Worst

prev12345next

#8
up
17
down
[17:27:06] <Phryss> Oh!
[17:27:07] <Phryss> Keir!
[17:27:15] <Phryss> I saw a girl today that reminded me of you.
[17:27:20] <Keir|NEW-GNS|Crap> !
[17:27:26] <Phryss> She had these ice packs on her shoulders
[17:27:32] <Keir|NEW-GNS|Crap> ^.-
[17:27:42] <Phryss> And they were being held in place by, like, saran wrap.
[17:27:49] <Keir|NEW-GNS|Crap> ...
[17:28:08] <Phryss> And the saran wrap wrapped tightly around her chest so her boobs were all squashed and invisible.
[17:28:15] <Phryss> The end.
#63
up
17
down
[02:25:42] <Ten> The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware.
#399
up
17
down
[19:34:01] <Arjuna> Genital jousting is on sale, and my grandma gave me a card for christmas with steam wallet money
[19:34:12] <Arjuna> I... think she just bought me this game....
#169
up
17
down
[16:24:13] <minty_sadness> this is bullshit
[16:24:37] <minty_sadness> if you can't launch bottle rockets from someone's anus then what's the fucking point of pledging to a fraternity?
#212
up
17
down
<blackhole> good. cat's back, i can poop again
<Squall_Chitose> was he hogging the litter box?
#50
up
18
down
[15:41:32] <Thirteen> well, I skipped my chemical romance
[15:42:42] <Jenos> Skipping's for girls or boxers. Are you a girl or a boxer?
[15:42:57] <Mikel> I wear boxers, does that count?
[15:43:01] <Light> Only if you're a girl.
[15:43:06] <Thirteen> I dated a girl boxer once
[15:43:13] <Light> Like, a female dog?
[15:43:23] <Thirteen> no, like a human female that boxes
[15:43:34] <Jenos> worked in a warehouse?
#80
up
18
down
[11:14] <@Dac_Kain> I paid for a bribe once, 7 days later I got a mail order russian lady at my door. Boy do I need glasses
#89
up
18
down
[14:53:00] <Cherokee> i bit myself in a retarded way now there is a piece of meat hanging from my mouth
#97
up
18
down
[16:15:10] <Quetzalxochitl> 17. The idea of verbally dominating/humiliating (name calling, dictating orders, etc.) during sexual activity is exciting to me
[16:15:31] <Quetzalxochitl> sure, but I always hit a writer's block after the first "you like it, slut"
[16:16:10] <Quetzalxochitl> GIMME ALL YO YENS YIP YIP YAP
#6
up
19
down
[17:32:25] <Jerev> Million Man March!
[17:32:33] * Nalah (Nalah@SWC-IRC.454356B93E278.SWC) Quit (Ping timeout)
[17:33:37] <Jerev> How come everytime I say something, someone leaves?
[17:34:08] * Ed|uni (~Ed@SWC-IRC.AFDE1B3B8D90.SWC) Quit (Quit: ~ <RobertDerr> Az, I'm going to try to dock in you | Can't beat a good whack :P ~)
[17:36:47] <Jerev> Owned!
[17:36:55] * Cherokee (~tcherokee@SWC-IRC.BE173B7E3EF991.SWC) Quit (Read error: 104 (Connection reset by peer))
[17:37:01] <Jerev> Dammit!!
#23
up
19
down
[17:17:48] <Adam_Zad> "While skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad."
#98
up
19
down
[05:02:41] <blackhole> why do i know how to spell cthulhu and not jirafee?
#132
up
19
down
[22:53:42] <Cherokee> if i had a dollar for every time someone called me ugly , id be broke because im perfect, lol later losers
[22:53:45] * Cherokee (tcherokee77@HULK) has left #swc-members
#190
up
19
down
[10:39:33] <Luke_Whitelock> you said park not me
[10:39:40] <Loki> If I can drive 2 hours you can walk 10 minutes.
[10:40:16] <Luke_Whitelock> I can't go into town that why I said here
[10:40:33] <Loki> ..Why not?
[10:40:39] <Squall_Chitose> Your mommy won't let you leave?
[10:40:40] <Varlathotep> Because his family that surprised him is there!
[10:40:44] <Varlathotep> Pay attention Loki!
[10:40:47] <Ten> gps anklet tracker
[10:40:48] <Luke_Whitelock> last time I did I was close to being hit by a truck
[10:40:53] <Ten> ...
