Latest

#468
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[21:17:23] <Loki> I'm pretty sure I'm just utterly incapable of eating spaghetti without getting more of it on my chin than into my mouth.
[21:17:58] <Squall_Chitose> funnest part of eatin' sketti!
[21:18:20] <Squall_Chitose> just slam your face down into a bowl and suck your way to freedom.
[21:18:37] <Loki> Now explain how to eat spaghetti, Squall!
[21:18:52] <Squall_Chitose> much the same way, but with less dicks.
#466
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[13:56:09] <@Ten> oh syn, remember when you asked me to keep a look out for shows that feature human+goat relations
[13:56:12] <@Ten> this one does
#465
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<Mikel> You include one anal fisting scene and you lose all credibility with some people
#461
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[17:51:39] <Supermom> not enough patriot
[17:52:07] <Loki> amateurs
[17:52:12] <Loki> im wearing american flag underwear right now
[17:52:30] <Supermom> As proud as I am, I so did not need to know that.
[17:52:34] <Loki> well technically i just ran out of underwear so I cleverly folded an american flag into the approximate shape and secured it with scotch tape
[17:52:41] <Supermom> I...
[17:52:46] <Supermom> I'm going to kill you...
[17:53:00] <Loki> that's fine, that's a perfectly normal reaction
#460
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[20:21:00] <Mikel> Tomas I ordered one of those keychain things that's made from the skin of a southwest 737
[20:21:27] <Mikel> Still waiting on my syn skin version
[20:21:43] <Loki> wait that doesn't grow back
[20:22:11] <Mikel> It's ok they just bolt a new section on
[20:22:19] <Mikel> Wait did you mean your skin
[20:22:30] <Mikel> ...it's ok they just bolt a new section on
[20:22:38] <Loki> :(
#458
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<Mikel> yeah my surface is literally as thin as my Galaxy S6
<Mikel> 2 pounds I think
<Jic> pounds are a measure of force, not thinness
<Rawth> He means how many hammer pounds it can survive
#454
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[18:38:11] <mikelsewhere> I want mine to say EAT PORG HERE
[18:38:53] <Kez> I missed what that is in response to
[18:39:07] <Kez> I imagine we are all getting matching tramp stamps
#450
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[12:42:17] <@ArjunAway> how can I be hot and cold at the same time?
[12:42:23] <@ArjunAway> I'm shivering and sweating
[12:42:41] <@Sid> Meth is a hell of a drug
#448
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<Twelve> You have declined: Mad Manny
<Twelve> mad lad
<Manny> hi
<Anax> Hi
<Manny> not sure if I'min the rigth place but Im' having problems with my handle
#447
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<Cherokee> Ejaculation
<Cherokee> Love explosion on your face
<Cherokee> eat up, fridge empty
#445
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[17:18:07] <swcdiscord1> <Ho Ho Honest Jic> listen, I'm not going to drive across america to go to my godmothers house just whip out my dick in front of her dog for scale
#441
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[08:42:14] <Kez> this bot is like the greatest relevent fox provider I've ever seen
[08:43:02] <Lokitty> How many relevant fox providers have you seen, kez?
[08:43:09] <Lokitty> Because I feel that might be a low bar
[08:43:20] <Kez> I drink to forget the former fox providers
[08:43:33] <Kez> Highly let down by the misleading Fox News
[08:43:41] <Kez> barely provides any foxes!
[08:43:50] <Lokitty> Ah that was your first mistake, expecting fox news to provide you with foxes, or news
#440
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<blackhole> damn it. i got drunk yesterday and i apparently got a job
#434
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<@Klinger> It took me half the day to get those RM's back to that person :P
<.selatos> not bad
<@Klinger> It would have taken me less if I knew I could just spawn them :P
<@Baugrems> What were you doing? Mining for it
<@Baugrems> ??
<@Sidway> He purchased them from DEEPCORE
<@Sidway> And then flew them all the way back in his hyper 10 Acclamator
#433
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[16:54:29] <Cherokee> the trick to not cry when chopping onions is to not form an emotional bond
#432
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[23:07:59] <Loki> Alternate between swiveling both wrists in opposite directions and stroking your hands upward, twisting your wrists when you reach his head as though you are turning a doorknob. Rub your thumb in a tiny figure-eight pattern over his frenelum... Or try the windshield-wiper move; glide your thumb from side to side along the rim where his head begins, then move your thumb up and over the top of the head several times.
