[03:17:23] <Light> That's pretty much my favorite part of SWC. Something completely insignificant and random occurs and e-people start psychologically profiling you.
[03:17:46] <Pozz> it's phrases like that that get you branded a corpse-banger
[03:17:48] <Sleek> yeah, i agree with the rapist

[19:13:03] <blackhole> alright, crtl+q quits
[19:13:54] <blackhole> i better won't keep trying to find text styles like crtl+b by trial and error just so i don't find some crtl combo to dcc all my goat porn to all server users

<Keir> I have enough terrorists and their families on my cellphone that I'm sure I'm on a watchlist myself somewhere.
<Dante> Impressive, though I'm not sure why you would want to have terrorists in your contacts.
<Daktal> I bet it impresses girls.
<Lisa_Dent> "Hey baby what's your number, I'll put it right beneath Muqtada al-Sadr. Yeah, we club, s'cool."

[23:02] <Clarr> I do, but first admit you're talking out of your ass
[23:02] <Clarr> go on, I'm waiting
[23:02] <Bane> Is that physically possible?
[23:03] <Keir> I admit that I am talking out of my ass, though it seems my ass has outwitted you

[18:27:39] <%blackhole> that was some nice interracial homoerotic historical dream
[18:29:30] <DK> stop dreaming with hutts
[18:31:15] <%blackhole> it did take place in butt space
[18:33:13] <DK> :O
[18:33:19] <DK> Nal Butta?
[18:42:08] <%blackhole> 55 days at Nal Butta
[18:42:39] <%blackhole> it was a strange setting for a dream... i'm not even sure if i ever finished watching that (at pekin) movie
[18:42:59] <%blackhole> peking*
[18:50:08] <%blackhole> so anyway, the awkward moment was when i was exploring a black soldier's body for leechs in an oriental sauna in the middle of a desert town
[18:50:30] <Keth> well did you find any
[18:56:01] <%blackhole> yea! \o/
[18:56:23] <%blackhole> and i pretty much woke up there, which was sad
[18:56:31] <%blackhole> it was being a great adventure before the leeches check up

[23:17:22] <Ten> voldemort would've had a lot fewer problems if he wasn't such an asshole #SoRelatable

[09:12:26] <Loki|starkphone> Penis you die of exhaustion or something
[09:12:27] <Loki|starkphone> ..
[09:12:31] <Loki|starkphone> Or if*
[09:13:01] <Loki|starkphone> I don't have toilette syndrome
[09:13:07] <Loki|starkphone> Yeah my phone don't know that word

[12:59:02] <@Minty_Cream> oh hey, my godswood is bleeding
[13:00:15] <Azarin> You might want to get a doctor to look at that

[21:17:23] <Loki> I'm pretty sure I'm just utterly incapable of eating spaghetti without getting more of it on my chin than into my mouth.
[21:17:58] <Squall_Chitose> funnest part of eatin' sketti!
[21:18:20] <Squall_Chitose> just slam your face down into a bowl and suck your way to freedom.
[21:18:37] <Loki> Now explain how to eat spaghetti, Squall!
[21:18:52] <Squall_Chitose> much the same way, but with less dicks.

[22:16:05] <Keir> Honestly, if I send Dreighton an eMail with a bug, you know something like "Faction Creation seems to be down", I don't expect it fixed for a good 3 months in the fucking first place, I hardly need a "I'm going grocery shopping, I'll check my eMails when I get back" announcement
[22:16:08] * Phryss is afk: Peeing. Logging: [on] Pager: [on]

[21:23:43] <Cherokee> In addition to wooden shoes, the Netherlands is also famous for their wooden socks.

<Minty_Cream> : clearly
<Minty_Cream> : anyone can post about books in general talk
<Minty_Cream> : AND THEY CAME EN MASSE
<Minty_Cream> : if you build it they will come, indeed
<Sadatsu> : I knew a girl who came in Mass once. It was....awkward.

[13:18] <Light> oh, and don't handle jalapeno peppers then touch your asshole.
[13:19] <Crog> why
[13:19] <Light> it hurts
[13:19] <Crog> why
[13:19] <Squall_Chitose> BURNS SO BAD
[13:19] <Teyacapan> yes, don't handle peppers with your asshole

[13:17:21] <DA> hmm, sure, ill call a doctor if i have an erection lasting longer than four hours... to brag

[19:07:24] <Cherokee> 7:30 WHY SO LATE FINAL
[19:07:33] <Syn> no clue
[19:07:40] <Syn> it's scheduled for 8pm for some reason
[19:07:43] <Syn> I miss raid for it ]:
[19:07:43] <Syn> so rude
[19:07:57] <Cherokee> you like only one invited, and its in professor's office and he gave you key and you find candles lit and rose petals
[19:08:04] <Syn> hahaha
[19:08:06] <Syn> creepy
[19:08:09] <Cherokee> totally
[19:08:14] <Cherokee> that only happen to me once
[19:08:20] <Cherokee> easiest A i ever got

[16:38:42] <Mikel> People seem to get pissed when you blow up a planet with a death star, for some reason.
[16:40:24] <Tarrok> Not the people on the planet you've blown up.
[16:40:33] <Tarrok> I think the solution is evident.