[10:40:56] <Loki> hahah
[10:41:10] <Ten> and there was a black cat
[10:41:15] <Ten> and it rained
[10:41:32] <Luke_Whitelock> they were on the side walk
[10:41:40] <Loki> oh no now you can never go on the sidewalk again
[10:42:06] <Luke_Whitelock> yes so I can't go into town
[10:42:11] <Loki> not ever again
[10:42:14] <Loki> you're stuck inside forever
[10:42:23] <Luke_Whitelock> yes
[10:42:26] <Ten> he can go in the yard
[10:42:28] <Ten> no trucks there
[10:42:32] <Varlathotep> You never know.
[10:42:38] <Varlathotep> Those fire engines are wild man.
[10:42:52] <Loki> man its a good thing you live in the middle of nowhere so you can hide from all of the scary things in the world like people and cars and sunlight
[10:43:04] <Loki> and very small rocks
[10:47:11] <Luke_Whitelock> just because you like to be hit by cars don't mean I want to
[10:47:32] <Loki> I have eyes, so like, usually I look at the street to make sure I'm not stepping in front of one
[10:47:35] <Loki> maybe you should try that
[10:47:51] <Loki> life advice right here, cars are not ants, you can actually see them coming
[10:48:10] <Luke_Whitelock> I don't walk on the road loki
[10:48:16] <Loki> You dont walk at all from the sounds of it
[10:48:22] <Squall_Chitose> Dude, even chickens cross the road.
#33
up
20
down
[15:34:12] <Keir> The most trusted name in violence is now the most trusted name in banking! Eidola investments offers you a guaranteed 400% profit on your investments through one of our dedicated branch managers. Speak to us today, to ensure a brighter future!
[15:34:34] <Cesodevo> ...
[15:34:56] * Keir is now known as Person_in_Crowd
[15:35:01] <Person_in_Crowd> "Hey, these guys look legit!"
#295
up
20
down
[17:09:55] <Keth> So you're saying that there are currently no laws in elysia?
[17:10:24] <Loki|Arrow> well it's called elysia for a reason, of course there are no laws
[17:10:36] <Dagaro> But it has a King?
[17:10:43] <Loki|Arrow> i didn't vote for him
[17:11:01] <Dagaro> He was chosen by the Lady of the Maw
[17:11:27] <Rev[a]n> Some fancy tart throwing swords out a blackhole is no basis for a government
#337
up
20
down
[13:25:42] <Altair> and grammatically its good nuff?
[13:25:55] <@Ten> depends on what you consider good enough
[13:26:26] <Altair> I spelled enough as nuff.
#93
up
20
down
[17:10:51] <Crog> now make sound when you pooping , like TATATATATATa
#123
up
20
down
<Jevon> You kno\, uyjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj4444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWS
<Jevon> tHE CAT SAYS HI, APPARENTLY
<Cait> o.O
#124
up
20
down
[04:15:29] <dot> Captcha read "How are you" and I typed good >_<
#129
up
20
down
[10:46:31] <Selatos> D: doctor's office was uncomfortable, but productive i suppose
[10:48:06] <Selatos> two words: prostate exam
[10:48:16] <Selatos> maybe three, surprise prostate exam
#385
up
20
down
[22:19] <.Loki-cell> Typical Jewish
[22:19] <.Loki-cell> Jedi
[22:19] <.Loki-cell> Not Jewish
[22:19] <.Loki-cell> Accidental racism my bad
#30
up
21
down
[15:43:05] <Laz|away> and by the way, what prompted this war in the first place?
[15:44:43] <Keir> Frezt's refusal to sign a treaty and grant Eidola one planet in Kathol space
[15:45:23] <Laz|away> and what did you need a planet in Kathol space for?
[15:45:57] <Keir> raising tauntauns
[15:46:57] <Laz|away> wouldn't one normally do that on Hoth.....in Churba?
[15:47:33] <Keir> We capture them in Hoth, and raise them in Kathol
[15:47:41] <Laz|away> and what happened to that story of a bridge between your territories?
[15:47:53] <Keir> lies concocted by our enemies to discredit us
[15:47:59] <Keir> we are simple tauntaun farmers
#350
up
21
down
<@Thirteen> what about dre?
<Kilian_Delmarco> People act like they forgot about dre.
<PRE_Kynnovan> Who is Dre?
<@Thirteen> motherfucker, acting like you forgot about dre
<Kilian_Delmarco> Shame.
<@Thirteen> he's still the same OG, he's just been low key!
<PRE_Kynnovan> Well, in my defense I've only been around for 10 months
#95
up
21
down
[07:56] <&Zhao> Morning Vey
[07:59] <&Jesfa> , the australian said aloud.
[08:03] <&Zhao> ...stop narrating my life!
