All

prev12345next

#215
up
26
down
[19:15:48] <mikelsewhere> The Jewish kids at my school were always the teachers favourites. No one else got given gold stars.
#218
up
83
down
[00:19:22] <Uli> This room is not for being buttbuddies with people
[00:19:54] <Loki> also dont listen to uli, i have a lot of butt buddies in here
[00:20:06] <Uli> He does.
[00:20:08] <Uli> Can confirm
[00:20:12] <Loki> I have a lot of anal amigos
[00:20:26] <Uli> They give him rectal massages.
[00:20:30] <Loki> I have many posterior partners
[00:20:31] <blerkherl> So many butt buddies
[00:20:50] <Keth> fanny friends
[00:20:55] * blerkherl does the secret butt shake
[00:21:09] <Selatos> 4 variants, i'm impressed
[00:21:10] <Loki> I have many keister kompanions
[00:21:15] <Loki> I'M STILL WORKING ON IT
[00:21:17] <Selatos> ...a stretch but i'll take it
[00:21:23] <Loki> i have many hiney hermanos
[00:21:25] <Keth> Bottom Brothers
[00:21:39] <Loki> caboose comrades
[00:21:39] <Somethingsomething> Prostate Pals?
[00:21:52] <Keth> Ass Associates
#219
up
39
down
[19:46:28] <@mikelsewhere> Boy Sentenced to Jail Because of Large Penis
[19:46:29] <@mikelsewhere> A Russian court tried a 13-year-old as an adult based on the size of his genitals
[19:46:37] <Sigmund_von_Ismay> Well shit.
[19:46:46] <Sigmund_von_Ismay> I'm going to be tried like a black man.
[19:47:10] <@mikelsewhere> Presumed guilty and murdered on the street it is, then
#222
up
114
down
<@Twelve> did you just compare my anus to hitler?!
<+Loki> I .. didn't not compare your anus to hitler
<@Twelve> bloody heil, that pisses me off
<+Loki> ann frankly you shouldn't stand for it
<@Twelve> I won't, I'm fuhrious
<+Loki> I did nazi that coming
<@Twelve> nazi jokes are reich up your alley, eh
<+Loki> they're hitlerious!
<@Twelve> I can only gas at the amount of time you spend thinking these up
<+Loki> I can do it from mein kampfy bed
<@Twelve> well, this won't be goring anywhere productive
<+Loki> Don't lie, you know you goebbel these up
<@Twelve> I do, but I don't want jew to burn yourself out
<+Loki> Relax, I know dietrich to all of this. God of cryptic lols and all
<@Twelve> I suppose you ARE the reich person for this job
<+Loki> I will not stand führ you recycling your previous puns!
<@Twelve> what puns?! I do nazi what jew are talking about
* Loki serenades Ten with "don't jewish your boyfriend was hot like me"
<@Twelve> jew should probably gestappo listening to that pop music, step out of your kampfort zone once in a while
<+Loki> Auschwitz, I forgot to eat again. I'm gonna go make some luftwaffles. Guess I don't need the oven for that
#224
up
25
down
[11:08:45] <Mikel> I don't bake a lot but when i do I try to find a recipe that goes by weight
[11:08:52] <Mikel> a cup of flour can vary immensely
[11:08:53] <Azarin> To me, cup means "grab whatever cup from the cupboard which is too small to drink from"
[11:09:10] <Mikel> Well that's just stupid, a cup is a defined measurement
[11:09:17] <Mikel> but it's only good for liquids
[11:09:43] <Mikel> Then you have BS like "a cup of brown sugar (loosely/tightly) packed"
[11:10:12] <Claven> You say that, but is it a coffee cup, or one of those little cappuchino cups, or a world cup? It doesn´t say! *kitchenfire*
[11:11:44] <Azarin> Haha, "use your 1994 world cup to measure the sugar. If you weren't part of the Brazil national team in that year, use a replica"
#226
up
19
down
[16:11:12] <Chermobyl> Don't spray like an anal.
[16:11:13] <Chermobyl> ...