[23:08:14] <Loki> yeah im gonna need a diagram here
[23:08:19] <Russ> That is a lot of detail
[23:08:20] <Twelve> yes, turn that doorknob
[23:08:29] <Russ> Either you are copying this straight or you have attempted this
[23:08:57] <Loki> I'm sitting here with my hands making motions that are disappointingly not obscene but look like I'm trying to summon a demon
[23:09:41] <Russ> And you're not getting anything out of this?
[23:09:55] <Loki> Not even a lesser demon
#430
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[16:53:26] <selatos> this isn't like sex
[16:53:34] <selatos> the faster you finish the more you can do it
[16:53:48] <Loki> how is that not like sex
[16:54:18] <selatos> everyone is happier when sex is not the shortest possible
[16:54:27] <Loki> but you can still do it more the faster you finish!
[16:54:29] <Loki> its efficient
[16:54:32] <Loki> if your goal is as many sex as possible
[16:54:41] <Loki> the refractory period starts earlier, but it also ends earlier!
[16:54:52] <Loki> or as I like to call it, the global cooldown
[16:54:53] <selatos> but then your girl gets annoyed and leaves
[16:55:04] <selatos> so total time spent sexing is shorter
[16:55:05] <Loki> that just means you didnt secure the handcuffs well enough
#426
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[01:20:24] <.selatos> so weird
[01:20:26] <.selatos> all of you
[01:20:45] <@Loki> NAME ONE TIME
[01:21:03] <@Loki> my arms feel like someone is blowing on them with their mouth open
#424
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<Loki> I put my pants on like anybody else: when I absolutely have to and not always then
#423
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[22:58:39] <Dalovan_Lombardo> How was the race Blackhole?
[22:59:03] <blackhole> i finished it and didn't end the 8000th so that's great
[22:59:22] <Dalovan_Lombardo> Good good
[23:00:03] <blackhole> and how are you? tell me about yourself
[23:00:06] * blackhole (blackhole@swc-irc.7do.9pm.1cvv54.IP) Quit (Quit: <Loki> past. Help! My scientist friend showed me his time machine, which keeps sending me three seconds into the)
[23:01:43] * blackhole (blackhole@swc-irc.7do.9pm.1cvv54.IP) has joined #SWC-Members
[23:01:58] <Dalovan_Lombardo> Why do he keep leaving :-(
[23:02:49] <blackhole> it's called conceptual art
[23:03:23] <Dalovan_Lombardo> Hmm
[23:03:26] <Mora> It is called fatherhood
[23:03:28] <blackhole> also, this way, i never know if you are pregnant
#415
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[22:19:24] <Thresk> Guys
[22:19:26] <Thresk> Save ne
[22:19:27] <Thresk> Me
[22:20:07] <Thresk> Save me
[22:21:19] <Thresk> Guys make me feel better
[22:21:42] <Twelve> if guys make you feel better then you should just go find some guys..
#413
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[10:03:42] <Loki-cell> My phone informs me I'm driving right now.
[10:03:46] * Loki-cell sits motionless
[10:05:22] <Twelve> that's usually how it works when you're driving
[10:07:03] <Loki-cell> But I'm not moving at all! Except for how the planet is moving
[10:07:09] <Loki-cell> Like through space
[10:07:16] <Loki-cell> But relative to the planet I am motionless
[10:08:05] <Twelve> everyone looks like they're motionless when you zoom out far enough
#410
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<@Loki-cell> She only plays AI mode in heroes of the storm so she's not worth my time
#409
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[10:57:42] <Baugrems> Kay you just shattered my view of your perfection and robotic nature
[10:58:04] <+Kay_Dallben> Oh that explains why you kept trying to cyber with me - you thought I was a robot.
#407
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[19:18:02] <Loki> home is where you fully understand how the shower works
[19:20:54] <Kez> home is where everyone vacates because you don't properly shower and bathe yourself
[19:21:17] <Loki> That's most rooms, isn't it? Or do I just live everywhere
[19:22:03] <Kez> You may be homeless.
#405
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[19:11:55] * Superman considers outing Syn
[19:15:34] <selatos> as what
[19:15:56] <selatos> a vampire? a homosexual? a tortured teenage soul?
[19:16:07] <selatos> a falleen?
[19:23:04] <Superman> even worse
[19:23:11] <Superman> a german speaker
#404
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[18:20:15] <Loki> I'm a little disappointed, I wanted to go to auschwitz but apparently that will not be an option
[18:20:27] <selatos> why not?