[08:04] <&Jesfa> , he mumbled angrily under his breath.
[08:05] <&Zhao> .......
[08:05] <&Jesfa> The australian, so stupid as he was, was incapable of forming words.
#370
up
21
down
[19:06:04] <Loki> I dont know
[19:06:06] <ETJ> How fast can you talk german.
[19:06:14] <ETJ> We did it out of order.
[19:06:15] <ETJ> Try again.
[19:06:17] <ETJ> How fast can you talk german.
[19:06:25] <Loki> yeah but they go bad so quickly
[19:06:38] <ETJ> You're out of phase.
[19:06:40] <Loki> oops
[19:06:42] <ETJ> Your time machine broke
[19:06:45] <ETJ> Lets do this again
[19:06:47] <Loki> write that down for a few days from now
[19:06:47] <ETJ> How fast can you talk german.
[19:06:51] <Loki> I dont know
[19:06:55] <ETJ> Damn.
#226
up
21
down
[16:11:12] <Chermobyl> Don't spray like an anal.
[16:11:13] <Chermobyl> ...
[16:11:13] <Selatos> you're basically a nighttime prowler though
[16:11:15] <Chermobyl> Animal
[16:11:19] <blackhole> haha
[16:11:23] <Minty_Cream> don't spray like an anal either though
[16:11:33] <blackhole> please, spray like an anal
[16:12:09] <Loki-> Fuck you all for making me laugh in a dead silent room filled with people
[16:12:09] <Chermobyl> You can't handle the poop
[16:12:09] <blackhole> hahaha
[16:12:24] <Clark_Kent> Hahaha
[16:12:49] <Minty_Cream> keep us updated as the situation develops
#10
up
22
down
[19:02:00] <Keir|MST3K> Squall
[19:02:13] <Squall_Chitose> yes?
[19:02:26] <Keir|MST3K> If you get shot in Iraq, promise me you'll scream either "Fucking camping bitch!" or "omg, he rolled a natural 20!" ?
#61
up
22
down
[01:35:22] * Squall_Chitose (~jedimaste@SWC-IRC.2930AC62555A87.SWC) has joined #swc-members
[01:35:45] <Cherokee> No.
[01:35:47] <Cherokee> Get out.
[01:38:17] * Rick_Unnis (Rick_Unnis@SWC-IRC.28D46D33E3A7E2.SWC) Quit (Quit: )
[01:38:46] * Squall_Chitose (~jedimaste@SWC-IRC.2930AC62555A87.SWC) Quit (Quit: * Goran_Skirata is now away - Reason : Squall has an unhealthy and disconcerting interest in me)
[01:40:28] * Vussek_Kaos (~vussek@SWC-IRC.E4B5D168BCDB9.SWC) Quit (Quit: <.Gavin> somewhere there is a 1 armed man who is beatin off with one hand, and using his nose to type and surf the sites)
[01:40:35] * Geno (~Geno@SWC-IRC.635C21F8A454C.SWC) Quit (Ping timeout)
[01:41:06] <Cherokee> I didn't mean all of them, just Squall.
#91
up
22
down
[14:16:05] <Panda_Prime> We only converse breifly and in short bursts! That's not knowing someone!
[14:16:36] <Ten> that's the internet equivalent of having shared a bed!
#112
up
22
down
[07:28:49] <Cherokee> ARE YOUR LEGS STILL TIRED SYN
[07:29:07] <Italian_Stallion_Loki> OH MY YES
[07:29:14] <Cherokee> WHY YOU YELLING
[07:29:18] <Italian_Stallion_Loki> YOU STARTED IT
[07:29:34] <Cherokee> YES BECAUSE YOU HAVE BAD INTERNET CONNECTION , WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU HEAR ME
#289
up
23
down
[08:23:48] <Deric_Adams> wtf are you reading?
[08:24:04] <@Superman> nothing go away
[08:24:10] <Deric_Adams> guys, erek is reading 50 shades of grey
[08:24:17] <Deric_Adams> lets all laugh and point at him
[08:24:41] <@Superman> 50 Shades of Grey is a book not a series
[08:24:44] <@Superman> I think
[08:24:46] <@Superman> To google!
[08:24:48] <Deric_Adams> wrong
[08:24:53] <Deric_Adams> there is like 3 books
[08:25:10] <@Superman> ew
[08:25:17] <@Superman> there are three-...
[08:25:24] <@Superman> How'd you know that...
[08:26:06] <Deric_Adams> I um
[08:26:08] <Deric_Adams> uhh
[08:26:13] <Deric_Adams> gotta go!
