[13:28] <Greyson> i've never lost my virginity because I never lose

[00:28:28] <Loki> whoa whoa dont go spreading around to everyone that I'd fuck literally anyone
[00:29:11] <Kez> If you didnt want ppl thinking that then you shouldnt be showing up at swap meets with yours hands full of booty
[00:29:28] <Loki> I showed up with my hands almost empty, but then people kept putting things in them, like drinks, and their asses
[00:29:52] <Kez> I saw plenty of grabbing Syn
[00:29:55] <Kez> you little cheater
[00:30:04] <Loki> It's not cheating if I lie about it and pretend like it didn't happen
[00:30:27] <Kez> Man, that just hits every form of corruption and rules breaking this game has seen
[00:30:32] <Loki> I like to be efficient

[23:49:21] <Kivan_Hamner> Twas the night before Christmas and all throughout the house
[23:49:29] <Kivan_Hamner> the AC was blowing, cause I live in the South

[22:19] <.Loki-cell> Typical Jewish
[22:19] <.Loki-cell> Jedi
[22:19] <.Loki-cell> Not Jewish
[22:19] <.Loki-cell> Accidental racism my bad

< blackhole> iirc, simplified chinese appears too simplified, though... like empty boxes

[14:33:56] <Hank> how you get testes if your force
[14:34:12] <Raidan> Most guys are born with testes
[14:34:20] <Raidan> Doesn't need the force :S
[14:34:56] <Hank> test***
[14:34:58] <Hank> sorry lol

[19:34:01] <Arjuna> Genital jousting is on sale, and my grandma gave me a card for christmas with steam wallet money
[19:34:12] <Arjuna> I... think she just bought me this game....

< blackhole> i don't even know what the avian flu feels like because the separatist catalonains are keeping it all for themselves

[23:34:42] <Loki> Speaking of creepy animal behaviors, Cherokee
[23:34:57] <Loki> My dog sometimes stands right next to my chair (like right now) and stares at the same spot of blank white wall (like right now)
[23:35:08] <Loki> just stands there for several minutes staring, his ears pricked
[23:35:14] <Loki> sometimes he ventures slowly closer and sniffs a little
[23:35:17] <Ten> oh, I have that problem in morrowind
[23:35:19] <Loki> sometimes he just stares
[23:35:31] <Ten> it occurs when there isn't an AI path defined
[23:35:44] <Ten> just adjust your room's pathing and it'll be fine

[18:03:06] <@Superman> I regularly regret letting people know I have freetime within moments of hitting send
[18:03:57] <.selatos> oh perfect you have some free time
[18:04:05] <.selatos> i need you to collate 1000 information packets for this business meeting
[18:04:13] <.selatos> they're in a heap, in random order, in the copy room
[18:05:28] <@Superman> do I get CPs?
[18:05:55] <.selatos> sure same amount as i pay for everything else you do
[18:07:07] <@Superman> ...touché...

[18:20:15] <Loki> I'm a little disappointed, I wanted to go to auschwitz but apparently that will not be an option
[18:20:27] <selatos> why not?
[18:20:53] <Baugrems> Founders are not allowed back on the property

[19:11:55] * Superman considers outing Syn
[19:15:34] <selatos> as what
[19:15:56] <selatos> a vampire? a homosexual? a tortured teenage soul?
[19:16:07] <selatos> a falleen?
[19:23:04] <Superman> even worse
[19:23:11] <Superman> a german speaker

[19:18:02] <Loki> home is where you fully understand how the shower works
[19:20:54] <Kez> home is where everyone vacates because you don't properly shower and bathe yourself
[19:21:17] <Loki> That's most rooms, isn't it? Or do I just live everywhere
[19:22:03] <Kez> You may be homeless.

[10:57:42] <Baugrems> Kay you just shattered my view of your perfection and robotic nature
[10:58:04] <+Kay_Dallben> Oh that explains why you kept trying to cyber with me - you thought I was a robot.

<@Loki-cell> She only plays AI mode in heroes of the storm so she's not worth my time

[10:03:42] <Loki-cell> My phone informs me I'm driving right now.
[10:03:46] * Loki-cell sits motionless
[10:05:22] <Twelve> that's usually how it works when you're driving
[10:07:03] <Loki-cell> But I'm not moving at all! Except for how the planet is moving
[10:07:09] <Loki-cell> Like through space
[10:07:16] <Loki-cell> But relative to the planet I am motionless
[10:08:05] <Twelve> everyone looks like they're motionless when you zoom out far enough

[22:19:24] <Thresk> Guys
[22:19:26] <Thresk> Save ne
[22:19:27] <Thresk> Me
[22:20:07] <Thresk> Save me
[22:21:19] <Thresk> Guys make me feel better
[22:21:42] <Twelve> if guys make you feel better then you should just go find some guys..

[22:58:39] <Dalovan_Lombardo> How was the race Blackhole?
[22:59:03] <blackhole> i finished it and didn't end the 8000th so that's great
[22:59:22] <Dalovan_Lombardo> Good good
[23:00:03] <blackhole> and how are you? tell me about yourself
[23:00:06] * blackhole (blackhole@swc-irc.7do.9pm.1cvv54.IP) Quit (Quit: <Loki> past. Help! My scientist friend showed me his time machine, which keeps sending me three seconds into the)
[23:01:43] * blackhole (blackhole@swc-irc.7do.9pm.1cvv54.IP) has joined #SWC-Members
[23:01:58] <Dalovan_Lombardo> Why do he keep leaving :-(
[23:02:49] <blackhole> it's called conceptual art
[23:03:23] <Dalovan_Lombardo> Hmm
[23:03:26] <Mora> It is called fatherhood
[23:03:28] <blackhole> also, this way, i never know if you are pregnant