[16:11:13] <Selatos> you're basically a nighttime prowler though
[16:11:15] <Chermobyl> Animal
[16:11:19] <blackhole> haha
[16:11:23] <Minty_Cream> don't spray like an anal either though
[16:11:33] <blackhole> please, spray like an anal
[16:12:09] <Loki-> Fuck you all for making me laugh in a dead silent room filled with people
[16:12:09] <Chermobyl> You can't handle the poop
[16:12:09] <blackhole> hahaha
[16:12:24] <Clark_Kent> Hahaha
[16:12:49] <Minty_Cream> keep us updated as the situation develops
#229
up
11
down
[13:46:14] <.Loki-> Don't be jealous of the golden nightmare
[13:46:19] <.Loki-> And my nocturnal assassin
[13:46:26] * .Loki- urinates aggressively
[13:46:28] <.Loki-> ..
[13:46:43] <.Loki-> My phone is automatically filling in "aggressively" after I urinate
[13:46:45] <.Loki-> Sweet
#235
up
85
down
[11:29:03] <blackhole> my to-do list just keeps growing and growing larger cause i never placed "do my to-do" list in it
#240
up
28
down
[23:28:44] <Selatos> yo ucan milk anything with nipples
[23:28:58] <Twelve> I've never tried milking anyone with my nipples
#242
up
27
down
[11:49:01] <Squall_Chitose> I asked my friend if his mom was a sewer....
[11:49:05] <Squall_Chitose> I meant somebody who sews.
#243
up
90
down
[10:02:03] <Loki> GUESS WHAT THIS DEAD RANCOR JUST DROPPED
[10:02:36] <Thirteen> is it nothing?
[10:03:11] <Loki> It is nothing. :/
[10:03:18] <Thirteen> what do I get for winning?
[10:03:29] <Loki> 100% of the loot this dead rancor just dropped
[10:03:35] <Thirteen> and I didn't even have to kill a rancor for it
#244
up
34
down
[11:54:02] <Deric_Adams> who else is playing?
[11:56:57] * Kelmanis_Vaan (Kelmanis@super.soldier) has joined #SWC-Members
[11:57:09] <Clark_Kent> Uh
[11:57:15] <Clark_Kent> Me and three random dudes
[11:57:22] <Kelmanis_Vaan> Go on.
[11:57:34] <Kelmanis_Vaan> Is this a story or request?
#245
up
11
down
[19:15:16] <Deric_Adams> im going to bed, good night you beautifully ugly people
[19:15:25] <Mikel> DA don't leave me
[19:15:39] <Mikel> If I come to richmond can we fuck or no
[19:16:04] <Mikel> I'm being serious because I think I have to come there like in a month
[19:16:10] <Mikel> And I'd like to come there when I come there
[19:16:13] <Mikel> if you know what I mean
#246
up
44
down
[08:18:39] <Selatos> also we're looking at more credit sinks in game, my suggestion was an actual sink that deducts a random percentage of your credits when you interact with it
#247
up
46
down
[21:17:49] <TembreFell> my soda exploded, but with my quick reflexes I was able to contain it to my arms, shirt, pants, and the chair I was sitting on. Phew!
#248
up
34
down
[00:47:36] <blackhole> oh, ukrania dissolved the gov too
[00:48:10] <blackhole> man, the re-enablement of member requirements is screwing everyone
#252
up
7
down
[23:07:47] <Keth> beating the emu sounds like it would be australian slang for jacking off
#258
up
43
down
[22:21:08] <Loki> Over the past few days I learned that I have a lot in common with Sel's cat
[22:21:13] <selatos> it's true
[22:21:18] <Ten> you both guard selatos, and what else?
[22:21:20] <TembreFell> thick black fur
[22:21:31] <Ten> unkept fingernails
[22:21:32] <TembreFell> long tail
[22:21:37] <selatos> whiskers
[22:21:37] <blackhole> if you pull their tails they scratch your face
[22:21:41] <TembreFell> mange
[22:21:41] <Ten> syn can't fall on his back
[22:21:42] <Loki> The only real difference is I'm not quite as housebroken
[22:21:53] <selatos> true, my cat never pissed on the floor
[22:22:03] <Loki> I only did it one time
#259
up
53
down
[16:16:49] <Thor> WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[16:17:06] <Thor> got white gurl wasted
[16:17:17] <Selatos> so you had like two appletinis and took your shirt off?
