] <swcdiscord1> <Ho Ho Honest Jic> listen, I'm not going to drive across america to go to my godmothers house just whip out my dick in front of her dog for scale
#15
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[17:44:06] * Cherokee[p] puts on his dress uniform and goes to the bingo hall
[17:44:36] <Cherokee[p]> I'm so lonely
[17:44:39] * Cherokee[p] sniffs
[17:44:46] * Cherokee[p] dabs as numbers are called
[17:44:58] <syn> You could hire Jackson for company
[17:45:11] <syn> He'd look a dashing trophy wife on your arm
[17:45:19] <Cherokee[p]> Tempting.
[17:45:37] <tgr316> I dont wear underwear. That way, you can tell when I poo
[17:45:43] <syn> I rescind my remark.
[17:45:55] <Cherokee[p]> Not as tempting any longer.
#24
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[13:29:59] <Kast_Derrnon> Like they say in the hood... you best protect ya turf, smurf.
[13:30:43] <Chin> somehow that doesn't sound really like a tough guy line
[13:31:06] <Kast_Derrnon> Well then, obviously you nothing of urban culture.
#62
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[04:19:28] <Guinar> Claim you have to visit South Dakota on a matter of national security?
[04:19:32] <Light> haha
[04:19:39] <Light> Who visits SD?!
[04:19:43] <Light> especially for national security!
[04:19:45] <Cherokee> Only the dutch.
[04:19:49] <Guinar> Indeed.
[04:20:01] <Guinar> When they're not frothing at the mouth.
[04:20:12] <Cherokee> They're so impressed that we have land above sea level that we don't want to live on, that they just have to see what's wrong with it for themselves.
#342
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[18:27:39] <%blackhole> that was some nice interracial homoerotic historical dream
[18:29:30] <DK> stop dreaming with hutts
[18:31:15] <%blackhole> it did take place in butt space
[18:33:13] <DK> :O
[18:33:19] <DK> Nal Butta?
[18:42:08] <%blackhole> 55 days at Nal Butta
[18:42:39] <%blackhole> it was a strange setting for a dream... i'm not even sure if i ever finished watching that (at pekin) movie
[18:42:59] <%blackhole> peking*
[18:50:08] <%blackhole> so anyway, the awkward moment was when i was exploring a black soldier's body for leechs in an oriental sauna in the middle of a desert town
[18:50:30] <Keth> well did you find any
[18:56:01] <%blackhole> yea! \o/
[18:56:23] <%blackhole> and i pretty much woke up there, which was sad
[18:56:31] <%blackhole> it was being a great adventure before the leeches check up
#175
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[15:22:05] <Dac> oh I cant type but if you like that better then smootciekins we can run with it
[15:23:42] * Quits: Dac (Dac@swc-irc.5af.m34.j8fubj.IP) (Connection closed)
[15:23:54] <.Loki|starkphone> Dad I will definitely take the pet name loke over smoochiekins
#306
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[20:01:45] <@Mikel> I put peanut butter on my brown sugar
[20:01:56] <@Mikel> but her name is Sholonda
[20:02:01] <Kilian> Oh my
#73
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[03:44] <Bryce> so....tell me about your character?
[03:44] <tycho> im sexy
[03:45] <Bryce> ok...tell me things that my character would know by meeting you.
[03:45] <tycho> im sexy
#39
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[21:23:43] <Cherokee> In addition to wooden shoes, the Netherlands is also famous for their wooden socks.
#92
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[13:18] <Light> oh, and don't handle jalapeno peppers then touch your asshole.
[13:19] <Crog> why
[13:19] <Light> it hurts
[13:19] <Crog> why
[13:19] <Squall_Chitose> BURNS SO BAD
[13:19] <Teyacapan> yes, don't handle peppers with your asshole
#102
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[10:31:33] <Cherokee> I've eaten 14 boxes of Thin Mints...
[10:31:39] <Cherokee> but I haven't gotten any thinner :(
#105
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[19:07:24] <Cherokee> 7:30 WHY SO LATE FINAL
[19:07:33] <Syn> no clue
[19:07:40] <Syn> it's scheduled for 8pm for some reason
[19:07:43] <Syn> I miss raid for it ]:
[19:07:43] <Syn> so rude
[19:07:57] <Cherokee> you like only one invited, and its in professor's office and he gave you key and you find candles lit and rose petals
[19:08:04] <Syn> hahaha
[19:08:06] <Syn> creepy
[19:08:09] <Cherokee> totally
[19:08:14] <Cherokee> that only happen to me once
[19:08:20] <Cherokee> easiest A i ever got
#454
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[18:38:11] <mikelsewhere> I want mine to say EAT PORG HERE
[18:38:53] <Kez> I missed what that is in response to
[18:39:07] <Kez> I imagine we are all getting matching tramp stamps

1235next