[08:26:15] * Quits: Deric_Adams (Deric_Adam@swc-irc.cp2.4m6.k0aau8.IP) (Quit: <DA->I saw Srota today, suicide sounds very good right now)
#111
up
23
down
[22:54:21] * Wool (soan@swc-irc.7rf.nm9.rjksk9.IP) has joined #anime
[22:54:25] * Cherokee (tcherokee77@swc-irc.00v.p8l.ulteai.IP) has joined #anime
[22:54:26] <Cherokee> WOOL
[22:54:28] <Wool> CHEROKEE
[22:54:29] <Cherokee> WOOL
[22:54:31] <Wool> CHEROKEE
[22:54:33] <Cherokee> WOOL WOOL WOOL WOOL WOOL
[22:54:35] <Wool> CHEROKEE CHEROKEE CHEROKEE CHEROKEE CHEROKEE
[22:54:37] <Cherokee> DO THE WOOLY BULLY
[22:54:38] <Cherokee> DO IT
[22:54:39] * Wool DOES IT
[22:54:40] <Cherokee> YATAA
[22:54:42] * Cherokee (tcherokee77@swc-irc.00v.p8l.ulteai.IP) has left #anime
[22:54:45] <Wool> big success
[22:54:54] <Wool> back to work
[22:54:59] * Wool (soan@swc-irc.7rf.nm9.rjksk9.IP) has left #anime
[22:55:54] <Kilian> o_o
#131
up
23
down
[23:12:12] <Selatos> var why are you being emo
[23:12:35] <Varfarius> I've got the heart break blues selatos. Sadly, it's not from my girlfriend.
[23:12:53] <Varfarius> Is it bad I feel more betrayed by a server than my own girlfriend when she won't put out?!
[23:13:24] <Selatos> if your server isn't putting out, i feel bad for you son, i got 99 problems, but a misconfig ain't one
#410
up
23
down
<@Loki-cell> She only plays AI mode in heroes of the storm so she's not worth my time
#45
up
24
down
[12:49:29] <Kevin> Man, weekends are pretty popular for piracy, huh?
[12:49:40] <Kevin> Demonoid and TPB seem to both be overloaded
[12:49:46] <Arthur> IC Piracy or bittorrent piracy?
[12:49:48] <Arthur> oh
[12:50:11] <Kevin> I think we all engage in some boat theft over the weekend, that's a given
#51
up
24
down
[15:44:11] <Mikel> I wear boxer-briefs so you can see the outline of my massive package
[15:44:24] <Jenos> Mikel, you're a postman?
[15:44:25] <Thirteen> the spare socks?
[15:44:47] <Thirteen> it was a good idea, but really, four socks?
[15:44:50] <Mikel> The best 4 inches you've ever seen, baby
[15:45:02] <Mikel> I mean... more than that?
#69
up
24
down
[18:06:49] <Cherokee> Today on Facebook, I found out that the girl I thought I had been dating for the past year was actually dating someone else that entire time.
[18:07:09] <Cherokee> I apparently misconstrued the 'xxx xxxxxx is now in a relationship' update last year.
#114
up
24
down
[18:37:11] <Eldrwyn_D`Auvergne> I can almost always tell if a movie doesn't use real dinosaurs
#121
up
24
down
(Kyle Rainer, who recently returned from a multi-year hiatus from SWC..)
[15:18:48] <Zhao> I feel like everyone should have me on colored in their address book
[15:18:54] <Zhao> Everything I say is super important
[15:20:03] * Kyle|Away is now known as Kyle
[15:20:22] <Kyle> somehow your ego has grown since I left
[15:20:37] <Jevon> Its had a long time to grow
[15:20:43] <Loki> I've been a good influence
[15:20:58] <Kyle> I mean in the like 40 minutes I was away
#150
up
24
down
<|||Ashlyana|||> In California you can always find a party, in Soviet Russia, party can always find you.
#166
up
24
down
[18:04:47] <mikel> What is the difference between a woman and a man
[18:04:50] <mikel> er
[18:04:55] <mikel> What is the difference between a wombat and a man
[18:04:58] <Thor> ...
#432
up
24
down
[23:07:59] <Loki> Alternate between swiveling both wrists in opposite directions and stroking your hands upward, twisting your wrists when you reach his head as though you are turning a doorknob. Rub your thumb in a tiny figure-eight pattern over his frenelum... Or try the windshield-wiper move; glide your thumb from side to side along the rim where his head begins, then move your thumb up and over the top of the head several times.