[18:20:53] <Baugrems> Founders are not allowed back on the property
#403
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[18:03:06] <@Superman> I regularly regret letting people know I have freetime within moments of hitting send
[18:03:57] <.selatos> oh perfect you have some free time
[18:04:05] <.selatos> i need you to collate 1000 information packets for this business meeting
[18:04:13] <.selatos> they're in a heap, in random order, in the copy room
[18:05:28] <@Superman> do I get CPs?
[18:05:55] <.selatos> sure same amount as i pay for everything else you do
[18:07:07] <@Superman> ...touché...
#401
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[23:34:42] <Loki> Speaking of creepy animal behaviors, Cherokee
[23:34:57] <Loki> My dog sometimes stands right next to my chair (like right now) and stares at the same spot of blank white wall (like right now)
[23:35:08] <Loki> just stands there for several minutes staring, his ears pricked
[23:35:14] <Loki> sometimes he ventures slowly closer and sniffs a little
[23:35:17] <Ten> oh, I have that problem in morrowind
[23:35:19] <Loki> sometimes he just stares
[23:35:31] <Ten> it occurs when there isn't an AI path defined
[23:35:44] <Ten> just adjust your room's pathing and it'll be fine
#400
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< blackhole> i don't even know what the avian flu feels like because the separatist catalonains are keeping it all for themselves
#399
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[19:34:01] <Arjuna> Genital jousting is on sale, and my grandma gave me a card for christmas with steam wallet money
[19:34:12] <Arjuna> I... think she just bought me this game....
#398
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[14:33:56] <Hank> how you get testes if your force
[14:34:12] <Raidan> Most guys are born with testes
[14:34:20] <Raidan> Doesn't need the force :S
[14:34:56] <Hank> test***
[14:34:58] <Hank> sorry lol
#395
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< blackhole> iirc, simplified chinese appears too simplified, though... like empty boxes
#385
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[22:19] <.Loki-cell> Typical Jewish
[22:19] <.Loki-cell> Jedi
[22:19] <.Loki-cell> Not Jewish
[22:19] <.Loki-cell> Accidental racism my bad
#382
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[23:49:21] <Kivan_Hamner> Twas the night before Christmas and all throughout the house
[23:49:29] <Kivan_Hamner> the AC was blowing, cause I live in the South
#380
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[00:28:28] <Loki> whoa whoa dont go spreading around to everyone that I'd fuck literally anyone
[00:29:11] <Kez> If you didnt want ppl thinking that then you shouldnt be showing up at swap meets with yours hands full of booty
[00:29:28] <Loki> I showed up with my hands almost empty, but then people kept putting things in them, like drinks, and their asses
[00:29:52] <Kez> I saw plenty of grabbing Syn
[00:29:55] <Kez> you little cheater
[00:30:04] <Loki> It's not cheating if I lie about it and pretend like it didn't happen
[00:30:27] <Kez> Man, that just hits every form of corruption and rules breaking this game has seen
[00:30:32] <Loki> I like to be efficient
#379
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[13:28] <Greyson> i've never lost my virginity because I never lose
#377
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[23:31:48] * Loki offers a lindor ball
[23:31:48] <Superman> I don't like you.
[23:31:51] <Superman> That much.
[23:31:54] <Loki> oh
[23:31:56] * Loki retracts lindor ball
[23:32:09] <Superman> ... what the hell, at least give me a KISS
[23:32:13] <Loki> I don't have any!
[23:32:14] <Loki> I only have balls
[23:32:23] <Loki> You will take my balls and like it!
[23:32:29] <Superman> ... fine, I'll take one of your balls
[23:32:33] <Loki> they're creme filled
[23:32:38] <Loki> hold on I already put one in my mouth
[23:32:48] <Superman> But I want one in mine D:
[23:32:56] <Loki> ok this one is really white
[23:33:02] <Superman> kk
[23:33:19] * Loki inserts into Superman's mouth
[23:33:41] * Superman starts
[23:33:48] <Coleman> so you each have a ball in your mouths?
[23:33:50] * Loki finishes
[23:33:55] <dot> This is the worst cyber I've ever read
#376
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[04:35:49] <.Loki> List of words containing "meow": meow, meowed, meowing, meows, homeowner
#375
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[22:40:03] <blackhole> when i was a child, i had a lazy eye but then it spreaded to my whole person. that's why i'm so lazy now
#374
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[23:17:22] <Ten> voldemort would've had a lot fewer problems if he wasn't such an asshole #SoRelatable
#373
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<Loki> Sorry, but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin.