#269
up
92
down
[23:28:08] <@Ten> I don't know when your high schools start
[23:28:14] <@Ten> here it's 12/13
[23:28:19] <@Ten> depending on how early you're born
[23:28:38] <.Loki> I was born at an incredibly young age
[23:28:49] <@Ten> how early in the school year, motherfucker
[23:28:55] <.Loki> oh
#285
up
27
down
[10:31:15] <@Twelve> Medical procedures performed in ancient Africa before they were performed in Europe include vaccination, autopsy, limb traction and broken bone setting, bullet removal, brain surgery, skin grafting, filling of dental cavities, installation of false teeth, what is now known as Caesarean section, anesthesia and tissue cauterization (3).
[10:31:21] <@Twelve> bullet removal
[10:31:31] <@Twelve> ancient africa was advanced as fuck
[10:31:48] <@Twelve> they were shooting black people long before ferguson
#286
up
29
down
[11:08:58] <%Hudson> Starting build 5075 for job hoth (previous build: STILL FAILING -- last SUCCESS #4690 4 mo 3 days ago)
[11:09:52] <Brand> If you wanted something to tell you that you're a failure and that your last success was months ago, why not just get married?
#288
up
26
down
[19:36:37] <Brand> My dad gave me a birthday card that was signed 'Happy Birthday, please recycling this card, love pop'
[19:37:04] <Brand> So i crossed out Birthday and wrote 'x-mas' and crossed out Pop and wrote 'son'
#289
up
23
down
[08:23:48] <Deric_Adams> wtf are you reading?
[08:24:04] <@Superman> nothing go away
[08:24:10] <Deric_Adams> guys, erek is reading 50 shades of grey
[08:24:17] <Deric_Adams> lets all laugh and point at him
[08:24:41] <@Superman> 50 Shades of Grey is a book not a series
[08:24:44] <@Superman> I think
[08:24:46] <@Superman> To google!
[08:24:48] <Deric_Adams> wrong
[08:24:53] <Deric_Adams> there is like 3 books
[08:25:10] <@Superman> ew
[08:25:17] <@Superman> there are three-...
[08:25:24] <@Superman> How'd you know that...
[08:26:06] <Deric_Adams> I um
[08:26:08] <Deric_Adams> uhh
[08:26:13] <Deric_Adams> gotta go!
[08:26:15] * Quits: Deric_Adams (Deric_Adam@swc-irc.cp2.4m6.k0aau8.IP) (Quit: <DA->I saw Srota today, suicide sounds very good right now)
#294
up
9
down
[14:39:12] <blackhole> well, i was almost eaten by a grua if that counts
[14:39:27] <blackhole> but i guess i should add grua means crane
[14:39:35] <.selatos> the bird or the construction vehicle
[14:40:01] <blackhole> construction
[14:40:08] <blackhole> i always preemptively hide from birds
#295
up
19
down
[17:09:55] <Keth> So you're saying that there are currently no laws in elysia?
[17:10:24] <Loki|Arrow> well it's called elysia for a reason, of course there are no laws
[17:10:36] <Dagaro> But it has a King?
[17:10:43] <Loki|Arrow> i didn't vote for him
[17:11:01] <Dagaro> He was chosen by the Lady of the Maw
[17:11:27] <Rev[a]n> Some fancy tart throwing swords out a blackhole is no basis for a government
#301
up
55
down
<Minty_Cream> dress shirts never go out of fashion
<Loki> http://puu.sh/gDg13/104f7d4f59.jpg THIS WAS A DRESS SHIRT ONCE
<Loki> IT WENT OUT OF FASHION
<Loki> QED.
<Chermobyl> It was never.
<Loki> well then what the fuck did i wear it to my uncle's funeral for
<Chermobyl> Never end a sentence with a preposition
<Loki> well then what the fuck did i wear it to my uncle's funeral for, bitch
#302
up
24
down
<Loki> [10:46:49] <selatos> making new adult friends sounds great, i hate hanging out with all the children that get on irc :/ #lololol
<Loki> i feel offended
<Thirteen> finding children is the only reason I am on irc
#305
up
4
down
[14:07:31] <.selatos> good news mikel
[14:07:36] * Ming (Ming@swc-irc.g50.hj7.njvhe5.IP) has joined #swc-members
[14:07:42] <.selatos> taint checking is a standard part of software development; you're clearly in the wrong profession
[14:08:03] * Ming (Ming@swc-irc.g50.hj7.njvhe5.IP) has left #swc-members ("")
#306
up
6
down
[20:01:45] <@Mikel> I put peanut butter on my brown sugar
[20:01:56] <@Mikel> but her name is Sholonda
[20:02:01] <Kilian> Oh my
#309
up
28
down
[23:15:47] <Cherokee> I've invented the double wink
[23:22:39] <Cherokee> k
[23:22:48] <Cherokee> turns out that's just a blink
[23:22:52] <Cherokee> back to the drawing board
#326
up
7
down
<Minty_Cream> : clearly
<Minty_Cream> : anyone can post about books in general talk
<Minty_Cream> : AND THEY CAME EN MASSE
<Minty_Cream> : if you build it they will come, indeed
<Sadatsu> : I knew a girl who came in Mass once. It was....awkward.