<Mikel> You include one anal fisting scene and you lose all credibility with some people

[16:16:08] <Keir> Post-vasectomy pain syndrome. This is a very rare condition (approximately 1 in 10,000) where you get some dropping of the testicles after surgery (a few millimeters not meters) and an associated chronic pain, like someone continually pulling on your testicles. If this happens your days of boxers shorts are over and you will need good, supportive underwear.
[16:16:09] <Keir> hot
[16:16:50] <Phryss> I like the second parenthetical.
[16:17:05] <Phryss> As though someone would expect his testicles to drop a number of meters.
[16:17:49] <Phryss> "Oh, don't mind that. My scrotum just drags along the floor behind me since my vasectomy. Sometimes I trip over it. >: /"

[15:56:42] <Cherokee> I think the reason I was so unpopular at school is I'd not only occasionally crap in my pants, but I'd occasionally crap in other kids' pants too.

[01:55:59] <Squall_Chitose> I'd be like "Hey 16 year old slut, you want an A? You gotta earn it"
[01:56:08] <Squall_Chitose> thats why they won't let me be a teacher.
[01:56:12] <Selatos> "... by getting all of the answers correct on this test."

[19:15:16] <Deric_Adams> im going to bed, good night you beautifully ugly people
[19:15:25] <Mikel> DA don't leave me
[19:15:39] <Mikel> If I come to richmond can we fuck or no
[19:16:04] <Mikel> I'm being serious because I think I have to come there like in a month
[19:16:10] <Mikel> And I'd like to come there when I come there
[19:16:13] <Mikel> if you know what I mean

[17:27:06] <Phryss> Oh!
[17:27:07] <Phryss> Keir!
[17:27:15] <Phryss> I saw a girl today that reminded me of you.
[17:27:20] <Keir|NEW-GNS|Crap> !
[17:27:26] <Phryss> She had these ice packs on her shoulders
[17:27:32] <Keir|NEW-GNS|Crap> ^.-
[17:27:42] <Phryss> And they were being held in place by, like, saran wrap.
[17:27:49] <Keir|NEW-GNS|Crap> ...
[17:28:08] <Phryss> And the saran wrap wrapped tightly around her chest so her boobs were all squashed and invisible.
[17:28:15] <Phryss> The end.

[00:02:33] * Kay_Bon poof
[00:02:41] <Kay_Bon> hello all
[00:03:21] * Kay_Bon poof
[00:03:46] <Kay_Bon> i am too fast to be attacked now
[00:03:57] <Saitam> the poof indicates speed.
[00:04:26] * Kay_Bon poof dis apears
[00:05:06] * Squall_Chitose poops
[00:05:12] <Saitam> the poop indicates feces.

<Jacob_Jansen> Anyone up to the task of writing up some IU history for me?
<King_Tylger> One day Vodo was like "Ohai, Hapes. SSD for your loyalty." Hapes goes "Lolz, k." Then other people thought were like "Free shit!" and joined. The End.

[17:51:39] <Supermom> not enough patriot
[17:52:07] <Loki> amateurs
[17:52:12] <Loki> im wearing american flag underwear right now
[17:52:30] <Supermom> As proud as I am, I so did not need to know that.
[17:52:34] <Loki> well technically i just ran out of underwear so I cleverly folded an american flag into the approximate shape and secured it with scotch tape
[17:52:41] <Supermom> I...
[17:52:46] <Supermom> I'm going to kill you...
[17:53:00] <Loki> that's fine, that's a perfectly normal reaction

[13:46:14] <.Loki-> Don't be jealous of the golden nightmare
[13:46:19] <.Loki-> And my nocturnal assassin
[13:46:26] * .Loki- urinates aggressively
[13:46:28] <.Loki-> ..
[13:46:43] <.Loki-> My phone is automatically filling in "aggressively" after I urinate
[13:46:45] <.Loki-> Sweet

[15:43:05] <Laz|away> and by the way, what prompted this war in the first place?
[15:44:43] <Keir> Frezt's refusal to sign a treaty and grant Eidola one planet in Kathol space
[15:45:23] <Laz|away> and what did you need a planet in Kathol space for?
[15:45:57] <Keir> raising tauntauns
[15:46:57] <Laz|away> wouldn't one normally do that on Hoth.....in Churba?
[15:47:33] <Keir> We capture them in Hoth, and raise them in Kathol
[15:47:41] <Laz|away> and what happened to that story of a bridge between your territories?
[15:47:53] <Keir> lies concocted by our enemies to discredit us
[15:47:59] <Keir> we are simple tauntaun farmers

[21:20:51] <LT_Kylani> Major Black, Mind a pm
[21:21:25] <Greg_Black> Go ahead.
[21:22:31] <LT_Kylani> I officially regret asking Sir :p
[21:23:41] <Greg_Black> You asked, thus you recieved an answer. Not my fault you didn't expand upon what you meant by 'how I'm hanging'.