[23:08:14] <Loki> yeah im gonna need a diagram here
[23:08:19] <Russ> That is a lot of detail
[23:08:20] <Twelve> yes, turn that doorknob
[23:08:29] <Russ> Either you are copying this straight or you have attempted this
[23:08:57] <Loki> I'm sitting here with my hands making motions that are disappointingly not obscene but look like I'm trying to summon a demon
[23:09:41] <Russ> And you're not getting anything out of this?
[23:09:55] <Loki> Not even a lesser demon
#288
up
25
down
[19:36:37] <Brand> My dad gave me a birthday card that was signed 'Happy Birthday, please recycling this card, love pop'
[19:37:04] <Brand> So i crossed out Birthday and wrote 'x-mas' and crossed out Pop and wrote 'son'
#46
up
25
down
[13:49:01] <£> Humph.
[13:49:08] <£> I was expecting a picture of your nipple.
[13:49:13] <£> You disappoint me.
[13:49:15] <Ayatollah_Khomo> Do you want one?
[13:49:20] <Mikel> I have one
[13:49:21] <Ayatollah_Khomo> I have one somewhere
[13:49:32] <£> You should have two.
[13:49:39] <£> And the location is pretty standard across all models.
#341
up
25
down
[16:11:55] <Kilian> Lee Lee, Keth is our local night walker
[16:12:30] <Keth> bleh!
[16:12:34] * Keth avoids garlic
[16:12:49] <Kilian> no I meant male prostitue
[16:13:49] <Keth> bleh!
[16:13:54] * Keth avoids the popo
#359
up
25
down
[08:05:01] <selatos> new server, yo
[08:05:45] * Loki strokes it
[17:31:16] <selatos> i only stroke it in private
[17:31:28] <selatos> maybe you need to be more discreet
[17:53:18] <Loki> this is private! It's just me and two other dudes
[18:37:09] <Superman> Did you just assume my gender?
[18:53:45] <Loki> sorry what are your preferred pronouns
[18:54:04] <Loki> I just kinda went by the "man" part of your name but now I realize that was foolish of me and it could simply be a surname
[18:58:31] <Superman> I prefer the guttural sound of man, but my preferred pronouns include 'phi' and 'phur'
[18:58:43] <Superman> My preference of the sound of the word man does not denote my gender
#372
up
25
down
[16:39] <@Ten> https://cdn15.acloudimages.com/36d/f74/389/300x250_30.gif she just keeps typing D:
[16:41] <blackhole> she probably wants to propose you for sex but she is scared of being so direct
[16:42] <blackhole> ignore her. unsecure females are not too good in bed
[16:42] <blackhole> ..or insecure
[16:43] <@Ten> have you had much experience with insecure females in bed?
[16:43] <blackhole> i'm always the insecure female in bed
[16:44] * blackhole is typing...
[16:44] * blackhole is typing...
[16:44] * blackhole is typing...
[16:45] <blackhole> hi?
[16:45] * @Ten is typing...
[16:46] * blackhole is typing...
#377
up
25
down
[23:31:48] * Loki offers a lindor ball
[23:31:48] <Superman> I don't like you.
[23:31:51] <Superman> That much.
[23:31:54] <Loki> oh
[23:31:56] * Loki retracts lindor ball
[23:32:09] <Superman> ... what the hell, at least give me a KISS
[23:32:13] <Loki> I don't have any!
[23:32:14] <Loki> I only have balls
[23:32:23] <Loki> You will take my balls and like it!
[23:32:29] <Superman> ... fine, I'll take one of your balls
[23:32:33] <Loki> they're creme filled
[23:32:38] <Loki> hold on I already put one in my mouth
[23:32:48] <Superman> But I want one in mine D:
[23:32:56] <Loki> ok this one is really white
[23:33:02] <Superman> kk
[23:33:19] * Loki inserts into Superman's mouth
[23:33:41] * Superman starts
[23:33:48] <Coleman> so you each have a ball in your mouths?
[23:33:50] * Loki finishes
[23:33:55] <dot> This is the worst cyber I've ever read
#380
up
25
down
[00:28:28] <Loki> whoa whoa dont go spreading around to everyone that I'd fuck literally anyone
[00:29:11] <Kez> If you didnt want ppl thinking that then you shouldnt be showing up at swap meets with yours hands full of booty
[00:29:28] <Loki> I showed up with my hands almost empty, but then people kept putting things in them, like drinks, and their asses
[00:29:52] <Kez> I saw plenty of grabbing Syn
[00:29:55] <Kez> you little cheater
[00:30:04] <Loki> It's not cheating if I lie about it and pretend like it didn't happen
[00:30:27] <Kez> Man, that just hits every form of corruption and rules breaking this game has seen
[00:30:32] <Loki> I like to be efficient

prev12345next