<Loki> I put my pants on like anybody else: when I absolutely have to and not always then

[01:20:24] <.selatos> so weird
[01:20:26] <.selatos> all of you
[01:20:45] <@Loki> NAME ONE TIME
[01:21:03] <@Loki> my arms feel like someone is blowing on them with their mouth open

[16:53:26] <selatos> this isn't like sex
[16:53:34] <selatos> the faster you finish the more you can do it
[16:53:48] <Loki> how is that not like sex
[16:54:18] <selatos> everyone is happier when sex is not the shortest possible
[16:54:27] <Loki> but you can still do it more the faster you finish!
[16:54:29] <Loki> its efficient
[16:54:32] <Loki> if your goal is as many sex as possible
[16:54:41] <Loki> the refractory period starts earlier, but it also ends earlier!
[16:54:52] <Loki> or as I like to call it, the global cooldown
[16:54:53] <selatos> but then your girl gets annoyed and leaves
[16:55:04] <selatos> so total time spent sexing is shorter
[16:55:05] <Loki> that just means you didnt secure the handcuffs well enough

[23:07:59] <Loki> Alternate between swiveling both wrists in opposite directions and stroking your hands upward, twisting your wrists when you reach his head as though you are turning a doorknob. Rub your thumb in a tiny figure-eight pattern over his frenelum... Or try the windshield-wiper move; glide your thumb from side to side along the rim where his head begins, then move your thumb up and over the top of the head several times.
[23:08:14] <Loki> yeah im gonna need a diagram here
[23:08:19] <Russ> That is a lot of detail
[23:08:20] <Twelve> yes, turn that doorknob
[23:08:29] <Russ> Either you are copying this straight or you have attempted this
[23:08:57] <Loki> I'm sitting here with my hands making motions that are disappointingly not obscene but look like I'm trying to summon a demon
[23:09:41] <Russ> And you're not getting anything out of this?
[23:09:55] <Loki> Not even a lesser demon

[16:54:29] <Cherokee> the trick to not cry when chopping onions is to not form an emotional bond

<@Klinger> It took me half the day to get those RM's back to that person :P
<.selatos> not bad
<@Klinger> It would have taken me less if I knew I could just spawn them :P
<@Baugrems> What were you doing? Mining for it
<@Baugrems> ??
<@Sidway> He purchased them from DEEPCORE
<@Sidway> And then flew them all the way back in his hyper 10 Acclamator

<blackhole> damn it. i got drunk yesterday and i apparently got a job

[08:42:14] <Kez> this bot is like the greatest relevent fox provider I've ever seen
[08:43:02] <Lokitty> How many relevant fox providers have you seen, kez?
[08:43:09] <Lokitty> Because I feel that might be a low bar
[08:43:20] <Kez> I drink to forget the former fox providers
[08:43:33] <Kez> Highly let down by the misleading Fox News
[08:43:41] <Kez> barely provides any foxes!
[08:43:50] <Lokitty> Ah that was your first mistake, expecting fox news to provide you with foxes, or news

[17:18:07] <swcdiscord1> <Ho Ho Honest Jic> listen, I'm not going to drive across america to go to my godmothers house just whip out my dick in front of her dog for scale

<Cherokee> Ejaculation
<Cherokee> Love explosion on your face
<Cherokee> eat up, fridge empty

<Twelve> You have declined: Mad Manny
<Twelve> mad lad
<Manny> hi
<Anax> Hi
<Manny> not sure if I'min the rigth place but Im' having problems with my handle

[12:42:17] <@ArjunAway> how can I be hot and cold at the same time?
[12:42:23] <@ArjunAway> I'm shivering and sweating
[12:42:41] <@Sid> Meth is a hell of a drug

[18:38:11] <mikelsewhere> I want mine to say EAT PORG HERE
[18:38:53] <Kez> I missed what that is in response to
[18:39:07] <Kez> I imagine we are all getting matching tramp stamps

<Mikel> yeah my surface is literally as thin as my Galaxy S6
<Mikel> 2 pounds I think
<Jic> pounds are a measure of force, not thinness
<Rawth> He means how many hammer pounds it can survive

[20:21:00] <Mikel> Tomas I ordered one of those keychain things that's made from the skin of a southwest 737
[20:21:27] <Mikel> Still waiting on my syn skin version
[20:21:43] <Loki> wait that doesn't grow back
[20:22:11] <Mikel> It's ok they just bolt a new section on
[20:22:19] <Mikel> Wait did you mean your skin
[20:22:30] <Mikel> ...it's ok they just bolt a new section on
[20:22:38] <Loki> :(

[17:51:39] <Supermom> not enough patriot
[17:52:07] <Loki> amateurs
[17:52:12] <Loki> im wearing american flag underwear right now
[17:52:30] <Supermom> As proud as I am, I so did not need to know that.
[17:52:34] <Loki> well technically i just ran out of underwear so I cleverly folded an american flag into the approximate shape and secured it with scotch tape
[17:52:41] <Supermom> I...
[17:52:46] <Supermom> I'm going to kill you...
[17:53:00] <Loki> that's fine, that's a perfectly normal reaction

<Mikel> You include one anal fisting scene and you lose all credibility with some people

[13:56:09] <@Ten> oh syn, remember when you asked me to keep a look out for shows that feature human+goat relations
[13:56:12] <@Ten> this one does

[21:17:23] <Loki> I'm pretty sure I'm just utterly incapable of eating spaghetti without getting more of it on my chin than into my mouth.
[21:17:58] <Squall_Chitose> funnest part of eatin' sketti!
[21:18:20] <Squall_Chitose> just slam your face down into a bowl and suck your way to freedom.
[21:18:37] <Loki> Now explain how to eat spaghetti, Squall!
[21:18:52] <Squall_Chitose> much the same way, but with less dicks.