<Darwyn_family_bonding> "2nd place is a shiny new and highly sought after viper, this baby is in preteen condition and ready to go"
<Lex_von_Ismay> :o
<Lex_von_Ismay> lol
<Darwyn_family_bonding> preteen condition?
<Darwyn_family_bonding> wow
<Rehon_Mosspim> well, that's a typo lol
<Rehon_Mosspim> pristine, preteen, what's the diffrence
<Rehon_Mosspim> well, that's our faction, we love the miners

[22:40:03] <blackhole> when i was a child, i had a lazy eye but then it spreaded to my whole person. that's why i'm so lazy now

[11:01:07] <Paparrin> i turn ac on and it makes like eeeeeeeeeek for 2 blocks, then quiet down and oh boy. is heaven

[21:44:09] <Cherokee> james bond beat abraham lincoln at the box office
[21:44:22] <Cherokee> boy it was a bad week for republicans all around
--
[22:39:59] <Cherokee> steven speilberg's Lincoln is in theaters now
[22:40:06] <Cherokee> traditionally, not a good place for him

[17:18:07] <swcdiscord1> <Ho Ho Honest Jic> listen, I'm not going to drive across america to go to my godmothers house just whip out my dick in front of her dog for scale

[00:38:58] <blackhole> good news everyone. i can communicate with my cat via morse farting

[19:03:30] <blackhole> i heard so many wonderful stories about everywhere-butspain conn
[19:03:46] <blackhole> buttspain
[19:03:52] <blackhole> ah nm hehe

[14:39:12] <blackhole> well, i was almost eaten by a grua if that counts
[14:39:27] <blackhole> but i guess i should add grua means crane
[14:39:35] <.selatos> the bird or the construction vehicle
[14:40:01] <blackhole> construction
[14:40:08] <blackhole> i always preemptively hide from birds

[15:41:32] <Thirteen> well, I skipped my chemical romance
[15:42:42] <Jenos> Skipping's for girls or boxers. Are you a girl or a boxer?
[15:42:57] <Mikel> I wear boxers, does that count?
[15:43:01] <Light> Only if you're a girl.
[15:43:06] <Thirteen> I dated a girl boxer once
[15:43:13] <Light> Like, a female dog?
[15:43:23] <Thirteen> no, like a human female that boxes
[15:43:34] <Jenos> worked in a warehouse?

[16:09] <Pozz_Umgee> if I had a nickel for everytime Ten tried to get me to talk about my penis, I'd have like a buck twenty
[16:09] <.Syn> That's oddly specific
[16:09] <Pozz_Umgee> you don't keep track?
[16:09] <Pozz_Umgee> I'm keeping it in my online rape journal

[01:35:25] <G`no> If the days comes when we all go to prison for downloading music 'illegally', I hope they seperate us by genre.
[02:22:59] <G`no> The first two guys thought SUperman was a bird or a plane... why the heck were they excited?
[02:48:48] <G`no> I;m going to district 9 and 3 quarters.
[16:49:25] <G`no> If you took all the Twilight fans and laid them end to end around the equator, a lot of them would drown, get run over, or eaten by lions, so it's a really good idea.
[17:45:39] <G`no> Whenever a bird craps on my car, I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my porch to let them know what I'm capable of.
[21:59:04] <G`no> I hate it when I'm singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong
[00:06:37] <G`no> If you take a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back?
[00:06:43] <G`no> I NEED AN ANSWER MUCH FASTER!!!
[20:01:13] <G`no> i can't wait to go back to england and open a time capsule i buried when i was 10
[20:01:25] <G`no> i wanna see how big my puppy got
[20:13:30] <G`no> Ugh, I hate bragging about my financial status, but I have to say, my credit card company keeps calling me to tell me my balance is outstanding!