#333
up
2
down
[13:56:24] <Dwajon__Tuckcrac> Idoit
[13:56:47] * Dwajon__Tuckcrac stairs at the idiot
#337
up
19
down
[13:25:42] <Altair> and grammatically its good nuff?
[13:25:55] <@Ten> depends on what you consider good enough
[13:26:26] <Altair> I spelled enough as nuff.
#338
up
15
down
[22:23:12] <Carlisle> Hmm. My best man speech is clocking in at 5 minutes 10 seconds. I think I need to trim some of it.
[22:23:17] <Carlisle> Or speed up the delivery.
[22:31:58] <Twelve> just remove every single pause
[22:32:44] <Carlisle> But those are the spots I breathe.
[22:33:18] <Twelve> ugh
[22:33:27] <Twelve> just do it like they do in those high school debate teams
[22:33:34] <Twelve> just one hickup and done
[22:33:49] <Carlisle> What, be socially awkward and a minority?
[22:33:53] <Carlisle> oh
#339
up
-1
down
[09:20:02] <Dante_Erinith> Also, there usually so few people on IRC this time of the day? I remember there being a hell of a lot more a few years ago.
[09:20:29] <.selatos> Current Local Users: 182 Max: 312
[09:20:29] <.selatos> Current Global Users: 190 Max: 320
[09:20:40] <@Thirteen> irc was more active a few years ago
[09:20:44] <.selatos> i suppose it is a bit lower than max, but mostly people just don't like -members
[09:20:53] <.selatos> because of ten, mostly
[09:20:59] * .selatos stares
[09:21:01] <Dante_Erinith> Damn ten.
[09:21:02] <Dante_Erinith> Who's ten?
[09:21:15] <@Thirteen> he goes by Loki nowadays
[09:21:21] * @Thirteen stares
[09:21:22] <Dante_Erinith> Damn ten.
[09:21:25] * Dante_Erinith stares
#340
up
3
down
[21:23:02] <%Lan> Everytime I write a line of code
[21:25:12] <&selatos> do you think about whether i would judge you for it?
[21:28:31] <%Lan> Yes :'(
[21:28:45] <&selatos> perfect :p
#341
up
25
down
[16:11:55] <Kilian> Lee Lee, Keth is our local night walker
[16:12:30] <Keth> bleh!
[16:12:34] * Keth avoids garlic
[16:12:49] <Kilian> no I meant male prostitue
[16:13:49] <Keth> bleh!
[16:13:54] * Keth avoids the popo
#342
up
5
down
[18:27:39] <%blackhole> that was some nice interracial homoerotic historical dream
[18:29:30] <DK> stop dreaming with hutts
[18:31:15] <%blackhole> it did take place in butt space
[18:33:13] <DK> :O
[18:33:19] <DK> Nal Butta?
[18:42:08] <%blackhole> 55 days at Nal Butta
[18:42:39] <%blackhole> it was a strange setting for a dream... i'm not even sure if i ever finished watching that (at pekin) movie
[18:42:59] <%blackhole> peking*
[18:50:08] <%blackhole> so anyway, the awkward moment was when i was exploring a black soldier's body for leechs in an oriental sauna in the middle of a desert town
[18:50:30] <Keth> well did you find any
[18:56:01] <%blackhole> yea! \o/
[18:56:23] <%blackhole> and i pretty much woke up there, which was sad
[18:56:31] <%blackhole> it was being a great adventure before the leeches check up
#345
up
36
down
[03:19:15] <Loki> ten aftershocks so far
[03:19:47] <Ten> are you saying I'm fat
[03:21:56] <Loki> I'm saying you rocked my world for at least a minute and a half, with several breaks in the middle
[03:23:20] <Ten> that's what I'm known for
[03:23:25] <Ten> a minute and a half with several breaks
#347
up
28
down
[11:03] <@Twelve> It's hard to parse incoming tactical information when someone is reading you literotica featuring your mother
#350
up
20
down
<@Thirteen> what about dre?