#372
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[16:39] <@Ten> https://cdn15.acloudimages.com/36d/f74/389/300x250_30.gif she just keeps typing D:
[16:41] <blackhole> she probably wants to propose you for sex but she is scared of being so direct
[16:42] <blackhole> ignore her. unsecure females are not too good in bed
[16:42] <blackhole> ..or insecure
[16:43] <@Ten> have you had much experience with insecure females in bed?
[16:43] <blackhole> i'm always the insecure female in bed
[16:44] * blackhole is typing...
[16:44] * blackhole is typing...
[16:44] * blackhole is typing...
[16:45] <blackhole> hi?
[16:45] * @Ten is typing...
[16:46] * blackhole is typing...
#370
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[19:06:04] <Loki> I dont know
[19:06:06] <ETJ> How fast can you talk german.
[19:06:14] <ETJ> We did it out of order.
[19:06:15] <ETJ> Try again.
[19:06:17] <ETJ> How fast can you talk german.
[19:06:25] <Loki> yeah but they go bad so quickly
[19:06:38] <ETJ> You're out of phase.
[19:06:40] <Loki> oops
[19:06:42] <ETJ> Your time machine broke
[19:06:45] <ETJ> Lets do this again
[19:06:47] <Loki> write that down for a few days from now
[19:06:47] <ETJ> How fast can you talk german.
[19:06:51] <Loki> I dont know
[19:06:55] <ETJ> Damn.
#359
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[08:05:01] <selatos> new server, yo
[08:05:45] * Loki strokes it
[17:31:16] <selatos> i only stroke it in private
[17:31:28] <selatos> maybe you need to be more discreet
[17:53:18] <Loki> this is private! It's just me and two other dudes
[18:37:09] <Superman> Did you just assume my gender?
[18:53:45] <Loki> sorry what are your preferred pronouns
[18:54:04] <Loki> I just kinda went by the "man" part of your name but now I realize that was foolish of me and it could simply be a surname
[18:58:31] <Superman> I prefer the guttural sound of man, but my preferred pronouns include 'phi' and 'phur'
[18:58:43] <Superman> My preference of the sound of the word man does not denote my gender
#350
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<@Thirteen> what about dre?
<Kilian_Delmarco> People act like they forgot about dre.
<PRE_Kynnovan> Who is Dre?
<@Thirteen> motherfucker, acting like you forgot about dre
<Kilian_Delmarco> Shame.
<@Thirteen> he's still the same OG, he's just been low key!
<PRE_Kynnovan> Well, in my defense I've only been around for 10 months
#347
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[11:03] <@Twelve> It's hard to parse incoming tactical information when someone is reading you literotica featuring your mother
#345
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[03:19:15] <Loki> ten aftershocks so far
[03:19:47] <Ten> are you saying I'm fat
[03:21:56] <Loki> I'm saying you rocked my world for at least a minute and a half, with several breaks in the middle
[03:23:20] <Ten> that's what I'm known for
[03:23:25] <Ten> a minute and a half with several breaks
#342
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[18:27:39] <%blackhole> that was some nice interracial homoerotic historical dream
[18:29:30] <DK> stop dreaming with hutts
[18:31:15] <%blackhole> it did take place in butt space
[18:33:13] <DK> :O
[18:33:19] <DK> Nal Butta?
[18:42:08] <%blackhole> 55 days at Nal Butta
[18:42:39] <%blackhole> it was a strange setting for a dream... i'm not even sure if i ever finished watching that (at pekin) movie
[18:42:59] <%blackhole> peking*
[18:50:08] <%blackhole> so anyway, the awkward moment was when i was exploring a black soldier's body for leechs in an oriental sauna in the middle of a desert town
[18:50:30] <Keth> well did you find any
[18:56:01] <%blackhole> yea! \o/
[18:56:23] <%blackhole> and i pretty much woke up there, which was sad
[18:56:31] <%blackhole> it was being a great adventure before the leeches check up
#341
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[16:11:55] <Kilian> Lee Lee, Keth is our local night walker
[16:12:30] <Keth> bleh!
[16:12:34] * Keth avoids garlic
[16:12:49] <Kilian> no I meant male prostitue
[16:13:49] <Keth> bleh!
[16:13:54] * Keth avoids the popo