[22:42:21] <Cherokee> pink cotton candy
[22:42:27] <Cherokee> yes , i ate you all first
[22:42:30] <Cherokee> you disappoint me
[22:42:33] <Cherokee> blue is way better
[22:42:36] <Cherokee> blue cotton candy
[22:42:40] <Cherokee> i saved you for last
[22:42:57] <Cherokee> lets take our time , and go slow... i know you'll make the enjoyment so much sweeter for me
[22:45:44] * Cherokee turns down the lights
[22:45:56] * Cherokee snuggles bag close
[22:46:39] * Cherokee reaches hand into the opening and teases a soft fluffy piece of cloudy heaven free and puts it in his mouth to let it dissolve into blissful sweetness

[12:00:11] <Var> I see you're still pretending that your phone adds a period after words, Primun.
[12:01:09] <Primun> I turned off all autocorrect shit
[12:01:23] <Var> Then how is that period getting in there?!
[12:01:46] <Primun> Because the period is right beside the fucjing period button for fucks sake.
[12:01:52] <Primun> Wait
[12:01:53] <Primun> What
[12:01:56] <Primun> Hold on

[11:22:15] <Loki> hello how can we help you
[11:22:46] <Luke_Whitelock> did you send me mail I get maill with no name ?
[11:24:13] <Luke_Whitelock> I can't find out who it is
[11:24:19] <Jevon> screenshot it
[11:24:52] <Loki> are you talking about a darkness message
[11:25:39] <Luke_Whitelock> yes
[11:25:54] <Jevon> THere has to be a name, as there are no anonymous messages
[11:25:56] <Luke_Whitelock> I can't do screenshot
[11:26:03] <Jevon> Why not
[11:26:17] <Luke_Whitelock> its off
[11:26:25] <Jevon> WHats off
[11:26:45] <Luke_Whitelock> screenshot you can have it off

[19:34:58] <Mr_Tel> I'll even dip my balls in marinara sauce just so those bastards can have a taste of home while they're at it!
[19:35:19] <Asa> ...
[19:36:03] <Mr_Tel> c'mon guess what movie that's from!
[19:37:51] <Shado> The Papa John's training video?

[20:14] <Squall_Chitose> I only let people in my clan that I like.
[20:14] <Squall_Chitose> :D
[20:15] <Squall_Chitose> except deric, he got in on sexual talent.
[20:15] <DA> I give good head
[20:15] <Varlathotep> It's true, he does.
[20:15] <Varlathotep> Squall doesn't know this but I was in the closet as Deric gave him head.
[20:16] <DA> oh yeah
[20:16] <Varlathotep> I will say it was quite glorious.
[20:16] <DA> I can suck a garden hose through golfball
[20:16] <DA> wait
[20:16] <DA> i said that wrong
[20:16] <Varlathotep> ...
[20:16] <Uli> LOL
[20:16] <Varlathotep> That is some sucking talent
[20:16] <DA> or did I?
[20:16] <Uli> I...
[20:16] <Samantha_Umbra> :o
[20:17] <Varlathotep> If you managed to such a hose through a solid object that is fucking impressive.
[20:17] <DA> I can't breath right now im laughing so hard
[20:17] <Varlathotep> Someone has to quote that >.>
[20:17] <.Loki|starkphone> That's not all that's hard

[17:17:48] <Adam_Zad> "While skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad."

[00:03:00] <Maw|BUSY-BRB> The other day even in southern Alberta there are hardly any I think I saw 5 two days ago... and -40 for 2 weeks is not "cool" -20 is cool :P
[00:04:02] <Cherokee> Your choice in structuring that sentence leads me to make the preliminary diagnosis that you've recently suffered a stroke.

[22:23:12] <Carlisle> Hmm. My best man speech is clocking in at 5 minutes 10 seconds. I think I need to trim some of it.
[22:23:17] <Carlisle> Or speed up the delivery.
[22:31:58] <Twelve> just remove every single pause
[22:32:44] <Carlisle> But those are the spots I breathe.
[22:33:18] <Twelve> ugh
[22:33:27] <Twelve> just do it like they do in those high school debate teams
[22:33:34] <Twelve> just one hickup and done
[22:33:49] <Carlisle> What, be socially awkward and a minority?
[22:33:53] <Carlisle> oh

[00:11] <Asa> pretty sure my in character daddy is dead
[00:11] <@JohnnyFox> Luke thought the same thing.

[21:45:59] * Castur (elm@swc-irc.6jd.9ga.crg6t2.IP) has joined #swc-members
[21:46:09] <Castur> Hey cuties
[21:46:18] * Torryn makes out with Casturs leg
[21:46:27] * Var makes out with Castur
[21:46:43] <Koras> Get a room
[21:46:46] * Torryn bets Castur feels lucky
[21:47:03] <Castur> Yeah I wasn't really expecting that kind of response to be completely honest.

[22:19:24] <Thresk> Guys
[22:19:26] <Thresk> Save ne
[22:19:27] <Thresk> Me
[22:20:07] <Thresk> Save me
[22:21:19] <Thresk> Guys make me feel better
[22:21:42] <Twelve> if guys make you feel better then you should just go find some guys..