<Kilian_Delmarco> People act like they forgot about dre.
<PRE_Kynnovan> Who is Dre?
<@Thirteen> motherfucker, acting like you forgot about dre
<Kilian_Delmarco> Shame.
<@Thirteen> he's still the same OG, he's just been low key!
<PRE_Kynnovan> Well, in my defense I've only been around for 10 months
#359
up
26
down
[08:05:01] <selatos> new server, yo
[08:05:45] * Loki strokes it
[17:31:16] <selatos> i only stroke it in private
[17:31:28] <selatos> maybe you need to be more discreet
[17:53:18] <Loki> this is private! It's just me and two other dudes
[18:37:09] <Superman> Did you just assume my gender?
[18:53:45] <Loki> sorry what are your preferred pronouns
[18:54:04] <Loki> I just kinda went by the "man" part of your name but now I realize that was foolish of me and it could simply be a surname
[18:58:31] <Superman> I prefer the guttural sound of man, but my preferred pronouns include 'phi' and 'phur'
[18:58:43] <Superman> My preference of the sound of the word man does not denote my gender
#370
up
19
down
[19:06:04] <Loki> I dont know
[19:06:06] <ETJ> How fast can you talk german.
[19:06:14] <ETJ> We did it out of order.
[19:06:15] <ETJ> Try again.
[19:06:17] <ETJ> How fast can you talk german.
[19:06:25] <Loki> yeah but they go bad so quickly
[19:06:38] <ETJ> You're out of phase.
[19:06:40] <Loki> oops
[19:06:42] <ETJ> Your time machine broke
[19:06:45] <ETJ> Lets do this again
[19:06:47] <Loki> write that down for a few days from now
[19:06:47] <ETJ> How fast can you talk german.
[19:06:51] <Loki> I dont know
[19:06:55] <ETJ> Damn.
#372
up
24
down
[16:39] <@Ten> https://cdn15.acloudimages.com/36d/f74/389/300x250_30.gif she just keeps typing D:
[16:41] <blackhole> she probably wants to propose you for sex but she is scared of being so direct
[16:42] <blackhole> ignore her. unsecure females are not too good in bed
[16:42] <blackhole> ..or insecure
[16:43] <@Ten> have you had much experience with insecure females in bed?
[16:43] <blackhole> i'm always the insecure female in bed
[16:44] * blackhole is typing...
[16:44] * blackhole is typing...
[16:44] * blackhole is typing...
[16:45] <blackhole> hi?
[16:45] * @Ten is typing...
[16:46] * blackhole is typing...
#373
up
50
down
<Loki> Sorry, but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin.
#374
up
4
down
[23:17:22] <Ten> voldemort would've had a lot fewer problems if he wasn't such an asshole #SoRelatable
#375
up
11
down
[22:40:03] <blackhole> when i was a child, i had a lazy eye but then it spreaded to my whole person. that's why i'm so lazy now
#376
up
46
down
[04:35:49] <.Loki> List of words containing "meow": meow, meowed, meowing, meows, homeowner
#377
up
22
down
[23:31:48] * Loki offers a lindor ball
[23:31:48] <Superman> I don't like you.
[23:31:51] <Superman> That much.
[23:31:54] <Loki> oh
[23:31:56] * Loki retracts lindor ball
[23:32:09] <Superman> ... what the hell, at least give me a KISS
[23:32:13] <Loki> I don't have any!
[23:32:14] <Loki> I only have balls
[23:32:23] <Loki> You will take my balls and like it!
[23:32:29] <Superman> ... fine, I'll take one of your balls
[23:32:33] <Loki> they're creme filled
[23:32:38] <Loki> hold on I already put one in my mouth
[23:32:48] <Superman> But I want one in mine D:
[23:32:56] <Loki> ok this one is really white
[23:33:02] <Superman> kk
[23:33:19] * Loki inserts into Superman's mouth
[23:33:41] * Superman starts
[23:33:48] <Coleman> so you each have a ball in your mouths?
[23:33:50] * Loki finishes
[23:33:55] <dot> This is the worst cyber I've ever read

prev12345next